November

Hello November! My 2nd favorite month simply because this is my birth month!

The month didn’t start too well, though. We had to take our truck to the shop, again. It had a dead battery due to clogged fuel injectors or something like that. But it’s all better now, although the pocketbook took a bit of a hit.

This month should be filled with activity. Han’s on the road a bit, then music season starts up, my 40th birthday(!), plus trips up to my folks’ house. Not to mention that work is still pretty busy, and of course the holidays are right around the corner as they say. I still have to watch my 2 Halloween movies (Practical Magic and Hocus Pocus)! Don’t start showing Thanksgiving stuff yet in the stores or on TV, or even worse, Christmas stuff! Take it down a notch, retail world!

This post isn’t very interesting, but it’s NaBloPoMo, and I didn’t want to miss the first day!

happy Halloween

I’ve just posted a bunch of my poems on this site. Just click on Poetry from the top navigation. And now something to get you in the mood for Halloween. Enjoy!

One Way Rain

it is the way of the rain
airborn ocean moves in waves
keeps coming
changes course
like tide follows moon
these drops & grey clouds
suggest the season
will witches show themselves
and phantoms slip through crack
for Samhain

I heard voices in the quiet church
I saved myself from thirst
by sucking rain from my hair

like going out in it
soft cotton & clean socks
my paper wet & ink running down the pages

and like coming in out of it
stolen motel towels hang clean
I pretend I’m on the road
empty suitcases on living room floor
strangers argue in the street
new neighbors sleep with old friends
hard luck losers hit a winning streak
pages already full of years
opened after just as long
where words spell out
your loving, his hardness, her tears
my personal kings & queens & other royalty
of the night, the song, the imagination

Leo rising and hands travel texture of my hair
make their wishes on silver & turquoise
drops of pearls fall from curls
twist & smooth themselves into bands
around my fingers

so now you know the animal
and have seen yourself differently
in shadows of moonlight

it is the way of the rain
and night is a jack o’lantern
grinning like a drunken wise man
ready to share his last bottle
and all he knows

41 years ago…

…a 27-year-old girl from Port Arthur, Texas died in a hotel room in Hollywood from an overdose of heroin.

Janis Joplin was unlike any other before or since.

I never knew (or didn’t remember) the name of the hotel where she died until today. It’s funny, but it never occurred to me before to want to seek it out. I still probably won’t, but I know where it is. I could retrace her steps.

I think I’ve posted all the poems I’ve written for Janis. I’ve posted photos and videos. Song lyrics. Now I’ll post something from Janis herself from a letter dated April 1970 as collected in the book Love, Janis written by her sister, Laura.

Hello!

Really rushing through rehearsals, have a new (2 of the same guys, 3 new) smaller band & it’s really going fantastic! Great new songs-really needed new songs-so we’ll do an album while on the next tour. Albert is lightening up my schedule a little because of my old age & because I put my foot Down! 2 mos on the road then 2 off, 2 on, 2 off, etc. So I can have a little personal life, I hope. I met a really fine man in Rio but I had to get back to work so he’s off finding the rest of the world-Africa or Morocco now I think, but he really did love me & was so good to me & he wants to come back & marry me! I thought I’d die without someone besides fans asking me. But he meant it & who knows-I may get tired of the music biz, but I’m really gettin it on now! & doing much & fantastic & expensive work on the house. It’s turning into a palace-all fur & wood & stained glass & velvet couches & chaise lounges & even a chandelier hanging in the middle of an eye-full of redwoods. FANTASTIC! Have a new puppy-a Great Pyrenees all white, one of the biggest dogs around-grows to be 180 lbs. all lumbering & loving, rare & expensive-from the Pyrenees mtns, long ago a cross between a St. Bernard & a Mastiff-named him Thurber, thanks for the books when I was young, Dad. It does make a difference.

LOVE,
Janis

The guy she was talking about was named David Niehaus, but they didn’t stay together. At the time of her death, she was seeing a guy named Seth Morgan who she was hoping to marry. Who knows how both of them would have ended up had she not died that night.

When she died, she was putting the finishing touches on “Pearl.” On October 5, she was supposed to put down her vocal track to “Buried Alive in the Blues.” That song remains an instrumental on that remarkable album. It was released in January, 1971, and was her biggest commercial success. It was #1 on Billboard for 9 weeks.

I love Janis because even through all the addiction issues, I feel like I know who she was. Her sister’s book had a lot to do with that. It’s hard to explain. She just seems very real to me. RIP Janis. You are still loved and remembered.

