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It’s my birthday.  As I sit here in the early morning, before anyone else is up, I contemplate the day.  It’s always awkward at work.  I haven’t specifically told my co-workers, though I know that at least a couple people know.  Do I want attention or do I want to just be left alone?  A little of both.  I usually take my birthday off from work to avoid this kind of thing, but I didn’t this year.

Last weekend I went up to my parents’ house to see them and also because my sister and nephew were in town.  On Saturday, my dad & I had a heart-to-heart in the kitchen while the ladies got ready to go to lunch.  It simultaneously breaks my heart and fills it up to know how much both he and my mom love me and want me to be okay. I want it, too.  I realize now that I have always skirted depression, but in earlier years, I chalked it up to artistic melancholy.  It never lasted very long because I was able to bounce back pretty well.  This time it’s just taking a bit longer to bounce back.   It’s a very frustrating place to be when your rational and logical mind knows exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to not feel this way but the rest of you just doesn’t want to cooperate.  I don’t know how better to explain it.  I can tell myself over and over again that in order to feel better I have to do A, B, and C.  It’s a completely different thing to actually do those things.

My mom, sister & I went to Lizarran in Fullerton for tapas which were served up by a Mexican named Raoul.  The food was good for the most part, the best being the bread with tomato and garlic.  The simplest dish was the tastiest and most satisfying.  Now if that’s not a recipe for a life lesson…

After lunch, we came home and each of us drifted off to different things.  Coming together to talk or going off to read or nap.  It was all acceptable.  That’s one reason I love coming home.  I can do absolutely whatever feels right and it’s okay.  I tend to always want to rest or nap when I’m there.

For dinner, I exerted my authority as the early birthday girl and chose to go to El Cholo for some delicious Mexican food.  The service was great and the food was fantastic.  We told them it was my birthday so they came around to clap and sing while I wore a gigantic sombrero.  I also got a free flan that my mom & I shared.  It was tasty.

We were all stuffed so after the requisite photos in front of the restaurant, we headed home.  The rest of the night was TV watching and chatting, reading and falling asleep on various pieces of furniture.

On Sunday morning, we all roused naturally and Dad made chocolate chip waffles plus eggs and potatoes.  So good.  At one point, I went outside to the back yard by myself.  It was a gorgeous morning and the sun was shining brightly.  There was a moment as I stood looking at the garden when things seemed absolutely right.  And more than that, I had a feeling that everything was going to be just fine.  Perhaps a moment of clarity, but I remember feeling completely at peace.  Maybe it was a flash of deja vu, or some kind of time warp of when I lived there in high school and all my adult life lay ahead of me and was full of possibility.  I felt that same kind of easy anticipation, of not knowing what’s to come but knowing it will all work out.

Not long after breakfast, it was time to head back to San Diego by way of the grocery store.  Han was also heading back from Las Vegas around the same time I was leaving.  The drive home was easy, uneventful and we had a nice night.

It was great to be with my family over the weekend.  Sandy is looking amazing as she continues her weight loss journey.  My dad has also joined WW and I wish him great success.  My mom is a sweet soul who only wants the best for me.  Tristan is growing up well.   We’ll see them all again at Christmas (maybe Mom & Dad sooner but I’m not sure).

Now it’s time to get to the day. Tonight the Rock Band is playing at the Belly-Up and I hope some of our friends come out for that and for my birthday.  Here’s hoping for a great day!

 

for the Bard

April 23rd is widely agreed to be the birthday of Shakespeare.  There is also some speculation (romantically so) that it was also the day he died.  The influence of Shakespeare is vast and quite remarkable.  For today (this evening’s) poem, one of my favorite sonnets of his, #29.

Sonnet XXIX
by William Shakespeare

When, in disgrace with Fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one  more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love rememb’red such wealth brings,
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

- from The Sonnets – Poems of Love

 

Happy birthday, Dad

Today is my father’s birthday, and I knew when I started this poem-a-day fun that this poem would definitely be the one for today.  It was kind of happy luck when I re-discovered the Patricia Smith poem that was posted yesterday that helped to inspire this piece.  After I saw her perform “Sweet Daddy”, where she shared lots of personal details about the relationship she had with her father, I went home and wrote this piece for my dad to celebrate his birthday.  I remember that the family got together in Las Vegas for the occasion, something we did for a couple years for a while.  I read it out loud as we all hung out and it was a lovely moment that I like to think on.  Happy birthday, Daddy-O!

Patricia Said…
by Lizzie Wann

(a birthday poem for my father)

Patricia said her daddy read her newspaper stories at bedtime
so she became a reporter.

You took me on interstate trips, skirting company policy of no passengers
& I have become this.

Patricia said in half-dark, she would stand on her father’s feet & they danced in the kitchen.

We have done this too.

