WARNING: ultra long post! (scroll down to only read about the Christmas holiday)
From the end of November until we left for our trip time was in fast motion. The first weekend of December, Han had a gig in LA, but I wasn’t feeling well so I stayed home (this is rare). He had a gig here in town on Sunday that I also missed. I did most of the shopping that day and various errands. Then it was a work week, with barely time enough to spare for much else other than holiday stuff (cards, returns, prep for the trip etc).
On the 6th was my formal work holiday party. Han ended up not going, not that I blame him. It was exactly what I envisioned, lots of dressed up people, few of whom I know, in a large ballroom forced to make merry. I’m just not down with much of that, but I’m a team player. I had my two free cocktails, ate my free dinner, listened to the speeches and left before the band was on their third song. Han & I left that night for LA where we planned to get away from it all in the magic kingdom. And although there were threats of a huge storm, it was a downright pleasant day and one of the best times I’ve had there. We watched the parade and shows that we usually don’t and just had a blast.
The following evening, he had a gig in the valley and during the day, we lounged and it was awesome. We drove back to San Diego after the highly successful gig and crashed out.
The following day (the 9th for those following along) I had a featured reading at Open Door Books in the afternoon. It was fine though sparsely attended. Han went with me and I was glad. We heard some good stuff and I had a chance to spend time with my dear friend, Robt. Then we were off to a white elephant party that saw us take home a new waffle maker. It was fun to hang with all my fabulous musical friends.
Speaking of friends, allow me to interject two stories I learned in December about two women who used to be in my life, who used to be my closest, most cherished friends. After we got back from our weekend in LA, I opened up a holiday letter from a friend’s parents and learned that said friend had gotten married. In June. Now that might not seem like a big deal, but this friend was different. I’ve known her since 9th grade and in our junior year, we bonded. The bond continued through college and beyond. I truly thought we were lifelong friends. But things changed, as things do. And it’s true that we weren’t particularly communicative in the last year or two, but this hurt. This major milestone in her life came & went, much like our friendship apparently, and I was completely thrown by it.
And now for the second story, another thing I was thrown by, also news about another friend. She sent an email to Han and his ex to let them know that she would be leaving her job at a camp in the northwest (her dream job) where DK had been going to for a week or two in the summer for the last couple years. She said that DK was still welcome to go to the camp but that she wouldn’t be able to pick her up from the airport etc. She went on to say that she was in a happily solid relationship and that she and her girlfriend would be moving to Georgia to build a life together. So, yeah, she discovered or figured out that she liked women and there you have it.
There’s no judgment here, just a strange emptiness about getting all of this information second-hand, about being so completely insubstantial after being connected for so long. And until writing about both of them here, just now, I hadn’t allowed myself to think too much about it. Because both episodes are closures, final chapters in these former relationships of mine. And there’s a strange sense of letting go that I have yet to fully embrace. Because I still wonder what happened. Where and/or how it was that we diverged so sharply. But because I am who I am, I still sent them both holiday cards (not the cool one with Han & DK, but just a regular card), in which I wrote a small note to each, wishing them well in their new adventures, and I signed it from me, Han & DK. I had planned on sending them both a card before these revelations were made known anyway because they both sent one to me/us last year. This year, we did not receive anything from them and I honestly was not expecting anything. I do feel like I need to have some sort of ritual for myself, perhaps a burning ceremony in which I finally purge them from my life, if not entirely from my memory.
Now back to the wrap-up…
The week of the 10th saw the trip plans kick into high gear, rental car, rooms, flight schedules, making sure we can take home whatever we pick up there. Plus, still working. On Friday the 14th, my department had a holiday lunch with a couple other depts and that was way more my style. A great casual lunch just hanging out and talking. They let us have the rest of the day off and I drove home composing a poem to read that night on the Star of India for a show that was taking place. Plus my parents were coming to town for the weekend to celebrate my mom’s birthday and of course, to the show. I got myself down there and met up with them and was happy to help them feel like VIPs. The show was great and my poem was very well-received. After the show, a few of us kept the party going at a friend’s bar, though Han & I headed out first.
On the 15th, my folks went out to Julian for the day and I was out most of the day finishing up my shopping and putting the final touches on our holiday cards. I went to dinner with my folks while Han set up the house for a vocal rehearsal with his band. After dinner, we actually sat and listened while they worked out different parts. It was cool. I’m usually holed away in the bedroom during rehearsal, but it was interesting and I think Mom & Dad really enjoyed it, too. Sunday saw more of the same running around and finishing touches (laundry, finding a house sitter, addressing holiday cards) as we were leaving on the following Wednesday.