I’ll leave you with me doing my best Janis at Halloween last year.

autumn approaches

San Diego is known for its beautiful weather all year long. That’s why those of us who have lived here a while kind of relish the slight change of season that occurs around this time. It’s a strange mix. During the day, most days, it’s hot and the Santa Ana winds blow and inevitably lead to fire. There’s one burning right now out near Julian. But then in the evening, a chill comes in, ever so slightly, but still noticeable. I love that part. It’s just about perfect for this girl who doesn’t love cold weather, but does like to acknowledge the change of season.

I realized that I didn’t say a word yesterday about the showcase in Anaheim. It was pretty cool. It was hosted at someone’s home, in their backyard. She told us there would be no amplification, but it went beyond that, and there was no electricity at all, so no lights. There were tiki torches and candles a-glowing, and it was a lovely sight. There were 3 acts total, and the first act, was…well, awful. I couldn’t understand why they were there. And I heard them talking about how they had another gig in Hollywood later, and I couldn’t believe it. It also made me look forward to Acoustic Duo’s performance because I knew they would blow people away, especially after what they’d just listened to. And I was right. They were fantastic. And you know, the backyard show is nothing new (though usually it’s amplified). But they were comfortable, projected well, and were just great, like they always are. And the folks really liked them. Who the folks were, I have no idea. I don’t know why they were there or how they knew about it.

One cool thing was that Awesome Mastering Guy came to see them. Now Acoustic Duo has mastered every record they’ve done (6 now over the last 12 years) and he’s never seen them live. He even came up and jammed on a song with them which was great. What was interesting was talking to him afterward and hearing him say what a cool idea it was to have music in the backyard of someone’s house. He said he liked the “analog aspect” of it all. He said how everyone in LA is so wired and frenetic that it was nice to ‘unplug’ and enjoy music that way. It was adorable! I forget that not everyone has that ‘analog aspect’ in their lives like we do, so it was interesting to hear how he described it. It was also cool to hear him tell stories about T-Bone Burnett and Lucinda Williams.

This evening I have to do some work for Acoustic Duo. We all talked on the drive up to Pasadena and I have a bit of a game plan to go by for scheduling. There are also some festivals to look into etc. Part of me just wants to curl up and read though. I finished The Sugar Queen (last night) and I’ve now started a new book, fitting for the upcoming holiday, called The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe. It is a double story, set in 1681 & 1991 in Salem, Massachusetts. A witch story. Perfect.

This time of year always reminds me of this poem I wrote a number of years ago so I thought I’d post it here (although I’ve already posted it). Enjoy your evening!

Fire Season

I got diamonds on my fingers
but no place to go
except to ghost towns in springtime
where priests burn sage from holy balconies
where choirs sing &
sun scatters colors on the congregation
smoky orange & blazing red
while outside fires consume California

I got this bag on my back
that still holds something of you
worn leather of your thoughts
caramelized into sweet scent
I hold hostage behind sealed zipper
& I love to see the way land looks
with eastern sunlight shining from behind me
or seeing beams on hillside
but not seeing sun itself
until I round the corner
feel it full on my face
it forces me to notice all colors
not to close my eyes against it
& to see darkness differently
to feel change in the air
warm Santa Ana’s, morning fog, or Halloween chills
porque siente como el invierno en mi cuarto ya
y en mi cama
frio
oscuro
butter & clovers
sweaters & lovers
heat of fires on the hills
air whipped & chilled near the ocean

winter music plays
celebrates eastern morning rays
& evening stardust breezes
for you & me & everyone
for it all to snuggle in my hair
like smoke & sweat
to settle into my pillowcase
that I’ll send to you
when we’re apart
so with every turn
you’ll remember
the fire season

vamos Gigantes

Well, it’s that time of year again.  The challenge to write once a day in November.  I’ll give it my best.

The big thing today is that the San Francisco Giants have a chance to win the World Series tonight.  Why do I care?  Because I happen to be among a circle of friends who know the 3rd base coach, Tim Flannery.  And it would just be one of the coolest things ever to know someone who was part of a World Series championship team.  We’re all pulling for him.  Go Flan!

Another thing that’s going on is that Han’s grandfather passed away a couple weeks ago.  His memorial gathering is happening this Sunday, and then he’ll have military honors in early December.  He was a nice man and he will be missed.  It’s tough on Han, of course, with his father also going less than a year ago.

This month is also my birthday month.  I’m good with it.  It’s been a pretty tough year, more financially than anything else, but with the financial woes come some low moods.  The good thing is I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s still a few months away, but we should be shaping up pretty good.

