feast or famine

Since I posted almost every day in April, I thought that maybe I could not post at all in May…not really, it’s just nearly turned out that way. Sorry. Things have been a little hectic around here, with very little chance of smoothing out any time soon.

Honestly, this month has been very trying for me. Emotionally, financially, and physically.

All month I have felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do. Having a natural tendency toward laziness while at the same time a vigorous work ethic, I have been at odds with myself, spreading myself very thin and some people in my life have suffered the consequences. What’s worse is that I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I mean I think I know all the ways that are supposed to work, but finding joy seems like a task unto itself. I am loaded on stress, whether it’s my job, the household, the music stuff, there seems to be very little respite. My mood swings have been dazzling and kind of scary.

The downturn in the economy has touched us and that’s never a good feeling. We are doing our best and have received some much appreciated help. I can only try my best to help get the ship righted a bit. See above re: stress.

And physically…I developed bursitis in my right shoulder. I actually went to the doctor (not my first choice usually) and was prescribed some strong anti-inflammatory medication. It seems to be working quite well.

All of this is not to say that I haven’t had some good days and good news this month:
- I spent some great quality time with my mom & dad at the beginning of the month and then just with my mom on Mother’s Day. That was seriously a fabulous day.
- I randomly headed down to Elevated where I witnessed how the little seed I helped to plant in the poetry scene some ten years ago has blossomed. I must say it was the strangest feeling sitting there, listening to these voices and knowing that I helped make it happen, and knowing that almost no one in the room knew who I was. That may sound sad, but it wasn’t. It was cool. And I did talk with a couple of the organizers (Ant Black and Christopher Wilson) who were very kind. I did read, too, and that is always a thrill.
- We pulled off successful back-to-back performances (as well as a show up in LA) to celebrate the release of the Acoustic Duo’s CD . The CD is being very well-received by the masses. They are traveling to Texas this weekend to perform at a huge festival that’s sure to further fuel the fire.
- DK landed a part in the Junior Theater production of Mulan Jr. which is very exciting. The show opens on June 26 and runs until July 12. We already have our tickets for opening and closing night and we’ll probably go to another show in between.
- I’ve kept up my reading (new books updated on my books page)
- We went to see “Angels & Demons” (I’m in serious need of bulking up my Flicks list)

So there’s good stuff. As my sister said, “You’ve got to punch a fun ticket every now and then.” And she’s right.

But what worries me is not seeming to be able to sustain the good mood, the happy attitude. What worries me is that I seem incapable of relaxing. I mean WTF? I mostly feel tired, jagged, coarse. Even when I try to plan relaxing things, I’m telling myself, “Okay, now is the time scheduled for relaxing.” That’s not how it’s supposed to work.

I usually am not this forthcoming about my personal well-being or state of mind on this blog. But I figure, the people I know who read this with any regularity are people who love me and who would want to know what’s going on with me, right?

So what’s ahead?
- Fast approaching is the release of the Rock Band’s CD (June 21) and there is a flurry of activity that accompanies such a thing. Many details that must be attended to.
- I have a reading on the 24th. A publication party for another anthology I was lucky enough to be selected for. It’s in National City which is kind of a drag, but I’ll get to see some friends (Robt!) who I haven’t seen in forever.
- Continued promotion and planning for Acoustic Duo and Rock Band gigs.
- Hopefully a pedicure if I can get the darn thing scheduled.
- and summer…I don’t know if I’ve looked forward to a season more than I am doing this year. I need the sun to soothe this stress and anxiety I have.

Sorry for the period of famine with regard to my posting. Here’s to more feasting.

 

where I’ve been

What was I saying before about the passage of time?  James Taylor sang that the “secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”  I’m not sure about that, but I’m definitely a master of letting time slip by seemingly unnoticed!  So here’s a re-cap, broken up by subject so you can pick & choose what you’d like to learn about

Han’s Birthday
Han’s birthday was a great success.  In part because of the chocolate peanut butter cake I made from scratch.  Goodness!  I got the recipe here, and all her tips were much appreciated!  During the day, we went down to a club and did a photo shoot for the Rock Band’s album.  It was a fun time and we’re looking forward to seeing the results.  In the evening, we had some friends over at the house for a pre-party kind of thing before heading down to Ocean Beach to hear our friends, Deadline Friday, rock out Winston’s.  They even had Han up on stage on a song.  He got shots of Patron all night from friends and it was just a good time all around.  

Books
On the 8th, I went to book club and opinions were mixed on “Away.”  Now we’re reading “Missing Mom” and I’m not loving it. But I’m sticking with it.  I’m also reading “Water for Elephants” and already finished book 2 in the Harry Potter series.