Monday & Tuesday were fraught with activity. Packing, scheduling a shuttle for rides to & from the airport. Plus on Tuesday night, Han had a big show downtown. DK & I went down there to help set up the merch but the event was overwhelming the venue and there was no one to really take charge of the merch area. I felt an obligation to stay and see that it was going to be taken care of, thoroughly throwing off my schedule for the evening. But in the end, it all worked out, although Han & I were up ’til about 1 am and had to ready for the shuttle by 6:30 am. Oy!
CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY starts here:
The morning of the 19th, it was raining buckets as we loaded ourselves and our luggage into the shuttle to make our way to the airport. Flying makes me very anxious and I’d already had a breakdown that morning. I was trying to stay calm when I realized I had completely forgotten about one of Han’s cousins and that we wouldn’t have one of our holiday “cards” for them. [As an aside, our holiday card was awesome. Han had the idea for DK & I to recite "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" while he played "Silent Night" acoustically in the background. The cover would be a photo of us. We managed to pull it off somehow, thanks to Rob, Tim, Staples and the USPS.] So I was panicked, we didn’t have any more copies and we couldn’t show up and not have one for this family who would be spending time with us. We resolved to ask his mom for help and then we were at the airport. We got through security and went to our gate and it was time for me to board. Here’s the other thing. I was in row 44, while Han & DK were in row 18. I wouldn’t be able to sit with them the whole flight. I was gripping my little meditating yogi and found my seat. There was some delay in take-off because of the weather and I just closed my eyes and tried to relax. Finally, we were in the air and the time passed. I watched the in-flight movie “No Reservations.” It was okay, I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theater. Once we landed in Atlanta around 3:30 pm, Han was in airport mode, all business. He got the luggage while DK & I went to get the rental car. It was cloudy and it started raining as we drove to our hotel in Buckhead, an Embassy Suites. We settled in a bit and I made the calls to figure out how to get to the nearby Lenox Square Mall. Turns out the hotel offered a shuttle to our destination and we went there. Han wanted to go to the Apple store to buy a car adapter to play his new iPod on our travels. We also happened upon a great restaurant, PRIME, right there in the mall. We shared the sushi dinner and it was really yummy. Then it was back to the hotel to crash. We were tired!
On the 20th, we got on the road around 9 am to begin the drive down to Florida to Han’s mom’s house. It’s about a 6 hour drive. We stopped at the Cracker Barrel in Morrow, GA for some tasty southern breakfast. Yum! Once we got past the Fort Valley area (where Han’s grandparents live and where we’d be returning for Christmas), we had Travelling Trivia. Since Han’s mom makes this drive often, she came up with little questions about the route and had mile markers as clues for where to look for the answers. It was great because it helped pass the time. DK held up pretty good, she’s not a big fan of the long car rides. We had lunch at an Arby’s somewhere along the way and made to Han’s mom’s place (I’ll refer to her as B) by 4 pm or so. Han’s half-sister, S (23), was there and D, his step-dad was on the way home. B was making spaghetti for dinner so we were able to just relax and visit for a while which was great. After dinner, with DK all squared away to stay at the house, Han & I went to our hotel that was not too far away in a little beach town called Indian Rocks Beach, which sits smack dab between the Gulf of Mexico and Florida’s intercoastal, which is quite a trippy part of the landscape and environment. The evening air was warm with a slightly cool breeze, completely lovely. The hotel was pretty empty so Han & I found our way to the bar and unwound for the rest of the evening. It was really fun and we ended up talking about how different our lives would have been if our parents had made different decisions. Like moving to Florida, or not moving to Northern CA. We had a great, fun night and I loved talking about all that stuff with him.
The next day was Friday, the 21st, and the day was reserved for shopping. Han’s family drew names so the adults only had to buy for one person, but everyone was buying for the kids. Instead of buying stuff in SD and travelling with it, we chose to shop when we got there. DK & her aunt headed to the movies, so Han, B & I hit the mall. It went pretty well, though we got kind of a late start and it was hot. But we made all the purchases we needed to make so headed back, then Han & I went to our room to get ready for the ballet. We had Chinese food ordered in at B’s place before we left, not bad. Then we headed to the show. My first ballet, and my first time seeing the Nutcracker. Our seats were great and the theater was lovely. The Moscow Ballet presented the show. I have to be honest. I didn’t love it. Granted, I should have prepared myself by knowing the story beforehand. But truly, my sister sees this every year, so I really thought I would love it. I wasn’t sure who or what to watch, I was barely following the narrative, I was put off by the silence of the people on stage, I was distracted by the costumes and the pervading thought was how much it must hurt to be a ballerina. Believe me, I didn’t expect to have this reaction. At intermission, I was obviously not giddy with excitement and I felt terrible since B had gone to the trouble to get us tickets and it was a nice family thing (one of D’s children and her boyfriend were there, too). So I rallied and did actually enjoy the 2nd half a bit more, but still came away from it with the knowledge that I probably won’t seek that out in the future. After the performance, we went back to the house for a bit, then Han & I went back to the hotel where we hung out and watched TV for a while, then hit the sack.
