Meeting Grace: The Blog

Tonight will be the last post of November and the final post in NaBloPoMo.  It’s been great, I think. Especially for the reason I stated yesterday about reading other blogs every day.  I know I’ll post more frequently in December than maybe I would have if it hadn’t been for this exercise.  I saw something on the NaBloPoMo blog about Holidailies.  Anyone know anything about it?
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It’s been pouring rain ALL DAY here and now into the evening.  The all caps is for emphasis.  It rarely rains here for longer than an hour, but it’s kept coming down consistently.  I got good use out of the umbrella I have, that’s for sure.  Someone who works in the building next to mine saw me this morning and asked to borrow it so he could go get something in his car.  He was nice about it and I found it kind of funny.

Otherwise it was a pretty hectic day.  Meetings and a lot of them, all backed up against each other.  But now it’s Friday night and we’re getting ready to head out to a gig. Which is what we’ll be doing the rest of the weekend, too.  I think I might try to get some shopping done, too.
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Here’s to a fabulous December, the off-chance I win a random prize for NaBloPoMo, a fabulous weekend, laughter, rain and music.

The weather today was kind of bizarre.  Cloudy most of the day but no wind, not cold, but not overly warm either.  Still I wore my Birks with no socks and no jacket.  I feel the need to comment on the weather somewhat because on many of the other blogs I read, they tell tales of snow and the consistency of the flakes that fall from the sky.  No such thing here and so I must narrate our version of the approaching winter.

It’s a quiet night.  These can be rare.  Han is wiped out from working in the studio all day, so he is dozing while I blog and the football game is on in the background. 

I had a rather frustrating day at work.  It’s hard to explain without going into mundane details so I’ll spare you, but it made me just feel kind of icky by the end of the day.  It was nice to stop and get a pizza and a couple cokes for our dinner tonight.  Simple, yummy. 
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Today I had the distinct feeling that I have lost some of my words.  Or at least the ability to string them together in some poetic or otherwise entertaining fashion.  I read other blogs and am impressed by their wit, humor, ability to go beyond the basic descriptions and I feel flummoxed.  When I think back on past poems and the language I used, I am hard-pressed to tap into the inspiration that prompted such freedom of expression.  Maybe as I’ve gotten older, I’ve subconsciously limited my own words, imposed an editor that is so fast I don’t even get the chance to think with whimsy, fantasy or magic.  How do I kill that editor?  I was listening to Andrei Codrescu reading a piece on NPR this afternoon and I was fascinated by the tale he spun.  It wasn’t a poem necessarily but the way he dipped and moved from topic to topic with a warped fluidity was entrancing to me. And I wondered when I might get back to a point when I feel that free again with my words.   And right after that wondered if I already am but just in a different way. The idea of writing an actual poem sometimes seems nearly impossible and the fact that I’ve written so many in the past makes me wonder if it was all some kind of fluke.  There were days when I wasn’t satisfied unless I put pen to paper, when I knew that I could count on the act of writing to release my stress and help me feel more grounded.  Although I’ve blogged every day, I haven’t felt the same kind of grounding as I do when I write in my journal, but then the thought of bending back that brand new book, empty of any of my ink or guts, makes me feel woozy.  It’s like I’ve put some brand of pressure on myself that this next journal must be brilliant.  And if I don’t feel brilliant, I’m not about to mark the pages with words of any kind.  Why is this?

When I give myself time (like right now) to explore my feelings, it’s helpful.  I didn’t plan to write about my trepidation, my gun-shy pen.  But I remembered that Codrescu piece and it brought this all on.  Maybe I need to get back to reading my favorite poets again, and discovering new ones.  Maybe I need to force myself to do 5 or 10 minute timed writings every day just to see what comes out (haven’t I mentioned that here already? why don’t I make it happen?)  Maybe it does come down to time, the ever-elusive luxury, when I can set aside an hour, two hours to do nothing but read, write and let the magic flow.

