haunted # 18

Your Ghost
written & performed by: Steve Poltz
for John Lentz

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

And i can’t explain it there’s so much i could say to you
And so much is left unsaid and there’s nothing i can do
Nothing i can do yeah

I played your song last night and drank down my last beer
Skyway by westerberg but you weren’t there to hear
And i thought i saw an angel with you in the back
But when they turned the light down everything went black

And i thought of your mum and dad in you hometown
And your lovely sister and it slowly brought me down
Only brought me down yeah
I’d think of your sweet smile and how perfectly it fit
To you the world was a cookie jar and you had your hands in it

And i wish that i could take all the guns in this sick place
And melt them into coins and buy compassion for the human race
And i know that it sounds cliche but I’m tired of this violence
And the view is much different when your inside of the fence
I’m on the side of the sick fence yeah

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

 

haunted # 12 – 17

I apologize for the lack of updates.  But I’m trying to make up for it with different ‘haunting’ moments for each day.  I hope you enjoy.

# 12

Marc Tiesen

Marc Tiesen was one of Han’s best friends in and after high school.  They were in bands together, wrote songs, got into trouble.  Sadly, Marc died 20 years ago from heart failure.  As long as I’ve known Han, I’ve known Marc’s name.  Over the years, I’ve met his mother and his sister.  One of Han’s songs was inspired by Marc.  It was actually the melody and some minimal lyrics that Marc came up that Han then finished after Marc’s death.  The Rock Band actually recorded the song on their CD.

With the advent of Facebook and its scary way of bringing people out of the woodwork, many of Han’s old friends have re-surfaced, some with the intention of putting together a tribute show to Marc.  One of these friends, Eric, came over last weekend.  He had also been in the bands along the way.  With him, he brought some old recordings, including one of the song that Marc improvised during a live show that became the complete song that Han recorded with Rock Band.  Han & Eric were in the other room, talking and reminiscing, then suddenly I heard the song, but it was really just the chorus that I recognized, the lilt and inflection of the melody.  And it was Marc.  I had never heard his voice before and the sensation that I felt was amazing, so I can only imagine how intense it was for Han to relive the moment and contemplate the years that have since passed.  Han explained that it was a live performance in front of a huge crowd and they were improvising and Marc just came up with this melody and these vague words.  I could tell it was really moving for Han to hear it.  Sometimes haunting is not scary, but beautiful.

~~~~

# 13

Thirteen great Halloween movies

I tried to make this list be just scary kind of haunting movies, but I couldn’t help throwing in a few funny ones.  These are all great flicks to get in the Halloween spirit.

1. The Others – One of Nicole Kidman’s best, and directed by a Chilean-born but raised in Spain director, his only English-speaking movie.  It is a classic suspense movie and I was not ready for the twist at the end.  Love this movie.

2. The Skeleton Key - I happened upon this one on cable one morning and was intrigued right away.  Old New Orleans, voodoo tales, and another nice twist.  I like Kate Hudson and she does a good job with this one.

3. Poltergeist - Still one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen, and one of the major reasons that clowns scare the crap out of me.  A true classic.

4. The Exorcist - I remember trying to watch this as a kid and just couldn’t get through it.  When I got older, I got through it, and it is scary.  As time has gone on, the effects may not be so magical, but it is the atmosphere and the mood of it all that heightens the fear for me.  I also think Exorcist 3 could be in the list.

5. What Lies Beneath - A suburban tale with Harrison Ford & Michele Pfeifer with that scary bathroom scene.  I will always watch this one when I find it on cable.

6. The Shining – Between scary Jack Nicholson, weird Shelly Duvall, and the haunted hotel, this movie, another classic, mixes the insane with the terrifying.

7. The Omen - I still can’t watch this movie after seeing it just the one time when I was younger.  This movie has always set the bar for me as a story of  pure evil.  Bad Damien.

8. 1408 - I saw this one recently.  It’s not super scary, but it’s a good story and an interesting concept.  I thought John Cusack was good in it.

9. (now the fun ones): Practical Magic - I adore this movie.  Between Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (again!), you’ve also got Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, plus ghosts, magic and rituals.  Always a great one for Halloween.

10. Hocus Pocus – Another one that I will always watch if it’s on.  The threesome of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker as three witchy sisters who come back to Salem after 300 years is just a good time.

11. The Witches of Eastwick - More Jack Nicholson and another Michelle Pfeifer film.  Well, plus Cher & Susan Sarandon.  These ladies conjure ol’ Jack and represent the ideal females, but their wiles work even on the devil.  Who can get over that cherry scene?

12. Beetlejuice - Poor ghosts Geena Davis & Alec Baldwin can’t scare away the family who’s moving into their house.  Winona Ryder can see them, but it takes Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice to make things happen.  Catherine O’ Hara is classic in this one and the “Day-O” scene in the dining room still makes me giggle.

13. Scrooged - A double whammy since this one’s also good for Christmas.  I just saw this one again recently.  All the ghosts of Christmas are great and Bill Murray is great as the mean Frank X. Cross.