On Saturday, the 22nd, we left around 9 am to head back to Georgia, this time with B, D & S in a second car (actually DK & S rode with us for space reasons). The plan was to drive directly to Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Georgia to witness Fantasy in Lights. The drive took longer, I think, than B & D anticipated and it also starting raining as we got there. We stopped along the way and got gas and had lunch from Sonic. We rolled up to Callaway Gardens shortly before it was time for our trolley ride through the grounds to see the lights. It was cold, rainy and getting muddy on the grounds. We got on our trolley and started through the Fantasy in Lights. It was really cool, very pretty and quite amazing the amount of work they put into it. There were parts of the ride that got pretty cold, especially when we were near the lake. But overall, it was lovely and I’m glad we did it. Check out the Flickr set. Afterward, we had hot chocolate and looked around the little village they created before we got back in the car to head to Grammy & Poppa’s house in Fort Valley. It took another hour or two in the rain to get there. They were still up waiting for us. We said hello, unpacked what DK would need, then Han & I headed to our hotel and crashed out.
The next day was Sunday, the 23rd. Everyone but Han & I went to church, then he & I went to the house around 11:30 am. It was a mellow time, everyone just having sandwiches and watching football. Han & I decided to go to the CVS to get stocking stuffers for the two adults we were responsible for gift-wise. We also drove through Fort Valley so I could see the town. Being from a small town myself, I didn’t find it much different than what I’ve known, though this town was much smaller than where I grew up in Idaho. The downtown was charming and there were some incredible houses. When we got back, things were gearing up in the kitchen for our late lunch and other family began to arrive. First was J, Han’s cousin. She was great and I had really looked forward to meeting her after all the Han had told me about her. She brought some (or all?) of the food we were having, which was a typical southern style lunch with pulled pork, barbecue beans and Brunswick stew. There was also coleslaw and I think corn. It was delicious. Also joining us was A & her husband and their three kids, who I’ll call the W’s. The oldest is the same age as DK and the boys are 8 and 4. Very sweet and rambunctious kids and DK had been waiting for their arrival with great anticipation. A & her husband were great, too and I just loved their thick Georgia accents. Grammy & Poppa were great, too. Grammy reminded me of my own grandmother (Dad’s side) in her gentle ways and country sensibilities. She suffered a stroke a couple years ago, but was, to me, managing quite well. Poppa wasn’t feeling too well and the concern of the family was apparent. He is a city council member even now at 80 years old and he & I share a birthday. At one point, he said something exactly the same way I’ve heard Han say it and I was struck by the deep roots shared by this family, though Han doesn’t get to see them often. After lunch, the kids went outside to play, football was on, and it was a typical lazy kind of Sunday. J took off while A and her family hung around a bit. DK was going to stay with them that night and they were all very excited about it. After they got everything together and took off, Han & I also took our leave shortly thereafter. We decided to drive through town again to see the lights. I loved how it all looked, a little Christmas-y twinkling land.
The next morning, Christmas Eve, we went over to the house around 9 am to have breakfast. Grammy had made a sausage casserole that included grits, eggs and other yummy goodness. It was rather tasty. B also made biscuits from scratch and they were really good. Since DK was still over at her cousins’, Han & I decided to take a drive to Macon to check it out. Might as well see part of the area. So we headed out for the 30 minute drive. We didn’t really have a destination. With it being Christmas Eve, we didn’t know what would be open, but our first stop was the Georgia Music Hall of Fame and it was open so we went in and checked it out. I thought it was great. There are some really amazing musicians who hail from Georgia: Ray Charles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Otis Redding, the Allman Brothers, Little Richard, Jerry Reed, Gladys Knight, Ronny Milsap, Lena Horne, Ma Rainey, Curtis Mayfield, Chet Atkins, the B-52’s, TLC, Alan Jackson, Indigo Girls, REM, Patty Loveless, Usher and many others. I was rather surprised at how many well-known acts called Georgia home. The museum is set up very cool, with different “sets” where the displays were. There was even a display for Gram Parsons, who, although not born in Georgia, was raised there. We liked that part as well. From there, we just drove around, looking at houses and checking things out. We were getting ready to head back via the Visitor Center when Han got a call from his ex. She told him that DK had just called her because, well, she received her first visit from Aunt Flo. We were stunned. And poor thing. She’s out in the Georgia woods with her cousins and uncle (A wasn’t even around) and she had to deal with this rather large development in her young life. We high-tailed it to pick her up and called B to meet us at CVS to help her out. Overall, it went surprisingly well, but we really felt for her. She was about as far away from her mom as she could possibly be, but she handled it all with quiet maturity. She’s a great kid.