Patricia said he taught her how to make hot water cornbread.

You also have cooked for me, chocolate chip waffles for breakfast at noon on Sundays
& I used to sit on the ice cream maker as you hand-cranked it.
I stared at enormous salt crystals that spilled out as you added them to the brew
on hot August afternoons in that dry Snake River hometown of mine.

Patricia said he is dead now, taken by a bullet in a robbery.
She grew into his legacy for language.

You are alive and a year older
and have no bones to pick with me.

Patricia said she whispered against his cheek about a boy’s first kiss in their
hot skillet cornbread kitchen.

You have never inquired about boys, or men for that matter.

But in that silence of griddle ready for batter
& ice cream almost perfect
& the feel of your work boots that I helped unlace under my own child feet
hand in hand, we stepped in a dance.

And I say, Patricia, we girls own the purest love and know the best dancers.

 

where I’ve been

What was I saying before about the passage of time?  James Taylor sang that the “secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”  I’m not sure about that, but I’m definitely a master of letting time slip by seemingly unnoticed!  So here’s a re-cap, broken up by subject so you can pick & choose what you’d like to learn about

Han’s Birthday
Han’s birthday was a great success.  In part because of the chocolate peanut butter cake I made from scratch.  Goodness!  I got the recipe here, and all her tips were much appreciated!  During the day, we went down to a club and did a photo shoot for the Rock Band’s album.  It was a fun time and we’re looking forward to seeing the results.  In the evening, we had some friends over at the house for a pre-party kind of thing before heading down to Ocean Beach to hear our friends, Deadline Friday, rock out Winston’s.  They even had Han up on stage on a song.  He got shots of Patron all night from friends and it was just a good time all around.  

Books
On the 8th, I went to book club and opinions were mixed on “Away.”  Now we’re reading “Missing Mom” and I’m not loving it. But I’m sticking with it.  I’m also reading “Water for Elephants” and already finished book 2 in the Harry Potter series.

Rubbing Elbows with…
On Tuesday, 3/10, I got to meet a couple people who are simply remarkable musicians: David Rawlings and Gillian Welch. I’ve been listening to their music for years.  Han and the various groups he plays with cover her songs.  They are responsible for much of the sounds that make up Ryan Adams’ ”Heartbreaker” album, one of my favorites of all-time.  Turns out our friend, Matt, went to high school with Dave and they’ve recently re-connected.  In fact, back in January he took Han up to LA with him to hang out with him.  So Han came home with these amazing stories of people he met and music that was played.  Serious wow.  So, Dave & Gillian are playing the Belly-Up as the Dave Rawlings Machine, and they’re fabulous.  They did his songs for the most part, none of which I knew, but they threw in some covers like “It Ain’t Me Babe” that were just awesome.  Then, they invited their friends, Sean & Sara Watkins to join them.  Those two got huge as part of Nickel Creek.  The 4 of them played some great tunes and it was a great night of music.  So afterward, we hung out.  We were there with Matt & his girlfriend, and some of our other friends who are big fans of this music.  Dave & Gillian both remembered Han and hugged him when they saw him. Then they were introduced to the rest of us and we spent probably a good 30 minutes talking and hanging out.  Very cool. 

Which leads me to Sunday, 3/15.  I had decided to make my way up to LA (Tarzana to be exact) to attend a reading that featured my friend, Mindy Nettifee.  Mindy & I were on the Laguna Beach slam team together way back in ‘99 and I adore her.  I have not seen her nearly enough in these last years and I thought this would be a great opportunity.  I threw the option out there to my folks to join me if they wanted to and my dad took me up on it.  He even offered to drive his super cool SSR.  Awesome.  I drove up to their house, then he & I took off for the reading, after I grabbed some lunch with my mom.  On the way up we talked about all kinds of stuff and I relayed the story above about going to the show and meeting Gillian.  He had heard of her from me, but was also familiar somewhat with her work on “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”  I was so glad he drove, I knew I would have been super tired if I’d driven that whole way.  So we get there and walk into the Tarzana Community Cultural Center and I kid you not, Gillian Welch and Sara Watkins are standing there!  I couldn’t believe it!  Sara was plucking away at a little guitar with a couple people standing around her and Gillian was among them.  I went up to her and said hello and asked if she remembered me from the show the other night.  She said yes and shook my hand (I think she’s incredibly adorable and very striking in person).  She said she was tagging along with Sara for the day and that’s why she was there, and I explained why I was there, certain I was being the biggest dork ever. 