~~~~

# 14

The Haunted Mansion

I’m pretty sure I’ve confessed my love for this classic Disneyland ride more than once, but it truly is my favorite ride there.   It’s a complete experience even from the line.  I love how you don’t see the people getting off the ride and everything in between.  And I still hold that sometimes, there’s a knock on my doom buggy.

~~~~

#15

Lizzie Borden

Because we share the same name, I’ve been curious about this story for a while.  Last year, I did some research about it as I thought I might be her for Halloween.  We all know the rhyme, but as it turns out Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the crimes of killing her father and stepmother, though it was 1892 and the forensic evidence at the time wasn’t the greatest.  She went on to live a quiet life, supporting the arts and allegedly having an affair with an actress.  Her story, though, is still intriguing because the case was never solved and the story is still a mystery.  The house where the murders took place is now a bed and breakfast.  Is it haunted?

~~~~

# 16

Oingo Boingo

If you want music for your Halloween party, just throw on “Dead Man’s Party” or really any of the soundtracks Danny Elfman has created, mostly with Tim Burton (who should probably have his own category in my haunted theme).

In 1985, my family moved from Idaho to California.  I began to listen to KROQ and discover my affection for new wave music, including OB.  When I started high school, I met a guy who also liked them.  Oingo Boingo did annual Halloween shows and sometimes New Year’s Eve shows.  I think I saw one of each.  The one I remember was in Long Beach and the Untouchables opened the show.  What a great time, what a great band.  Twisted and loud, horns and angst, soul and ska.  I always think of them and their music around this time of year because their style (t-shirt designs, album artwork) generally had a lot of skulls and Dia de los Muertos kinds of motifs.  They rocked.

~~~~

# 17

The Great Pumpkin

Though not a true “haunted” thing, the Great Pumpkin is irrevocably tied to Halloween thanks to the Peanuts gang.  You gotta love Linus.

(p.s. I realize that Jack Skellington or “The Nightmare Before Christmas” should be included somewhere this month, but I’m afraid to admit that I have never seen it, so I don’t feel I have any authority to reference it).

 

haunted # 5 & # 6 – tattoo and a song

# 5

I have a tattoo.

It’s a feather pen & ink-pot that was drawn for me by a friend in college. I got the ink during a spring break trip to Seattle with 4 of my closest friends at the time, though I can’t remember if it was my junior or sophomore year. All but one of us got tattoos that day, different designs, though I believe we got them all in the same location on our bodies. I’ve never regretted getting my tattoo. It is a symbol of who I’ve always been, who I always will be, in some ethereal way or other, even if it’s a state of mind. They say that once you get one, it won’t be long until you get others. That was true for the other 2 girls who went on to get more ink, though I’m not sure about the guy. As for me, I never really thought about getting another one. I had a design in mind, but it wasn’t as compelling to me.

I’ve been reconsidering that lately after two things happened.

First: I got a comment on an old post from February, 2008. The commenter was very nice and had been captivated, so to speak, by not only the passage from Divisadero that I posted, but also the last lines of the poem I’d posted to go with it. Fittingly enough for this post, the poem is called ‘to a ghost.’ In the passage from the book, the last line is: “So we fall in love with ghosts.” And the last lines of my poem are: “let us stand together/each with skin/harboring our ghosts.” The comment (thanks, Julie!) was just great, one of those kinds of comments every blogger wants, where you realize that something you’ve written has connected with someone out there. Someone you don’t know and probably never will outside of the words that have been shared. She wrote: “I stumbled across your blog and instantly my brain went ! when I saw the quote you posted from Divisadero. It’s one of my all time favorite passages from a novel-so much so that I have ‘So we fall in love with ghosts.’ tattooed on me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that your poem is incredible and I’ve had the last three lines running through my mind since I’ve read it, as I often think about people as ghosts and the ways in which we haunt each other.” Wow, right?

So I was intrigued by the idea of actually having a tattoo that was words. I’m sure that sounds dumb, people get words tattooed all the time, but I usually just think of people’s names or gang affiliations.

Second: Then I saw these two posts from Molly (one, two). And I was blown away. What an amazing idea! I immediately started thinking of the possibility of adding words to my body. And though I’m thoroughly intrigued by the layering effect that Molly’s tattoo has, I think I’d want to be able to read the words, and have others be able to read the words should it be visible to them.

This idea will not see fruition for a while for several reasons, but the primary one being that I really need to know what I want to be inked on my skin permanently. There are candidates, of course, already but I think it will be a fun thing to think about for a while.