We got back to the house and just hung around the rest of the time. For dinner, Grammy & B made this chicken dish with cranberry sauce that was really tasty. After a reminder from Han, I made myself available to help out in the kitchen and I think I earned some points, or at least avoided any negative remarks. Then we gathered in the family room and B played our holiday CD for everyone. It was a nice moment and I think everyone really enjoyed it. Then it became kind of a musical night that included B, DK & S doing the Twist, and Han going through a bunch of old vinyl records that they had stacked up in the corner. And there were some gems. Original Johnny Cash and Hank Williams records. Buck Owens, Merle Haggard. Some great stuff. They have a turntable so we even put on a few. Then, we turned on Monday Night Football since the SD Chargers were playing. We all watched that or visited for a while and then Han & I headed back to our room and called it a night. There were specific instructions given to DK to call us when she woke up so we could come over and watch her open her gifts from Santa.
Christmas morning, DK called us around 7 am. We got there by 8 am and watched her open some gifts. We had some breakfast, a variety of breads (cinammon loaf, banana nut, gingerbread, spice) along with bacon. After breakfast, Han & I went back to our room and back to bed. I think we slept ’til close to noon! The rest of the family was expected around 1:30 pm so we made our way back to the house around then. Everyone arrived and the plan was to eat first and then everyone open gifts. On the menu was ham, turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy, turnip casserole, squash casserole and crescent rolls. I have to admit, that turnip casserole was damn good! I never would have thought I’d enjoy such a thing, but yum! Then, the kids helped distribute all the gifts and we went around the room each opening a gift. Of course, the kids had more to open so sometimes they opened two or three at a time. A had my name and she gave me a Monet calendar, a lovely necklace and a mug & gift card from Powell’s books (yay!). I had J’s husband, E, and Han had J. They both enjoyed their gifts, and all the kids were very happy with what they got, too. After gifts, we had dessert, a yummy torte and peppermint ice cream. Then we visited and just hung out a while. J, her husband and their son, C, took their leave after dessert. I wished we’d had more time to hang with them. DK asked if she could stay over at the cousins’ again and they said yes. Because of all the booty the kids got, there wasn’t room for everything, so Han & I loaded up some stuff and went out to their house again. A asked Han to bring his guitar. Their house is lovely and the kids immediately dove into playing CSI, one of the W’s gifts, while the others played Wii. We talked with A & her husband and enjoyed some beer and wine and catching up some. Then, Han played a song, one he wrote for DK and they were just blown away. We talked about house concerts and the possibility of them hosting something if we go out there again next year or sometime. Then we bid them farewell and went back to Grammy & Poppa’s house where we watched an episode of NCIS, then went back to our room. It was our last night as we were heading back home the next day so we wanted to be sure to squeeze in as much time together as we could.
The next morning, we had most of our stuff together, but we went to the house to say goodbye to B, D and S who were heading back to Florida. We also said our goodbyes to Grammy & Poppa. I forced my own family tradition on them and made them stand for some family photos. I really had a nice time with Han’s family, and they were all very kind to me. I am really glad that we were there. I think it was tough for Han to say goodbye to his grandparents, but he was glad we made the trip, too. I find it really amazing that he still has 3 of his grandparents in his life. And the fact that DK knows them is great. I imagine it must have been rather difficult for Grammy & Poppa to suddenly have the house to themselves again after these 3 or 4 days full of family and bustling energy. Han & I went back to our room and finished packing. We had all of DK’s stuff, too, and we went to pick her up and then headed out of town back to Atlanta.
We gave ourselves plenty of time which was good. We got McDonald’s on our way and rolled into Atlanta with some time to spare so we decided to check out Coca-Cola World, which also happens to be next to Centennial Park. Han dropped off me & DK while he went to fill up the rental car with gas. There was no way to go into CC World because of time (plus the line was really long!), so we walked around and I took some skyline photos. Then we went across the street to the park and checked out the ice skating and the tree. And then it was off to the airport. As I mentioned, flying makes me anxious and part of it is the rush of people and the discomfort of the security checks. The security regulations in ATL were different than SD so I was held up because of my sleep machine and my laptop. The people behind me were impatient, I had put my boarding pass in my jacket which was going through the X-ray machine so I had to wait for that to show the security person. I was frazzled before we even got to the gate, the anxiety of flying itself was weighing on me and I had a small meltdown. Thankfully when we did get to the gate, nearly 1 1/2 hours early, Han & DK took a walk to let me relax and be alone for a moment. I needed it and I was very grateful.