I signed up for the open reading (spot # 2), then my dad & I got some seats in the back row.  It was pretty crowded.  I was observing mostly, seeing a couple other poets I knew from my more prolific performing days.  Soon, the event started and it was kicked off by Sara singing a song, then she had Gillian join her, and they did a couple more songs, including one that I recognized from the show on Tuesday.  Gillian just played guitar and did some backing vocals. When they were finished, it was time for the features.  And just as Mindy was taking the “stage”, Gillian moved in to sit in the seat next to mine!  She didn’t say anything and it was the only seat left in the place, but still!  I found it hard to give Mindy my full attention because I was hyper-alert as to Gillian’s reactions to what she was hearing.  I wanted her to “get” Mindy, and Mindy made it very easy to do.  She’s great, with a very distinct delivery style and content.  I admire her ballsiness about so much and of course, that she’s been able to sustain herself with writing.  After her set, the next feature, Eloise Klein-Healy got up to perform.  She is probably in her late 50s or 60s and quite a character.  I enjoyed her reading very much.  All the while, I noticed small things about Gillian: her fair skin, her funky cowboy boots, the shifting of her weight, her throaty, sincere laughter, her intent ear.  She embodies a coolness that I want to bottle.

As Eloise finished up and they announced the break, I worked up my nerve to ask Gillian if she was staying for the open reading.  She said she didn’t know and that she’d have to check with her ride and pointed toward Sara.  I said something like, “Well, I’m reading…” as if that would hopefully sway the decision.  Big dork.  At the break, I was able to catch up with Mindy as well as say hello to my other friends, Rick Lupert & Brendan Constantine.  Mindy & I went outside to get some air, she’s adorable and it was great to see her. She said she’d be interested in coming down to San Diego if I put a show or something together.  That’s good inspiration!

We headed back inside and I quickly saw that Sara & Gillian were still there.  And actually, Mindy started talking with them as the MC read my name as the first person to read (I had signed up for spot # 2, but no one had signed up for #1).  So I made my way to the mic slowly, hoping they would stop talking and listen.  I began my first poem (Two Beer Buzz) and could still hear their voices in the other room.  Then, about midway through, I saw Mindy sit down and Gillian lean up against the door with her head down, a gesture I’d noticed when she was sitting next to me that made me understand she was listening.  I tried to keep cool, but as I was speaking out loud and trying to “perform” all I could think was ‘Gillian Welch is listening to me read a poem!!’   I am a dork.   My writing of this, I realize, makes me sound a bit obsessed, but I wouldn’t say that.  More fascinated than anything.  Here was someone who I’ve always thought I could/would get along with if we ever met, and then there it is!  I felt somewhat desperate to leap over this first/second meeting awkwardness and get to the being friends part, to know each other.  But, that’s not how it works!

So I read my second poem (When You Go) and felt more in control.  There was the added bit of nerves to be reading in front of these LA poets who know their shit, and who I admire.  But the reception I got was favorable and I was pleased overall.  After a few more readers, the event was over and folks were making their way out.  I made sure to get to Mindy, but then also said goodbye to Gillian (I even called her ‘Gil’) who answered with a ‘good to hear you.’  Very cool.  Even cooler?  Mindy gave me a copy of her book Sleepyhead Assassins.  Sweet! 

Dad & I drove back to his house, and I stayed only a bit and then got back on the road.  And to cap off the great day, it was time for “The Seventh Day” on KLOS (95.5), a program where three albums are played cover to cover, old school style, taking a break after side one.  And on the docket that day was all U2.  So I drove back to San Diego listening to every word of “The Joshua Tree,” another of my all-time favorites.  Quite a successful day!

Weekly Tidbits
The next week included St. Patrick’s Day which saw DK & I head over to Matt & Joey’s house for a small get-together.  Han didn’t join us as he’s working on the Acoustic Duo album.

On Wednesday, we all went to get Han’s birthday present: an iPhone!  He loves it and is finding new apps to use every day.  It’s great, too, for practical reasons.  He can use it in the studio since his equipment is all Mac stuff and he can sync it up and do all kinds of cool things that will assist him with his work. 

On Friday night, Rock Band played a gig at the grand opening of Frankie the Bull’s BBQ restaurant. Frankie the Bull was on the 2nd season of Top Chef.  It was a fun night and the folks seemed to like ‘em.  Hopefully it will turn into some more gigs!

Visit from Mom & Dad & a show
On Saturday, my mom & dad came down to visit and we went out to lunch at a neighborhood restaurant, the Bay Park Fish Co. I thought it was pretty good.  Then we brought back Extraordinary Desserts (where we also ran into Barb & Rosa from my book club!)  It was a very nice visit.  The folks left around 4ish and then I lounged.  I think I overloaded on sugar and my body was not pleased with me.  So I just took it easy until it was time to head out for the Acoustic Duo show.  Once there, I still wasn’t feeling great, but I rallied and it was fine.  The show went well.  With the downturn in the economy, fewer people are coming out to shows, but the crowd was great and the guys had a good time playing some brand new songs for the good people.