For Halloween this year, I was the one and only Janis Joplin.  It was the best $10 I’ve ever spent!  Behold!
(This was taken at work with my friend, Tessa, who was a ‘steampunk.’)

darn it all

I’ve already bombed out on NaBloPoMo, but I’ll try to make it up. Plus I think I have a good reason.

Here’s what happened. Yesterday, I went to the grocery store after work. Actually, both Target and the grocery store because Target is much cheaper on most of the staples. With the time change, it was already dark when I got home. I’ve also been having this strange numbness in my left thigh and it was acting up. There was still dinner to make and work to do. I sat down on the couch for a minute or two, and I felt my heart start pounding, my breathing became irregular and tears came to my eyes. I think I had a small panic attack.

Han sent me to the bedroom immediately to lie down and relax while he made dinner. I recovered quickly and am fine now, but it was weird. I already had a doctor appointment scheduled for Monday, but I just changed it to Thursday. I’ll be sure to bring up all of these occurrences then. Weird.

I got up and ate dinner, watched the baseball game and then I went to sleep around 9:30 pm. Like I said, today I feel fine, but I’m glad I could switch my appointment. So that’s my story of why I didn’t post yesterday.

~~~

I also feel terrible that I didn’t complete all of my “haunted” posts in October. I even had something figured out for all the remaining days! I’ll try to slip them in throughout November, too, because they were good ones!

For Halloween, I was Bellatrix Lastrange from Harry Potter. It was all homemade but it worked. Here’s a group shot from a party I went to. On my left arm that’s extended is the Dark Mark, done in sharpie by one of my co-workers. In my right hand, I’m holding my “wand,” a stick from a tree in our front yard. This photo is also on Facebook if you want to see it bigger.

Okay, so here’s one of the things I was going to post for “haunted” and it fits in with what I did during the day of Halloween. It’s all the ‘reality’ ghost shows that are on: Ghost Hunters, Ghost Lab, Ghost Adventures. During Halloween day, I watched a marathon of Ghost Hunters. I just love it! And a week or two ago, I saw an episode of Ghost Lab from New Orleans that was really cool. They are both basically the same kind of set-up, but I’m a believer and these kinds of shows help validate that!

Until next time.

haunted # 19 & # 20 – ghostly phrases

# 19

Ghost in the Machine

Yes, a great album by The Police, but what does it mean?  I have always thought that this phrase stemmed from an explanation of sorts to define metaphorically why computers or other technological equipment have their occasional quirks.  However, in researching the phrase today, I didn’t find anything like that.

I did find some great references though that do  explain the phrase.  I link them here rather than trying to re-hash the psychological arguments that the phrase relates to:

http://garydexter.blogspot.com/2009/07/114-ghost-in-machine-by-arthur-koestler.html

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/51/messages/1003.html

http://www.word-detective.com/back-y.html

In a nutshell, however, the “ghost” is the spirit and the “machine” is the body.  It’s an interesting concept.

But back to The Police.  It turns out Sting, being a well-read man, read Koestler which inspired much of the music (and of course, the title) of the 1981 album.  Consider the titles:

1. “Spirits in the Material World” – 2:59
2. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” – 4:22
3. “Invisible Sun” – 3:44
4. “Hungry for You (J’aurais Toujours Faim de Toi)” – 2:52
5. “Demolition Man” – 5:57
6. “Too Much Information” – 3:43
7. “Rehumanize Yourself” (Sting, Stewart Copeland) – 3:10
8. “One World (Not Three)” – 4:47
9. “Ωmegaman” (Andy Summers) – 2:48 (“Omegaman” on some editions)
10. “Secret Journey“– 3:34
11. “Darkness” (Copeland) – 3:14

The whole album is a study in the technology of the world and how we interact with it.  And remember, this was 1981!  Think of how much more technology is embedded in our daily lives now and how some of us rely on it so heavily.  Smart rock.

~~~~

# 20

Give Up the Ghost

Another interesting phrase.  A euphemism for dying, or for something mechanical to quit working (maybe I was mixing up my meanings of ‘ghost in the machine’ with ‘give up the ghost’).

The phrase is in the King James Bible, but has an alternate metaphorical meaning (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/155500.html) to not be living and not able to become a ghost.

Again, I’ve always had somewhat of a different understanding of the phrase.  I interpreted it to convey or include a willingness to be finished or done.  As in the person who died or the item that shuts down is simply ready to do so and is okay with it.

