December 2008


So this year sucked in a lot of ways. Every year always has its ups and downs but this year seemed like every time there was an up, the down was like a swift kick in the gut followed by a pummeling that left me exhausted for weeks.

As so many other blogs are doing (and why wouldn’t they), there are various re-caps, summing ups and favorites lists to send 2008 on its way. I will not deviate from that much, but I’ll first give my thoughts on some things I’m thinking about as the new year is but hours away for me.

My sister already has her “resolutions” in place. I put that word in quotations only because it’s become such a cliche. They are goals, things to look forward to, simple accomplishments and major ideas. As she said, “I have everything from “Eat at the Red Iguana” to “end the year lighter than I started it.”” I have not yet committed anything to paper or planner or blog, but the overall sense I have for 2009 in relation to making it a good year is self care. (did you see that, Mom?) I want to be more aware of the ways I can take care of myself so that I can be more joyous, more free, more loving, etc. These things, like so much in life, are big and small. A pedicure, a walk, a guilt-free day of reading, a movie, health…

There are other thoughts I have for ‘09 but that is the one that has been resonating the most these last few days. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have not fully committed to that concept this year, as much as I thought I was at some points. I need to find a way to integrate it into my daily life so that it’s not just about “me” time, but a shift in how I tackle all of my tasks. This realization has been slow-coming but, if successful, will help align a lot of things that frequently seem out of whack.

So on to the ‘08 re-cap. And speaking of “resolutions”, let’s look back at what I envisioned for this year:

1. Reduce my impact on the earth.
2. Read 20-25 books.
3. Get back to my poetry roots.
4. Better prepare for the holidays.
5. Take a couple trips.
6. Release “Best of Meeting Grace” volume 2
7. Acoustic Duo goals:
- book and route tours of TX, NoCal, Northwest and midwest
- book locally
- help coordinate recording of 5th studio album

8. Rock band goals:
- work to increase visibility of band
- help coordinate recording of 1st album
- book locally and potentially regionally

9. Studio goals:
- develop word of mouth campaign to attract new clients

# 1 (Reduce my impact on the earth.) was not as successful as I’d hoped. I do remember to take my own bags to the grocery stores if I’m planning a shopping trip, but the impromptu trips after work were not as “green” as I’d hoped. I also did not lose any weight, but instead probably gained some.

I got very close to accomplishing goal # 2 (Read 20-25 books.) I read 19 books this year which I’m thrilled about. I finished both books I was reading (The Story of Edgar Sawtelle and The Almost Moon) on Monday and thought I could speed-read one more to make my goal but it’s not going to happen. Still, I loved this reading goal and it will make a return appearance for ‘09.

Goal # 3 (Get back to my poetry roots.) started out strong. I had some readings this year, I wrote some new work, and I was published a couple times. All of that in itself is really great and I’m proud of it, but I guess compared to my more prolific “early” years, I may have been a bit too far-reaching in this goal. I need to understand that my place in and my stamina for the poetry scene I once flourished in is a journey that’s come to a close. That is not to say my writing is finished or anything, but I just need to shape it into something else. Maybe it’s not about attending readings, maybe it’s about being published more and finding a new connection to other poets who are out there. I have some ideas about this one as well for ‘09. Stay tuned.

I think I did pretty good with goal # 4 (Better prepare for the holidays.) Throughout the year I kept a list of gift ideas and a wish list (sometimes they overlapped). I also completed a homemade poem-a-month calendar (limited edition) for my immediate family which had been a goal of mine in ‘07 that crashed & burned. The CD we did for our family and friends was also really fun and very well-received. My shopping was done by early December and I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I will admit that I never felt the Christmas spirit and I’m sad about that. That is not to say I was unhappy or ungrateful, but there is just something in the season that I usually always feel and this year it did not shine through. This was another good goal and I bet I can improve on it for ‘09.

# 5 (Take a couple trips.) was accomplished. I heart traveling and wish I had the disposable income to back it up as much as I would like. And although some of the trips we thought we’d take at the beginning of the year didn’t actually happen, the fates still played roles in taking me (and sometimes Han & DK) to some interesting locations. Places I went in 2008:

- Las Vegas (June)
- Julian (June)
- Mansfield, Missouri (July)
- Clinton, Iowa (October)
- Redding, CA (November)
- Chico, CA (November)
- San Francisco, CA (November)
- various trips to LA over the year

It looks like there will be Texas, at least, in 2009, and maybe (hopefully) more.