Kitchen Capers
An update on some of the culinary treats I’ve created lately… 
- steak salad
- fiery “fried” chicken
- Swedish meatballs
- cheese enchiladas
- breaded pork
- shrimp quesadillas
Yum!

Looking forward to:
- Acoustic Duo heading to LA to master their record, coordinating the effort to get said record off to manufacturing!
- Rock Band playing two gigs on Saturday (IndieFest and Cheers in Ramona)!
- preparing for the opening of the next incarnation of Java Joe’s!
- more kitchen experiments!
- National Poetry Month!
- baseball!

Some Fantastic “Mommy Blogs”
Although I have never given birth, have never dreamed of it, and have no plans to do so,  I have been captivated by the stories I’ve read on some of my favorite blogs about their journeys into and of motherhood.  Whether it’s the irreverent dooce describing her 2nd pregnancy just as her new book is released (written about the experience the first time around), the lovely Boho Girl discovering a boundless love with her adopted son, the sassy Schmoopy reaping the quiet happy moments with her little darling daughter, or my own sister detailing her life as a working mom of a great 11 year old boy, these women are inspirations simply in putting their words out there.  But more than anyone, Christina has written some of the most beautiful posts about her experience in these days (a month now!) since her 2nd child was born.  I’ve been a fan of her writing in general since I discovered her blog, but there is an extra edge, an extra vibrancy to these “Sprout” posts that are truly remarkable.  Thank you, ladies!

Hope to write again sooner than later!  Thanks for your attention if you made it all the way to the end!

 

birthday eve

Happy day before your birthday, Han!

Keeping a blog can sure remind you of the passage of time.  Lots of other things, too, but when you come back here and you realize your last post was February 12th, you just can’t believe it.  And I was going along so well with my every other day routine.  And I was writing some good stuff (I thought).

I wish I could tell you that after that last post, I had rushed to my desk and written 5 new amazing poems.  But that didn’t happen. So what have I been doing since February 12th?

In two words, cooking & reading.  There’s been other stuff in between, but those are the two things that first come to mind. When Han & I were first living together, he was repeatedly astonished at my lack of culinary skill.  That’s not to say he expected me to be in the kitchen to make sure his supper was ready on time, but in my single days, I just didn’t really cook much.  It was a lot of pasta and real simple stuff.  Stuff that he didn’t love.  He loves to cook but doesn’t have a lot of time for it.  Since we’ve moved in to this house (almost a year ago already!), I’ve made it a goal of mine to take on a lot more of the cooking and meal planning.  With DK a vegetarian again, that throws a curve into it all, too, but it all seems to be going okay.  I rely heavily on the internet, but Han recently had the idea to ask our family and friends to give us 5 recipes each.  So, there it is: if you’re reading this, please send me 5 of your favorite recipes, or recipes from your homeland (Mom, Mia) so we can expand our evening meals.  That said, our friend, John (of the gumbo-making) is in the kitchen right now making his sweet & smothered pork chops.  He told us that he didn’t have recipes written down but that he’d come over and make it and tell us what he was doing as he went along.   Yum.

Here’s a short list of some of the more interesting things I’ve made over the last 3 weeks:
- chicken stroganoff
- cashew chicken
- shrimp burritos
- chicken parmesan
- fish vera cruz

Tomorrow I plan to bake a cake for Han.  A chocolate peanut butter cake.  From scratch.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

On the reading front, I finished two books and will probably finish my other two by Sunday. [I've been keeping my Books page updated.] I try to read every spare minute, even when I’m waiting at traffic lights!  I’ve found it quite easy to keep up with all of the different stories.  This Sunday is my book club meeting (to discuss Away) and we’ll select a new book.  I’ll probably pick up a couple additional ones, too.  I’m loving the library!!

What else?  Han’s Acoustic Duo played a Valentine’s Day house concert, which went very well.   I had a day off for President’s Day.  I was part of a reading to celebrate the publication of an anthology I’m published in (more on that in another post to come).  And my parents celebrated their 44th wedding anniversary!

Speaking of parent, on the 21st, I drove up to LA to and spent the night at my folks house while my sister, her husband and her son were there for the day before they got on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera the next day.  We had a really great time.  We went out to lunch (MT & I had sushi), then my mom, sister & I went to see “He’s Just Not That Into You” (not bad).  I hadn’t planned to spend the night, but they applied heavy family pressure (not usual!) and we were having a great time, so I stayed.  We had In ‘n’ Out for dinner, then Red, Mom & I played Scrabble.  For the first time in quite a while, my mom did not win.  Red won the first game (with really awesome words!) and I somehow managed to win the second game.   In the morning, Dad made chocolate chip waffles (nostalgic!), eggs, bacon and sausage.  We hung out a bit and then I hit the road.  A very awesome visit!