It seems, from a literal standpoint, to be backwards.  If you give up the ghost, aren’t you really choosing the corporeal over the ethereal?  Still it’s a lovely phrase, alliterative, evocative.

haunted # 18

Your Ghost
written & performed by: Steve Poltz
for John Lentz

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

And i can’t explain it there’s so much i could say to you
And so much is left unsaid and there’s nothing i can do
Nothing i can do yeah

I played your song last night and drank down my last beer
Skyway by westerberg but you weren’t there to hear
And i thought i saw an angel with you in the back
But when they turned the light down everything went black

And i thought of your mum and dad in you hometown
And your lovely sister and it slowly brought me down
Only brought me down yeah
I’d think of your sweet smile and how perfectly it fit
To you the world was a cookie jar and you had your hands in it

And i wish that i could take all the guns in this sick place
And melt them into coins and buy compassion for the human race
And i know that it sounds cliche but I’m tired of this violence
And the view is much different when your inside of the fence
I’m on the side of the sick fence yeah

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

haunted # 12 – 17

I apologize for the lack of updates.  But I’m trying to make up for it with different ‘haunting’ moments for each day.  I hope you enjoy.

# 12

Marc Tiesen

Marc Tiesen was one of Han’s best friends in and after high school.  They were in bands together, wrote songs, got into trouble.  Sadly, Marc died 20 years ago from heart failure.  As long as I’ve known Han, I’ve known Marc’s name.  Over the years, I’ve met his mother and his sister.  One of Han’s songs was inspired by Marc.  It was actually the melody and some minimal lyrics that Marc came up that Han then finished after Marc’s death.  The Rock Band actually recorded the song on their CD.

With the advent of Facebook and its scary way of bringing people out of the woodwork, many of Han’s old friends have re-surfaced, some with the intention of putting together a tribute show to Marc.  One of these friends, Eric, came over last weekend.  He had also been in the bands along the way.  With him, he brought some old recordings, including one of the song that Marc improvised during a live show that became the complete song that Han recorded with Rock Band.  Han & Eric were in the other room, talking and reminiscing, then suddenly I heard the song, but it was really just the chorus that I recognized, the lilt and inflection of the melody.  And it was Marc.  I had never heard his voice before and the sensation that I felt was amazing, so I can only imagine how intense it was for Han to relive the moment and contemplate the years that have since passed.  Han explained that it was a live performance in front of a huge crowd and they were improvising and Marc just came up with this melody and these vague words.  I could tell it was really moving for Han to hear it.  Sometimes haunting is not scary, but beautiful.

~~~~

# 13

Thirteen great Halloween movies

I tried to make this list be just scary kind of haunting movies, but I couldn’t help throwing in a few funny ones.  These are all great flicks to get in the Halloween spirit.

1. The Others – One of Nicole Kidman’s best, and directed by a Chilean-born but raised in Spain director, his only English-speaking movie.  It is a classic suspense movie and I was not ready for the twist at the end.  Love this movie.

2. The Skeleton Key - I happened upon this one on cable one morning and was intrigued right away.  Old New Orleans, voodoo tales, and another nice twist.  I like Kate Hudson and she does a good job with this one.

3. Poltergeist - Still one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen, and one of the major reasons that clowns scare the crap out of me.  A true classic.

4. The Exorcist - I remember trying to watch this as a kid and just couldn’t get through it.  When I got older, I got through it, and it is scary.  As time has gone on, the effects may not be so magical, but it is the atmosphere and the mood of it all that heightens the fear for me.  I also think Exorcist 3 could be in the list.

5. What Lies Beneath - A suburban tale with Harrison Ford & Michele Pfeifer with that scary bathroom scene.  I will always watch this one when I find it on cable.

6. The Shining – Between scary Jack Nicholson, weird Shelly Duvall, and the haunted hotel, this movie, another classic, mixes the insane with the terrifying.

7. The Omen - I still can’t watch this movie after seeing it just the one time when I was younger.  This movie has always set the bar for me as a story of  pure evil.  Bad Damien.

8. 1408 - I saw this one recently.  It’s not super scary, but it’s a good story and an interesting concept.  I thought John Cusack was good in it.

9. (now the fun ones): Practical Magic - I adore this movie.  Between Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (again!), you’ve also got Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, plus ghosts, magic and rituals.  Always a great one for Halloween.

10. Hocus Pocus – Another one that I will always watch if it’s on.  The threesome of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker as three witchy sisters who come back to Salem after 300 years is just a good time.

11. The Witches of Eastwick - More Jack Nicholson and another Michelle Pfeifer film.  Well, plus Cher & Susan Sarandon.  These ladies conjure ol’ Jack and represent the ideal females, but their wiles work even on the devil.  Who can get over that cherry scene?

12. Beetlejuice - Poor ghosts Geena Davis & Alec Baldwin can’t scare away the family who’s moving into their house.  Winona Ryder can see them, but it takes Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice to make things happen.  Catherine O’ Hara is classic in this one and the “Day-O” scene in the dining room still makes me giggle.

13. Scrooged - A double whammy since this one’s also good for Christmas.  I just saw this one again recently.  All the ghosts of Christmas are great and Bill Murray is great as the mean Frank X. Cross.