~~~~

#6

The Ghost in You
written by: John Ashton, Richard Butler, Tim Butler
originally performed by: The Psychedelic Furs

a man in my shoes runs a light and
all the papers lied tonight but
falling over you is the news of the day

angels fall like rain
and love is all of heaven away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

a race is on, I’m on your side and
hearing you my engines die
i’m in a mood for you for running away

stars come down in you
and love…you can’t give it away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

don’t you go it makes no sense when
all your talking supermen just
take away the time and get in the way

ain’t it just like rain
and love…is only heaven away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

 

an extended break (with some pain)

It’s been entirely too long between posts for any self-respecting blogger. Sorry for that. What can I say? Life gets in the way much more than I ever imagined it might. Or I’m tired, or I tell myself there’s something else I should be doing. It’s a recurring story. What can I do to break the pattern?

That said, this won’t be a long post, as I need to get to bed. But a glimmer of me for you. For anyone reading (hi Mom & Sandy & Mia & Dad).

Han is on the road ’til Monday so I have some time to reflect and relax in different ways than when he is here. It’s not better or worse, just a different situation. I’m letting myself do some things I can’t (won’t) do while he’s here: have candles lit (he’s allergic to the scented ones) and watch guilty pleasure TV (ANTM re-runs anyone?).

Last week, I was home, inflicted by a good 5 hours in urgent care that resulted in some extra-strength ibuprofen and some vicodin to relieve some harsh pain from what they could only presume was some kind of muscle tear in my rib cage. I took Tuesday & Wednesday off, and had already requested Thursday & Friday off to go to Las Vegas with the Acoustic Duo. Instead, I stayed here and Han went to his gigs. It was for the best, but it was a bummer. But the rest was good for me, though I didn’t do much else other than watch movies, sleep, and try to book some shows.

The week before that, I was in Iowa for work. I enjoy going out there. I did pretty well with the travel too, thankfully. My co-workers were cool and we got along well. Our meetings were good, and what’s better than a summer night watching minor league baseball in Iowa? It wasn’t heaven, it was Iowa.

This afternoon I got a wild hair to “friend” a lot of folks from my high school graduating class. Next year will be the 20 year reunion and I had a major moment of nostalgia, just wanting to know what everyone is doing now, and more surprisingly wanting them to know what I’m doing. So I filled out some more info on my profile and posted some photos. Many have already accepted and written a note on my wall, and it’s nice. I can’t quite explain my shift in attitude, but there’s an interesting fondness I’m feeling for these folks, a true wish for their happiness and success. Maybe my jaded heart is softening.