That Sunday was the Oscars and Han & I watched them.  We thought they were great, including Hugh Jackman.  I read some blogs on the Monday following the show that just panned them, but I thought they were lovely.  Hooray for Kate Winslet.  I’d like to drink a pint with her.

From there, it was your basic week, except it was Marcia’s birthday! She was playing a gig with Barbara downtown so we went down to help her celebrate.  Before we arrived though, we made a stop at another place, which I can’t name yet, as it’s not opened.  But it’s the return of an establishment where I spent many many hours and where I met many of the people currently in my life.  The new location is downtown and the owners were working on some demolition to prepare for the opening (they’re shooting for early April).  They even let me do some demo of my own.  It was curiously satisfying to put a hammer through some drywall and do some damage!   After that, we made it to the bar, where we ended up hanging out for a long time.  Han actually sat in with Barbara & her band so it’s not like I could just leave (and not that I wanted to!).  It was a fun evening.  The night after that (the 27th for those keeping track), Han’s Rock Band had a gig which is always a good time.   

And then it was March!  This week marked the official start of the recording for the Acoustic Duo’s next album.  It will be a quick project, they have a mastering date set for the end of the month.  We want to have them ready for a festival they’re on in May in Texas.  I’m really looking forward to the record and all the hoopla that goes with it. 

Also, the Rock Band’s record is also progressing now.  Han is laying down his vocal tracks this week (sandwiched in between his various other projects).  Both these records will be coming out around the same time which should be interesting promotion-wise.  We’ll have to plan our attacks strategically so we don’t cannibalize the projects and the relatively limited availability of promoting avenues.

What else?  Han’s birthday is tomorrow!  The day is starting with a Rock Band photo shoot for the record.  I’ll make the cake and probably some other food.  We’ll have some people over then head to OB to catch our friends playing down at Winston’s.  Later that week, we’ll head to the Belly-Up to catch David Rawlings Machine (and Gillian will be there, too).  I plan to drive up to Tarzana the weekend after to see my old friend, Mindy, at a reading.  My nephew’s birthday is coming up too so I gotta get something in the mail for him.  A few Rock Band gigs.  An Acoustic Duo gig. And then I’m looking at April.  Somewhere in there, I have to also prepare my taxes (easy) and work on the ones for Han and his multiple businesses (hard), schedule my spa session, ship some stuff, set up my external hard drive, catch up on my Late Night with Jimmy Fallon shows as well as the U2 performances on Letterman, upload my photos to flickr, and of course, cook and read

 

the zen of Space Mountain

I missed a day! But it’s all good. 

Thursday evening, me, Han & DK drove up to LA to my folks’ house where my sister had arrived to retrieve her boy who has been here with the g’parents since early November. We hung out a bit then, Han & I went to our hotel and DK got to stay at the house.  The plan was to meet at Disneyland at 9 am to get going on the joy.

I was still pretty tired from my birthday night, which was really fun. My little tribe all came out and the music was exceptional.  I even got up and performed my part on the Cathryn Beeks Ordeal song “Rescue Me.”  It was a rush and really fun to perform in front of such an inviting crowd and knowing I was among people who care about me.  I maintained through the night, remembering to drink water between drinks.  My drink of choice was vodka/cranberry and they were tasty : )  But when the show lasts ’til 1 am and then you do the requisite curbside hangout after the gig, it means you don’t go to sleep until 3 or so.  And I had to work the next day.  I was draggin’ but managed to get a lot done.

So now it’s Friday morning, and the plan, as I mentioned was to meet at 9 am.  Well, my alarm does not go off and I wake up and see that it’s 8:22 am. Panic ensues.  It doesn’t matter your destination, when you don’t wake up on time, your day is already a bit skewed.  S, T & DK were already at the park when I called at 8:25am, just getting to the parking lot.  So Han & I rushed to get there and met up with them by 9:30 or so. Okay, crisis over, but not the start we wanted.

But then, something great happened. We got on Pirates in less than 5 minutes, and then did the same thing on Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain.  It was awesome!  We expected it to be insanely crowded because it was the start of their holiday decor and special shows etc.  But it stayed like that most of the day.  ToonTown is where we waited the longest, and frankly, I could have easily skipped that part, but the kids were into it so that was cool.

Then there was some downtime, for me at least.  They rode Matterhorn (too bumpy for me), then the kids did Autopia and then S & T did the submarine.  DK did rockets & S & T did the Astro Blasters. I was just waiting for Space Mountain.  I think Haunted Mansion is my favorite because it’s the one I buy into the most every single time.  And now that it’s decorated as “Nightmare Before Christmas,” it’s even cooler.  But Space Mountain is spectacular.  It’s been improved over the years and now the music, lights and build-up really make it awesome.  When I ride the other coasters, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, California Screamin (in CA Adventure), I scream and love the wind whipping past me.  But I noticed that on Space Mountain, I don’t scream.  Maybe a little flutter here or there but not like the others.  It’s dark and cool and the speed is almost soothing.  I keep my eyes open and my arms up and let it take me through its curves and twists.  It’s relaxing and thrilling at the same time.  It was exactly what I needed.