~~~~

# 14

The Haunted Mansion

I’m pretty sure I’ve confessed my love for this classic Disneyland ride more than once, but it truly is my favorite ride there.   It’s a complete experience even from the line.  I love how you don’t see the people getting off the ride and everything in between.  And I still hold that sometimes, there’s a knock on my doom buggy.

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#15

Lizzie Borden

Because we share the same name, I’ve been curious about this story for a while.  Last year, I did some research about it as I thought I might be her for Halloween.  We all know the rhyme, but as it turns out Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the crimes of killing her father and stepmother, though it was 1892 and the forensic evidence at the time wasn’t the greatest.  She went on to live a quiet life, supporting the arts and allegedly having an affair with an actress.  Her story, though, is still intriguing because the case was never solved and the story is still a mystery.  The house where the murders took place is now a bed and breakfast.  Is it haunted?

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# 16

Oingo Boingo

If you want music for your Halloween party, just throw on “Dead Man’s Party” or really any of the soundtracks Danny Elfman has created, mostly with Tim Burton (who should probably have his own category in my haunted theme).

In 1985, my family moved from Idaho to California.  I began to listen to KROQ and discover my affection for new wave music, including OB.  When I started high school, I met a guy who also liked them.  Oingo Boingo did annual Halloween shows and sometimes New Year’s Eve shows.  I think I saw one of each.  The one I remember was in Long Beach and the Untouchables opened the show.  What a great time, what a great band.  Twisted and loud, horns and angst, soul and ska.  I always think of them and their music around this time of year because their style (t-shirt designs, album artwork) generally had a lot of skulls and Dia de los Muertos kinds of motifs.  They rocked.

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# 17

The Great Pumpkin

Though not a true “haunted” thing, the Great Pumpkin is irrevocably tied to Halloween thanks to the Peanuts gang.  You gotta love Linus.

(p.s. I realize that Jack Skellington or “The Nightmare Before Christmas” should be included somewhere this month, but I’m afraid to admit that I have never seen it, so I don’t feel I have any authority to reference it).

haunted #7-11

# 7

Ghost in this House
written by: Hugh Prestwood
performed by Alison Krauss: video here

I don’t pick up the mail
I don’t pick up the phone
I don’t answer the door
I’d just as soon be alone
I don’t keep this place up
I just keep the lights down
I don’t live in these rooms
I just rattle around

I’m just a ghost in this house
I’m just a shadow upon these walls
As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls
I’m just a whisper of smoke
I’m all that’s left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
You took my body and soul
I’m just a ghost in this house

I don’t care if it rains
I don’t care if it’s clear
I don’t mind staying in
There’s another ghost here
He sits down in your chair
And he shines with your light
And he lays down his head
On your pillow at night

I’m just a ghost in this house
I’m just a shadow upon these walls
I’m living proof of the damage
Heartbreak does
I’m just a whisper of smoke
I’m all that’s left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
And took my body and soul
I’m just a ghost in this house
Oh, I’m just a ghost in this house

~~~~

# 8

Saturday Night Live’s Celebrity Ghost Stories

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# 9

Baseball playoffs

Baseball is full of superstition, and sometimes it’s hard not to imagine that the ghosts of baseball past are influencing things just a bit. The other night I was watching game 2 of the Yankees/Twins games and A-Rod hit the 2-run shot in the bottom of the ninth to tie it, followed by Teixeira’s walk-off homerun in the bottom of the 11th. I don’t know if it was that game or the Dodgers/Cardinals game when the Dodgers made an amazing comeback to win, but one of the TV commentators made a reference to the ghosts having their way.

~~~~

#10

Ghost
written by: Emily Saliers
performed by: The Indigo Girls

Theres a letter on the desktop
That I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams

And the mississippis mighty
But it starts in minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And I guess thats how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown

And theres not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
Im in love with your ghost
Im in love with your ghost

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
(dont tell a soul)
When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
(dont tell a soul)
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper

And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
Id walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
Ive never been this close
Im in love with your ghost

Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But I cant touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh Im forever under lock and key
As you pass through me

Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like achilles
With you always at my heels

This bitter pill I swallow
Is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I cant swim free
The river is too deep
Though Im baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost

You are shadowing my dreams
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)

~~~~

#11

Found this excellent re-cap of all of the Brady Bunch episodes that featured hauntings and other trickery.