# 6 (Release “Best of Meeting Grace” volume 2) was accomplished and with it came the close of Meeting Grace itself, the house concert series I had started in 2000. I miss it in some ways, but don’t in a lot of others. The compilation CD is awesome and I’m so glad to have the memories that each performance brings.

The Acoustic Duo goals for # 7 were mostly accomplished. They toured in the midwest and NorCal and made appearances at conferences in Texas and Arizona that will help boost their schedule in ‘09. Their local bookings all were great and they are still at work on that 5th album. It will be a high priority in early ‘09.

The Rock Band goals for # 8 were general and thus more “easy.” They played regularly in town, but LA is still a tough nut to crack. They are also still in the process of recording that first album which will make ‘09 a year for release parties and hopefully some good press.

# 9’s studio goals was solitary as it is a work in progress. The name changed and a new website is in the works. Clients have been steady and should only continue as Han continues to produce amazing sounding records. All of the music business goals will remain in place with hopes to be more strategic and prepare sooner for 2010, especially with regard to the Acoustic Duo.

And that’s that. Of course, aside from the goals I set for myself, there were some other happenings (minor & major) of 2008 in my small world.

- we staged two large Acoustic Duo shows with 350+ at each (February & August)
- I volunteered as a community reader at an elementary school in Chula Vista (February)
- hosted last Meeting Grace show (March)
- we moved (April)
- Rob & Paulette’s wedding (April)
- new babies for Laurel & Lee (April), Devon & Anna (July) & Rob & Paulette (September)
- hosted a fundraiser benefit show for Eric Lowen of Lowen & Navarro who has ALS that raised over $2,000 (April)
- all the family (including Mia) visit (April)
- Junior Theatre performances with DK : Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (crew – May) and CATS (pit singer – November)
- meeting many of Han’s close friends from high school at a memorial for his friend Paul (May)
- Jonny & Cathryn’s wedding (June)
- Robert Plant & Allison Kraus concert (June)
- Jenny & Brad’s wedding (July)
- Han getting Amy Tan’s autograph for me (September)
- visiting Alcatraz and seeing Lucinda at the Fillmore (November)
- Disneyland twice while it’s decorated for the holidays, once with S, T, Han & DK and again with just Han (November & December)

And in the larger world we share, the economic fall-out has been the story of the year, but I’d rather focus on the jubilation of electing Barack Obama as the next president of the United States and look forward to 1-20-09 when he is inaugurated.

Finally, I can’t possibly sum up this year without speaking about the deaths of family and friends, acquaintances and others that all happened this year. As of today, the count is 11 as another soul left us yesterday. Julie was a close friend of DK’s mom and a very special person to DK herself having known her since she was a small girl. I had met Julie a couple times when we had gatherings for DK’s birthday in the past. May she rest in peace along with:

Paul Lowry
Craig Yerkes
“Papa” Herman Light
Brendan Moran
Dan Ely
Wanda Light
Scott Zensen
Lorna “Doone” Hamilton
Cindy’s mom
Dave “Smitty” Smith

This ended up being a very long post but hey, I’m re-capping a whole year! Here’s wishing you (and me!) a more prosperous, more health-filled, more life-affirming, more positive, more productive, more rockin’, more loving, more blissful new year and may it all start right away!

Although it’s no 2 below, winter is here in San Diego. There’s been a steady rain all day and chilly temps (for here, people! I know it’s still scores better than most places right now), probably down in the mid-40s. I somehow missed that this was supposed to happen today and my choice in footwear is not conducive to the puddles and overall wetness everywhere.
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In other news, I can’t say yet that I’m full of Christmas spirit. It just hasn’t hit me yet. But I want it to. Maybe if I can find a showing of “Love, Actually”… (I just did, it’s on USA on Christmas Eve at 6 am. I will set my DVR!) Maybe this weather will get me there, or finishing up my gift-wrapping tonight. I’m waiting…