I’m watching last week’s episode of “Project Runway” which will be followed by the new episode. Sarah Jessica Parker is the guest judge on the episode from last week.  How can you not like her?  Square Pegs anyone?
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I spoke to my aunts tonight.  They sent me birthday cards with some money in them, so I called to tell them thanks and to just chat a bit.  It was nice to talk to them. 
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For dinner tonight, it was grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup.  Yum!  Nice & comforting, easy, too. 
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Wow, I just have very little to say tonight.  But there was no way I wasn’t going to post since there are only 2 more days (after tonight) of NaBloPoMo!  On that topic, I’m so glad that I chose to undertake this challenge.  But I’m even more thrilled that some of my favorite bloggers (including my sis!) decided to do it because I’ve really enjoyed keeping up with them daily.  I know I won’t be able to blog every day in December with the trip to GA, but I’d like to try to keep up with daily as best I can.
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That’s all for now, until tomorrow!

It’s Tuesday and there’s not much to report really.  Han is in the kitchen making chicken burritos.  CSI: Miami is on the TV. I’m looking into 2008 to plan some shows.  I have a featured poetry reading coming up on the 9th of December that I need to prepare for.  My company’s holiday party is coming up and I have to buy a dress for that.  Did I mention that it’s formal?  Guys have to wear suits with ties (or tuxes), women have to wear dresses (or gowns).  I find that so irriating.  And they hang an ultimatum with it.  If you go, you get the following day off, if you don’t go, you have to work.  Han is not attending and I don’t blame him.  I’d rather not attend but I want that day off.  There’s gift shopping to do.  There’s a rental car and hotel room to book for our trip.  There are solstice cards to create and mail.  The list just keeps growing.  But I can handle it.  I can take it all in stride.  It’s all manageable, with the right planning.
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The sky tonight was not as lovely as yesterday but the way the light shined over the areas near Miramar, for a moment I felt like I could have been in Utah or Idaho, driving through an early winter afternoon, before any snow has fallen and the cold is just starting to be a brisk snap at your face. You’re warm in your car but the window is chilly. 
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I have a Netflix movie that is waiting to be watched.  Two People magazines that my mom gave me to read. Clothes & dishes to be washed.  A sprinkler that needs adjusting.  And a partridge in a pear tree.

Leaving work this afternoon, the sky was brilliant.  Spotted with wispy clouds, its color varied from a rosy pink in the west to a soft violet in the east.  I found myself staring at it, barely keeping my eyes on the road.  It’s been some time since the sky has distracted me with such loveliness.  It pleased me.

I do miss weather sometimes.  The way the sky can turn menacing but still feel sheltering.  How wind brings the earth’s scents swirling about you.  The way rain or snow can make everything around you feel hushed and still. But the variations in sunlight are wonderful, too.  The hard warmth of the most brilliantly hot day in the summer, the muted light on a winter morning (yes, even here in San Diego) that rarely provides heat but glares off of everything.  I especially like when the sun plays with the wind so that when it burrows into my hair, any way I turn brings strands to my face that are dripping with warm comfort and the feeling that everything is exactly as it should be.

As I look ahead to the holidays, I can look forward to learning how the sun and the weather will greet me in Florida and Georgia.  It will be the first Christmas that I won’t spend with my mom and dad and I predict it will be a tough holiday in that respect. But on the other hand, I will be with Han and DK and will be encircled with his mom’s family and their traditions.  I’m excited for that, to see a new part of the country, to look to the sky and be inspired.

I believe it was 11 am when I rolled out of bed this morning.  Wow.  And it’s not like we stayed up real late last night either.  I love sleeping.  I’m quite good at it.  It is what I do when I’m sick or stressed.  It definitely plays a part with how I cope with things. It’s the ultimate in lazy but it’s also restorative.  I truly feel for insomniacs, though at one point, I wished that I was because so many great artists have suffered from insomnia and I thought I was missing out on some level of creativity in myself.  I’ve never been the girl who wakes up to write things down, whether it’s for work or a bolt of creativity.  If my dreams are vivid, I’ll try to write them down the next day.  I dreamt last night, weird weird dreams that involved family and random people.  I woke up crying and had that sense of relief and disbelief wash over me simultaneously.  Dream feelings can feel so real that when you wake it’s sometimes hard to shake the residuals of those feelings.  
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The rest of today has been pretty mellow.  Watching football, a trip to the grocery store, doing the dishes.  DK will be coming over tonight (rather than tomorrow after school) so she’ll be here in a little while.  We’ll have dinner and watch TV, it will be good to see her.
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Tomorrow negotiations will resume between the WGA and the AMPTP. The strike continues in the meantime.  Go WGA!!