From there, we went to Fantasyland where S & T rode Dumbo while Han, DK & I rode the Snow White & Pinochio rides.  When it’s not as crowded like it was yesterday, I am so much more interested in the details.  Every single thing in the whole park has a purpose, whether it’s to contribute to the magic or to just be aesthetically pleasing.  Now that we have annual passes again, I’d love to use one visit at least to just focus on those little things and the art that may often be overlooked.  Like the water fountain right inside the castle that has a bronze miniature statue of Sleeping Beauty and the Prince dancing.  Lovely.

Then it was time for Han & I to leave the group and head to his gig with the Acoustic Duo. Through no fault of our own but attributing it all to being outside the Magic Kingdom and back in the ‘real world’, things did not go smoothly.  We couldn’t find coffee, traffic was really heavy around the resort area and we didn’t have time to get anything to eat.  Once we left for the gig, about 1/2 an hour later than we had planned, we were greeted by bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway we had to take.  What should have been a 30 minute drive ended up being a 75-80 minute drive.  And it wasn’t just that.  It was that there was no reason.  We never saw an accident or any other kind of reason for the hold-up.  And it was the kind of drive where when you changed lanes to get into the one that was moving, it immediately stopped and the lane you’d been in starts flowing.  It made for a frustrating drive not to mention the added anxiety of knowing we would be late.

But…once we got there (C was already there), it was fine.  The opener had also been in traffic and was just getting her sound check.  We unloaded, set up and had time to spare before they opened doors. The show itself was great.  The people (in the audience and at the venue) just loved ‘em.  We’ll be able to go back and play there again and hopefully start to build up a good following there.  The venue itself is really cool.  It’s an old music store and world art & artifiact museum. Lots of cool African masks, old drums and various other stuff.  I took photos of the luthier work area in the back and some of the masks and old bells and stuff that were around.

The drive back to Anaheim was way easier.  We got some fast food and watched TV until we fell asleep.

This morning, I drove back to my folks’ place to see my sister & T off.  We decided to let DK sleep in.  They ended up staying at the park ’til about 11:30 pm and they were exhausted.  So she’s asleep, my folks took S & T to the airport.  I’ll be here when they get back then DK & I will head back to the hotel to collect Han and then head back to San Diego.

My goals for the weekend are to organize myself, clean the house and do some music business work that I need to catch up on. 

And when I start to feel anxious about something, I’ll do my best to remember that feeling of closing my eyes just for a moment and taking a deep breath as the countdown begins (5, 4, 3, 2…) and Space Mountain unleashes its sleek speed and I drink in the controlled recklessness.

 

it’s my birthday!

So far it’s been good.  I received a lovely bouquet of flowers from my aunt Mia in Sweden, thanks, Mia!  I also got a bottle of wine from a co-worker, spoke to my sister, parents, Heather and received some other kind message from other friends. 

Tonight is a birthday show in my honor, so to speak, featuring many of my friends who are all amazing talents.  It’s almost time to leave for that so I’ll see you on the other side of it all!  Here’s to a better year!

 

home again, home again

Rolled into town by 5 pm or so.  Han did well managing the traffic on the way down, considering we were pretty darn tired from the night before.

We had just a couple hours to relax before some friends came over with dinner. One of our Australian friends was in town and is leaving tomorrow so this was our only chance to see him.  Marcia & her daughter accompanied him.  It was nice to have some good friends and be able to relax and laugh.  They left around 9 pm and then I did some work to reconcile the tour.  Hooray for making a profit!

The Lucinda show last night was great.  The Fillmore is spectacular in its intimacy, not to mention its collection of photography.  There were several pictures of Janis and I was a bit overcome at first to consider that she had performed on that very stage.  Way cool.  Lu put on a good show thankfully.  She played many of my favorites which was a pleasant surprise. I quietly enjoyed the music and drank a few beers.  After the show, we went ‘upstairs’ to hang out with our friend who’s in the band and ended up chatting with the bass player, too, who was a cool guy.

My birthday starts in 21 minutes so I want to get to sleep before that so I can wake up in a new year for myself

 

my first pomegranate & other tidbits

When I was home at my parents’ a couple weeks ago, my mom showed me how to open a pomegranate.  I couldn’t recall that I had ever seen one open before or tasted the fresh fruit.  I loved it!

So when I saw the pom display at my grocery store last week, I picked one up.  It has sat in my refrigerator until today.