5 – days ’til Christmas

75 – packages I mailed out today

9 - people Han and/or I know who have passed on this year (RIP: Paul, Craig, Dan, Scott, Lorna, Papa Herman, Wanda, Brendan, Smitty)

$1.56 – lowest price of gas I’ve seen in San Diego

37 – how old I turned on my last birthday

2 – poems I had published this year

2 – days Han & I spent at Disneyland last week (our Christmas present to each other)

401(k) – contribution will be matched by my employer in 2009

10 – shows on the DVR right now

3 – loads of laundry to do

24 – cookies I made last night

2 – books I’m currently reading

13 – days since my last post

7 – gifts left to wrap

98 – miles from my house to my parents’ house where we’ll be on Christmas Eve & part of Christmas day

160 – photos I have to download

2009 – year I can’t wait to get here

What the fuck is up with this year?  It’s becoming increasingly difficult to bounce back.  Today, news of another friend passing.  It seems impossible, right?  Lorna “Doone” Hamilton died in an ATV accident on Thanksgiving.  There is a wake for her this afternoon at the Casbah.  I knew her though not well.  She was a fan of Han’s Acoustic Duo and a friend to him.  She was known for her involvement with the scene during the Beat Farmers days and in keeping the memory alive of that group’s lead singer, Country Dick Montana, a true San Diego legend.

It was comforting in a way to read that she was happy and in a good place in her life, as evidenced by her last blog post on her myspace page written on 11/9:

Karma

Karma came around and took me out to lunch.
I have never been more inspired, more at peace, more in love.
I find myself smiling all the time. Finding the good in people, the good in me.
I have hope that tomorrow will be even better than today.
Life is beautiful.

Finding joy in every day…..

So, here it is.  Another message from the universe to make every day mean something.  And so my petty annoyances, my selfish grievances, with people in general seem ridiculous and a waste of time.  I put on my headphones to wash dishes and the song, “For a Dancer” was starting.  How fitting.  Another message from the universe.

For A Dancer
written by Jackson Browne
Keep a fire burning in your eye
Pay attention to the open sky
You never know what will be coming down
I don`t remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you`d always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you`re nowhere to be found

I don`t know what happens when people die
Can`t seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It`s like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can`t sing
I can`t help listening
And I can`t help feeling stupid standing `round
Crying as they ease you down
`Cause I know that you`d rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away
(Right on dancing)
No matter what fate chooses to play
(There`s nothing you can do about it anyway)

Just do the steps that you`ve been shown
By everyone you`ve ever known
Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another`s steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you`ll do alone

Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don`t let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you`ll never know 

Well, I can’t seem to embed the darn thing, so I’ll just try to link to it.

“Prop 8 – The Musical”

With NaBloPoMo wrapped up (I think I missed just a couple days), the question is whether the daily posting will continue.  I will say like I’ve always said.  I will try to post more regularly but I doubt it will be every day.

The final weekend of November and of the Thanksgiving holiday saw the return of the book club.  Barb had invited a couple new women so we are now back to a festive 6 which should engage in some great discussions.  The book that was selected is “The Story of Edgar Sawtelle” which I have yet to acquire.  It is hardcover and has been given the nod from Oprah so it’s impossible to find at any library.  I may have to bite the bullet and just buy this one.  I am told I won’t regret it.

Our holiday plans are coming together, which is nice.  Han & I will travel to see my parents on Christmas Eve.  My dad’s sisters and brother will also join us there.  It will be good to spend that time with them.  Last year was the first time I hadn’t spent the holiday with my family and it was a little sad for me, though I thoroughly enjoyed our trip to Florida and Georgia to see Han’s mom and her family.  Plus Jeff was able to see his grandpa and I know that meant a lot to him.

We will also be making a trip to Disneyland with DK.  That will most likely be our main “gift” to each other.  Two days in the Magic Kingdom will be awesome.

This week (Thursday) is my company’s holiday party.  Han is going with me this year.  It is still supposed to be formal, but with 2200 people there, I doubt they will be monitoring wardrobe at the door.  It’s one of those obligatory things you have to do when your employer asks it of you.  It’s certainly not my favorite thing.  The bonus though is that I will get Friday off, which I will not complain about.

Happy December!