In other news, our dear Barbara has taken off for Austin. At her farewell party that we hosted, I drunkenly sang “Miss Celie’s Blues” for her, a song that she & I bonded over very early in our friendship. It probably sounded terrible, and it ended in tears, but it was still a truly beautiful moment between us, and one that I’ll think of often. Many of our friends already have plans to visit her, and she’ll be back periodically to do some shows with Flan during his music season so I know we’ll stay in touch. I hope Austin knows what it’s in for.

I’ve made some small steps toward getting my health/weight on track. I’ve started the process of receiving phone consultations with a health coach. Our next talk is on Monday when we’ll discuss more of my weight loss goals and start figuring out how I can achieve them.

My dad is recovering from some surgery and I’m glad to say that he’s doing well. My mom’s getting ready to head back to school. They’re also remodeling the kitchen.  I can’t wait to see it! My sister’s doing awesome (best.sister.ever) in SLC with MT, T, and the new puppy Osi.

DK turned 12 and has spent the last month visiting Han’s folks. She’s up in Washington now and loving it. Han’s sister took some photos of her after doing her make-up and she looks 16. It’s pretty crazy. But she was really able to capture her personality. She’ll start 7th grade at a performing arts school in September. I hope she excels.

Do check out the flicks link and the flickr stuff. Both have been recently updated!

So much for a short post! I’ll wrap it up for now. Until next time!!

 

catching up

Meanwhile, a week later…

This weekend, my internet has been acting quite temperamental.  Perhaps it’s the heat, because there’s a lot of it.

So, a quick rundown of the past week and the bits of joy I picked up along the way:

Monday: Drove up to Fallbrook for an appointment with a potential house concert host for the Acoustic Duo.  While it was hot, the drive was lovely and a nice variance to the routine.

Tuesday: the best part of the day was watching the All-Star game.  Now, I’m not keeping track or anything, but someone from the Padres has had a hand in each of the last 3 years of National League losses!  Oy!  That’s not good, but you can’t beat watching the game’s very best in a baseball-centric town like St Louis or even get a little choked up at the reception Pujols got from the hometown crowd, or marvel at how cool Obama was to throw out the first pitch.  Nice.

Wednesday: On Wednesdays, I take DK to church.  It lasts from 7-8:30 pm so I use that 90 minutes to just hang out on my own rather than driving back & forth to home.  I found this little random garden cafe, kind of just in this little courtyard between 2 office buildings.  They serve coffee & soda.  Last week, I went there and drank a Coke and read for a while.

Thursday: Han had a gig, but I chose to stay home because I had some work I needed to finish so the joy of that day was getting my work done.

Friday: Friday’s joy was an at-home date night with Han.  We grilled steaks and had some cocktails, lounged in the air-conditioned room and were just mellow.  Very nice.

Saturday: I was kind of worthless yesterday because of the multiple cocktails from the previous evening.  I didn’t do much but watch movies, some new (Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Tropic Thunder), some well-known and quite familiar (Enchanted, 27 Dresses).  Our friend, Barbara, was over recording during the day and it’s always good to see her.  She’ll be off to Austin in a few short weeks.

Sunday: Today’s joy so far is just getting stuff done.  I went to the grocery store, planned the menu for the week, and I’m about to start some laundry and do dishes. Another friend of ours, Kristen, is also leaving town and her farewell party is this evening so we’ll stop by to give her our best and then plan to go see the new Harry Potter movie

And now here we are!  Hope you’re having a fine Sunday!

 

Happy 4th of July

Hi folks…well I already missed a day but I hope you’ll forgive me.  There’s not much to report.  Serena won the women’s final against Venus, and they went on to win the women’s doubles titles, too.  Most impressive.  Tomorrow morning, it’s Roddick against Federer.  I hope it’s a good match regardless of the outcome.

We’re having some friends over today to celebrate the holiday. Grilling, drinks, the usual.  We’ve been in housecleaning mode so that’s always a good thing.  Back to usual Sunday stuff tomorrow (laundry, groceries etc).  Kind of boring, but sometimes things are just ordinary.

Have a great holiday!