I cut off the top, then scored it into four or five sections. Over a bowl of water, I began to release the “arils” from the fruit.  I loved how methodical the process was, and how satisfying it was to break open the fruit, pick out each juicy bit.  Thankfully, there wasn’t too much juice so it didn’t look like a murder scene in the kitchen. 

After going through each piece of the pomegranate, I scooped out the white membrane from the water, then strained the arils from the water.  Now there is good amount of them to snack on for the next couple days.  Yum!
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I finished Bread Alone. I liked it and will seek out its sequel, The Baker’s Apprentice.  I was surprised but happy to see in her acknowledgements that one of her writing partners as she prepared the book was Amy Wallen, a fiction writer I know here in San Diego.  What a small world!

Now I’ll give my full attention to Bel Canto and perhaps stop by the library to get something else to put in the queue.  I mean, I read Bread Alone in 6 days!  That’s really good for me these days.
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The weather today is blustery.  Windy and cool, threats of rain all day but nothing yet. I missed the last show of CATS this afternoon.  I’m sorry to have missed it but it just worked out that way.  Tonight we have some friends coming over to hang out and also to work with Han in the studio.  I did some grocery shopping and laundry.  Typical Sunday stuff.
~~

We’ll be leaving Thursday night to drive up to northern California for some Acoustic Duo shows, then a bonus night to see Lucinda Williams at the historic Fillmore in San Francisco.  Then home, then my birthday, then another day, then Disneyland with family and then the week after that, Thanksgiving.  It’s going to be a crazy time in the next couple weeks which may inhibit my NaBloPoMo activity but I’ll do my best.  Happy Sunday!  Han & I have been at odds and it was just better for us (or maybe just me) to bow out.

 

April showers

This morning on the way into work, it sprinkled a little. When I looked to my left, I saw a full rainbow arcing over the Miramar air field. I had to smile.

Hello again. I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. It’s been so long that WordPress went and changed their interface so I’m trying to figure out where everything is again.

I’ve missed writing here, but sometimes life just gets in the way! So much has transpired and instead of a long potentially boring post, I’d rather just touch on a few significant things that happened. Another redux if you will. The other day, I even jotted down some notes so I would have a guideline, as opposed to random rambling. So, in no particular order, the things that have taken my attention, distracted me from writing here:

- the wild splashes of color on the hillsides and along the freeways
I love spring in San Diego, if I were any kind of photographer, I would share photos of these bursts of color with you here

- moving
Although the official move was March 30th, the whole month was centered around that event. Packing, purging, figuring out finances (moving is always more expensive than you think it will be), exhaustion, grief, the promise of a new start.
In our new place the other night, we contemplated how we felt. I was surprised when Han said he missed the old house and its funkiness. Me? I straddle the dichotomy. I certainly miss the charm and old style of that old Craftsman, but there is a part of me that relishes this new space. Its bright & open spaces, making it ours from the ground up. And the one thing I LOVE is all the light it gets. Plus we are closer to the ocean now and all seems right.

- Baseball is back
I love that baseball is back in action. I can look forward nearly every night to catching the game on our HD television or listening to it on the AM dial. It’s a true pleasure. Go Padres!

- Steve Earle & Allison Moorer at the Belly-Up
I bought tickets to this show for Han for his birthday. The show was on Easter Sunday. I am a huge fan of Steve Earle and have followed his career since I was in college. I’ve seen him numerous times in a variety of venues. His sister has played at my house concert series. His songs are amazing. His politics are right on for me and I just think he’s great. This show, his wife, Allison Moorer, joined him. She opened the show and then came out and sang with him on a few songs. It was just him, no band (though they rock!). The only other accompaniment he had was a DJ who put down some beats. It was okay, but I didn’t love it. He’s much better on his own. He opened with some of his classic tunes (“Goodbye”, “Someday”, “The Devil’s Right Hand”, “Billy Austin”). Then he did several from his new album. It was a great show. At the end of the evening, he came back for an encore and told an incredibly poignant story about the men of his family. How he missed out on most of both of his sons’ lives and how his own father would drive 1000 miles just to see him perform. He went on to say that he’d lost his father around Christmas and that he and his sons had just gone out for steak dinners to celebrate their birthdays. It was such a moving story. I couldn’t help but weep. For his loss, for his life, for my own father and his support of everything I’ve ever done. Then he played “Little Rock ‘n’ Roller”, a song he’d written for one of his sons, who he rarely saw because he was on the road. It was a really incredible moment.

- return of Java Joe’s at the Handlery
Java Joe’s, first in Poway, then in Ocean Beach, was an acoustic music mecca. Its existence helped facilitate my meeting almost every person I love the most in this world, especially Han. When he closed his last place, a bar in the college area, it was a sad time. But then, this little hotel lounge got the idea to have live music. And Han got the idea to hook them up with Java Joe and so it goes. Java Joe hosted an evening of music at the Handlery Lounge with about 25 artists doing 2 songs each. It was the return of Java Joe’s and it was great. It works perfectly for Joe because he doesn’t have to worry about the business side of things, just the music side which is what he always loved in the first place.