The flight home was okay, we were seated one row apart so we could check in. The movie was “Hairspray” which was okay, but as I had predicted, I couldn’t get past John Travolta as Tracy’s mom. Every time he talked, all I could think of was Goldmember and the voice he used for that character. But the songs were good and I can see why people liked it. I’m still a fan of the original but give kudos to John Waters for having the courage to give it new life. Once we landed, I walked DK out to wait for her mom with her. When she was safely away, I met up with Han and we got our shuttle home.
end of Christmas holiday wrap-up
The night we got back, I offered to go out and grab us some dinner. But…dead battery. I spent an hour dealing with AAA to come give me a jump start and then letting me know the charge level of it. It was recommended that I get a new battery since the one I had was old and not showing much voltage.
I had to work the next day so there wasn’t much time to be home and relax from the travel. Thankfully, my truck started in the morning and I went to Auto Zone, got a new battery and went to work. The rest of the day was your basic work day, plus the post-holiday errands, getting the mail, paying bills, getting the keys back from our house-sitter. We were still pretty tired from the trip and it was an early night.
Friday, the 28th, another work day and another mellow evening. I was also managing to get more holiday CD’s made, planning a New Year’s Eve party, and trying to organize my self for the new year. The weekend was home clean-up day. Unpacking, laundry, grocery shopping. Saturday, we had an impromptu gathering of friends over to watch the Patriots games. Many of our friends are originally from New England so there was definite interest in the game. One friend, Han’s former roommate, told us that the following day, he was going to propose to his girlfriend, Cathryn, and it also happened to be their anniversary. He invited Han & I over to be part of it. I was so thrilled!
So now, it’s Sunday and after all the blah ordinary stuff of the day, it’s time to head over to their place. I was assured that it wouldn’t be weird for us to show up since she was having rehearsal and then they planned to have dinner. Han & I were going to a party later that evening anyway, so we’d just come for a cocktail and to hang out for a while. So we did. I was nervous for him. He was completely nervous. She had no idea and I knew it was going to be awesome. After we ate and chatted a bit, he managed to get her attention (she was busy working on stuff and talking etc). He got down on one knee and she just started crying. It was so beautiful. It was truly one of the most pure joyful moments I’ve ever witnessed. I managed to take a few photos, though they came out kind of dark. She called her parents and then just kept looking at her fiance with such love and joy, I knew it was time for us to hit the road. Congratulations Jonny & Cathryn!!
After that, we headed up to another friend’s place to celebrate his wife’s birthday. It was a very fun, casual evening, with more food and plenty of wine. We stayed a couple hours or a little more and then headed home since I had to work the next day. Our friend made sure to load us up with leftovers to have for our NYE party the next night.
I’ll admit that working on New Year’s Eve was not very productive, but I got some stuff done. I did leave early, around 2 pm, to come home and help prepare for the party. But in my last hour or so of work and on the way home, I began to not feel well at all, kind of queasy and dizzy. I’d taken a multivitamin that morning without much food and I think my body was just not used to all that stuff. I got home and immediately went to bed for an hour. I woke up much more refreshed and ready to take on the task of cleaning the house and getting ready for the party. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, cooking, we managed to do it all and were nearly ready (I was just getting into the shower) when our first guests arrived (though they were about 20 minutes early). And then it was on. More guests continued to arrive with food, alcohol and games, including karaoke. Now Han hates karaoke, but I didn’t truly understand just how much until the day after. I don’t mind it, and I think I did three songs total. But many people enjoyed it. That was in the living room. In the kitchen was a whole other contingent, listening to Led Zeppelin and spilling out into the side patio and the backyard in the gazebo. I’d say it was a highly successful party. With five minutes to go until the ball dropped, I was pouring champagne and getting help distributing it. The TV was tuned to whatever channel had coverage and we rang in the new year with all of our closest friends. And then the party raged on. I think it was around 2 or 2:30 am that people started heading home. We had designated drivers and everyone was safe. I was already home and as I stated in my previous post, threw moderation out the window. I wish I would have cut myself off sooner, but I was having a blast and I knew I was in a safe place so I let it go.
And now here we are! I did it. It took me part of three days to write this whole post. Whew. Congratulations if you got through the whole thing! Still to come (in another post), my thoughts on 2007 and my resolutions/goals for 2008.
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