 

the Championships Wimbledon

I love tennis! I just finished watching Serena’s semi-final match and getting ready to watch Venus take on Safina (why she’s ranked # 1 I’ll never understand). I’m rooting for Venus to take it all the way again this year. Hooray for DVR!! Not sure who I like in the men’s matches. I’m kind of indifferent but I just love to watch whoever’s playing.

So happy for the 3-day weekend. Tomorrow we’ll be cleaning up the house and just taking care of some errands. Then on the 4th we’re having some folks over since we’ll have a good look at a lot of the fireworks (though they’re not my cup of tea) from our perch here above Mission Bay.

Enjoy your holiday!

 

July!

Goodness, how did this happen?  July already?!?!?

I must point out my new blog header.  Doesn’t my mom do great work?  I love it!

I won’t go into all the details that made up June, but I will say that we successfully released the Rock Band’s CD on June 21st.  Both my parents wrote about it, so you can see the details on their blogs if you’re so inclined.  In brief, the show went very well and I was pleased with the results.  The show itself kicked all kinds of ass and I know that Han had a great time playing.

Since then, I’ve been trying to relax.  Trying to figure out how time just moves on whether you want it to or not.

Oh, I will mention one other June thing.  The San Diego Junior Theater play that DK is in opened on June 26.  It’s Mulan Jr, and it’s just awesome.  I am always so impressed with their productions.  The play runs until July 12.

It is my humble intent to write at least a little–dare I say it?–every day.  Stated with the purest intention in my heart.

Stay tuned for an upcoming post about my day with Snickers the dog.

 

in response to yesterday’s poem

When I was going through my collection of poetry books, I happened to open the Laguna Beach Slam Team 2000 anthology.  The first poet’s first poem is a poem for me.  I was surprised and pleased.  I knew this poet had written such a piece, but I didn’t know that it had been published, much less that I had a copy of it.

This poet and I discovered our mutual love for Jeff Buckley at a party once.  He was one of the main reasons why I even got a spot on the 1999 Laguna Beach slam team.  He was a judge at one of the qualifying bouts.  I took a chance and read a short piece, probably under a minute, and he gave me a very generous score.  His work is incomparable as is his entertainment value.  I’m happy to hear that he is doing so much with his poetry (opening for Cold War Kids, I mean come on!)

I haven’t seen or heard him read in a long time, but I try to keep my eyes and ears out for when he’ll make an appearance I can attend.  I count myself very lucky to have been part of a poetry scene in Orange County (when the San Diego scene was non-existent) that included the likes of Mindy Nettifee, Victor Infante, Steve Ramirez, Jaimes Palacio, June Melby, Paul Suntup, Lea Deschenes, John Gardiner, Michael Paul, G. Murray Thomas, Mifanwy Kaiser, Daniel McGinn, Lori McGinn, Charles Ardinger, Lob, Chris Tannahill, and of course, Derrick Brown.

Cursing Jeff Buckley
by Derrick Brown

for Lizzie

You sultry poison
You angeldust donor
You American gunmetal tongue
Stealing the power from women

You said the nightmare sucked you in
and pulled you under
the muck of the river filling your wide, shark-toothed mouth
You cried out for the cold southern moon
Oh helpless moon…
You held your breath
and went down
your body convulsing in the black water
shaking for life
bubbles roared from your throat
filled with swirling notes of terror

A last song.

You said the nightmare sucked you in
and pulled you under
You died brilliantly.
…how did you know?

 

Sunday poem

Just a quick one for this evening from my lovely friend, Una Hynum.

Crossroads
by Una Hynum

Dark descended into night;
the thinnest parachute of light
adorned the wood with crinkled well
as silent as a silken sail
collapsed about a naked deck.
Stars crawled out upon their knees,
blinked in circles round the trees,
felt their way along the ground,
discovered paths; without a sound
filled the woods with muffled flak.
At the crossroads children stand,
readied jar lids in their hands,
enchanted by one throbbing star
aglow within a Mason jar.
Awed, they let the prisoner go,
not understanding what they know.

- from Everyday Birds on Everyday Fences