- Han’s birthday
Birthdays are always tricky. He wants the attention, but wants it to come unbidden. He doesn’t want to be involved in the planning but he wants to know that something is being planned. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? On top of it all, he wasn’t feeling very well, so I had to make sure we didn’t do anything to crazy. So I planned a gathering of our good friends at a great sushi place in PB. I got the tickets to the concert as I mentioned and then the other gift was a group effort. I asked a bunch of friends to send their thoughts, stories, photos, well wishes to Han. I compiled them and put them all in a binder. It went over very well. Who wouldn’t love a whole book full of stories saying how great you are?

- Laurel’s baby shower
One of the people I adore who I met at the aforementioned Java Joe’s many years ago. She’s expecting her first baby next month and her mom hosted a baby shower for her. We don’t see each other too often anymore, but it doesn’t matter. We’ve shared a lot over the years, been there for each other’s ups and downs, she was even my roommate for a while. As a rule, I hate baby showers, but this one was fine and I wouldn’t have missed it.

- T’s birthday
My nephew turned 10 years old in March. He lives in SLC so I don’t get to see him very often. He’s coming to visit with his mom in a couple weeks and I can’t wait to see them both. He’s a good boy, avid reader with a vivid imagination. He likes sports and music. Although we’re not super close, I’ve enjoyed seeing how his personality has developed and am proud to be his aunt.

- last house concert
With moving came the last house concert for my series, Meeting Grace. I invited a bunch of San Diego singer-songwriters (most of whom I met at Java Joe’s!) and those who could make it showed up to play a few songs. The main act was Berkley Hart and the night was dubbed Berkley Hart & Friends. That whole day was pretty hectic and I barely had a minute to let myself ponder what was really happening until I got up to speak at the beginning of the evening. I lost it, started crying in front of all the lovely people. They understood. Toward the end of the evening, I was sitting outside by myself, on the side porch so I could still hear the music. Berkley Hart ended the whole thing with “This Land is Your Land” and I cried again, this time more robustly, for the house, for the house concert, for the music that has filled my life for the last 8 years, for all the people who had called that house home over the years, for all the people who had joined me for the house concerts and who helped make it such a success. I needed to do that and it felt great.

- my reading at Rebecca’s
On March 18th, I was the featured reader at Poetic Brew which takes place at Rebecca’s in South Park. I can’t quite explain the absolute rush and simultaneous comfort I felt by being on stage and performing again. I was really in the zone that night. It was wonderful to have some good friends in the audience as well as Han & DK. There were other poets there from back when I first started, the people who initially encouraged me to keep at it. They still are and it’s immeasurable to have their support.
When I was unpacking, I was working on a box of books. I keep separate the books I have been published in and I was filled with the desire to really go for it again, be it publishing or reading out. I think in this new space, I can forge a new habit that will build on this rekindled fire.

- the Garbette wedding
“Garbette” is the combination of our two friends’ names, a la “Brangelina”. Their wedding was last Saturday and although we didn’t get a chance to stay for the whole reception, the ceremony was lovely, all of our friends in attendance, to celebrate the union of a fine couple. These two have been together a while and she is expecting their first baby later this year. The wedding made it all “official” but everyone already knew they were a match. Still, it was a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

- Eric Lowen Trust Benefit concert
In all of my in-between time, I’ve been planning this benefit show that’s happening this Saturday night. It’s for a musician named Eric Lowen who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 4 years ago. It’s been heartbreaking to see his deterioration over time, but his spirit & character have only gotten stronger. My house concert series and another one here in town are co-presenting Berkley Hart & Joel Rafael. All proceeds are going to Eric’s trust that is helping to pay his medical bills and support his family. I’m sad to say that I have not had many pre-sale tickets and absolutely no press coverage. I’m hoping that people choose to come to the show and pay at the door. We’ll see how it goes.

That’s a good re-cap of what’s been happening since we last met. Still on the horizon:

- taxes: doing them this weekend, ick
- a visit from my aunt Mia from Sweden, plus my sister & T and my parents
- book club coming up on Sunday. We’ll discuss “The Thirteenth Tale” which I finished last week. At that, I’ll get to see Heather who’s birthday was last Sunday.
- label showcases for both the bands I work with
- DK starts up with crewing again for the next JT production
- a reading to celebrate the publication of this year’s San Diego Poetry Annual
- a road trip out to Joshua Tree for a show
- Han setting up shop in the new place
- finalizing the house and getting rid of the remaining boxes
- maybe attend a baseball game or two?

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I promise not to take so long until the next post