Did some housecleaning early this morning and helped Han prepare the house for his session today, then it was off to my Royal Island pedicure!  It was lovely, though the girl working on me seemed a bit horrified by my heels.  They do need some more TLC.  But I’m so happy with the color I chose for the polish.  Happy toes!

Stopped by the store then came home.  They were still working (still are) so I came into the bedroom to watch TV and do a little work.  Little being the optimum word.  I didn’t do as much as I’d planned or hoped to do.  I did make a quick trip to Submarina for sandwiches for Han & I.  The band he’s working with are guys we’ve never met though they seem nice, kind of an alternative sound. 

Not sure when they’ll be totally done, but tomorrow there’s nothing scheduled so we’ll have a good relaxing day.

Last night, we went to a gig where Han sat in with the band.  It was fun.  I tried to write, but ended up making a list of things to do, gifts to buy and songs to download.

That’s all for now!  Until tomorrow…

After a very successful Thanksgiving hosted by great friends, today was family day.  I drove up to LA to spend the day with my mom & dad.  There were yummy snacks, a long nap, a yummy late lunch and lots of chatting in between.  I also scored some of my mom’s clothes, which was a bonus.  Tonight, Han & I are going to a gig with other friends which will be fun.

Yesterday was really nice.  A great group of talented and fun people who all are really good at making food for lots of people.  There was a cheese plate, deviled eggs, chips & dips and plenty of booze.  Then there was a big turkey, pot roast, mashed potatoes, Han’s green bean casserole, various corn dishes, a broccoli rice casserole, bread, and various kinds of stuffing. For dessert, my applesauce chocolate chip cookies, a pecan pie, various pumpkin pies and other little sweets.  After we ate, a Pictionary game broke out and later, I found an empty chair in front of the TV which was showing “Planes, Trains and Automobiles.”  Someone threw a blanket over me and I was pretty done for the day.  Excellent.

Hope yours was good, too!

Cinammon rolls and bacon for breakfast.  Football on TV.  Already talked to my mom and sister.  Need to make a call to my aunts and then it’s off to our friends’ house where they’re hosting 25 of us.  Brave souls.  Han is making green bean casserole to contribute to the feast while I made applesauce chocolate chip cookies last night to take with us.

I think before we go, I’ll try to get through my latest issue of “Real Simple” magazine (a gift I got last year for Christmas).  At some point, I’ll also get out of my pj’s.   There’s lots of events, gigs, work, get-togethers, appointments coming up, so I’ll try to relish these moments when it is just about doing whatever sounds good at the time.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

It’s been a pretty mellow day.  Wrapping things up at work for the rest of the week.  Then, it was a stop at the bank and the grocery store.  Got home and made dinner though there was a disturbance in the force.  
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Dinner with Heather last night was fun.  We went to a local Mexican eatery called Ponce’s, which is really tasty.  It was great to catch up with her.  With all the years behind us and still so many more ahead of us, it is great to have her as a friend.  We still connect on so many things, which is so comforting.  Our lives don’t often overlap anymore so we have to make time for each other, but there’s never the feeling of being forgotten and that is a beautiful thing.
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I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Trying to get some writing done, and looking at Christmas lists and into ‘08 and making some plans.  On Friday, I’ll travel up to LA to visit my folks.  That night is undetermined, but then Saturday, I’ll get a pedicure which I’m really looking forward to, then Sunday, more relaxing and probably more Christmas planning.

Until then!