Rubbing Elbows with…
On Tuesday, 3/10, I got to meet a couple people who are simply remarkable musicians: David Rawlings and Gillian Welch. I’ve been listening to their music for years.  Han and the various groups he plays with cover her songs.  They are responsible for much of the sounds that make up Ryan Adams’ ”Heartbreaker” album, one of my favorites of all-time.  Turns out our friend, Matt, went to high school with Dave and they’ve recently re-connected.  In fact, back in January he took Han up to LA with him to hang out with him.  So Han came home with these amazing stories of people he met and music that was played.  Serious wow.  So, Dave & Gillian are playing the Belly-Up as the Dave Rawlings Machine, and they’re fabulous.  They did his songs for the most part, none of which I knew, but they threw in some covers like “It Ain’t Me Babe” that were just awesome.  Then, they invited their friends, Sean & Sara Watkins to join them.  Those two got huge as part of Nickel Creek.  The 4 of them played some great tunes and it was a great night of music.  So afterward, we hung out.  We were there with Matt & his girlfriend, and some of our other friends who are big fans of this music.  Dave & Gillian both remembered Han and hugged him when they saw him. Then they were introduced to the rest of us and we spent probably a good 30 minutes talking and hanging out.  Very cool. 

Which leads me to Sunday, 3/15.  I had decided to make my way up to LA (Tarzana to be exact) to attend a reading that featured my friend, Mindy Nettifee.  Mindy & I were on the Laguna Beach slam team together way back in ‘99 and I adore her.  I have not seen her nearly enough in these last years and I thought this would be a great opportunity.  I threw the option out there to my folks to join me if they wanted to and my dad took me up on it.  He even offered to drive his super cool SSR.  Awesome.  I drove up to their house, then he & I took off for the reading, after I grabbed some lunch with my mom.  On the way up we talked about all kinds of stuff and I relayed the story above about going to the show and meeting Gillian.  He had heard of her from me, but was also familiar somewhat with her work on “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”  I was so glad he drove, I knew I would have been super tired if I’d driven that whole way.  So we get there and walk into the Tarzana Community Cultural Center and I kid you not, Gillian Welch and Sara Watkins are standing there!  I couldn’t believe it!  Sara was plucking away at a little guitar with a couple people standing around her and Gillian was among them.  I went up to her and said hello and asked if she remembered me from the show the other night.  She said yes and shook my hand (I think she’s incredibly adorable and very striking in person).  She said she was tagging along with Sara for the day and that’s why she was there, and I explained why I was there, certain I was being the biggest dork ever. 

I signed up for the open reading (spot # 2), then my dad & I got some seats in the back row.  It was pretty crowded.  I was observing mostly, seeing a couple other poets I knew from my more prolific performing days.  Soon, the event started and it was kicked off by Sara singing a song, then she had Gillian join her, and they did a couple more songs, including one that I recognized from the show on Tuesday.  Gillian just played guitar and did some backing vocals. When they were finished, it was time for the features.  And just as Mindy was taking the “stage”, Gillian moved in to sit in the seat next to mine!  She didn’t say anything and it was the only seat left in the place, but still!  I found it hard to give Mindy my full attention because I was hyper-alert as to Gillian’s reactions to what she was hearing.  I wanted her to “get” Mindy, and Mindy made it very easy to do.  She’s great, with a very distinct delivery style and content.  I admire her ballsiness about so much and of course, that she’s been able to sustain herself with writing.  After her set, the next feature, Eloise Klein-Healy got up to perform.  She is probably in her late 50s or 60s and quite a character.  I enjoyed her reading very much.  All the while, I noticed small things about Gillian: her fair skin, her funky cowboy boots, the shifting of her weight, her throaty, sincere laughter, her intent ear.  She embodies a coolness that I want to bottle.

As Eloise finished up and they announced the break, I worked up my nerve to ask Gillian if she was staying for the open reading.  She said she didn’t know and that she’d have to check with her ride and pointed toward Sara.  I said something like, “Well, I’m reading…” as if that would hopefully sway the decision.  Big dork.  At the break, I was able to catch up with Mindy as well as say hello to my other friends, Rick Lupert & Brendan Constantine.  Mindy & I went outside to get some air, she’s adorable and it was great to see her. She said she’d be interested in coming down to San Diego if I put a show or something together.  That’s good inspiration!

We headed back inside and I quickly saw that Sara & Gillian were still there.  And actually, Mindy started talking with them as the MC read my name as the first person to read (I had signed up for spot # 2, but no one had signed up for #1).  So I made my way to the mic slowly, hoping they would stop talking and listen.  I began my first poem (Two Beer Buzz) and could still hear their voices in the other room.  Then, about midway through, I saw Mindy sit down and Gillian lean up against the door with her head down, a gesture I’d noticed when she was sitting next to me that made me understand she was listening.  I tried to keep cool, but as I was speaking out loud and trying to “perform” all I could think was ‘Gillian Welch is listening to me read a poem!!’   I am a dork.   My writing of this, I realize, makes me sound a bit obsessed, but I wouldn’t say that.  More fascinated than anything.  Here was someone who I’ve always thought I could/would get along with if we ever met, and then there it is!  I felt somewhat desperate to leap over this first/second meeting awkwardness and get to the being friends part, to know each other.  But, that’s not how it works!

So I read my second poem (When You Go) and felt more in control.  There was the added bit of nerves to be reading in front of these LA poets who know their shit, and who I admire.  But the reception I got was favorable and I was pleased overall.  After a few more readers, the event was over and folks were making their way out.  I made sure to get to Mindy, but then also said goodbye to Gillian (I even called her ‘Gil’) who answered with a ‘good to hear you.’  Very cool.  Even cooler?  Mindy gave me a copy of her book Sleepyhead Assassins.  Sweet! 

Dad & I drove back to his house, and I stayed only a bit and then got back on the road.  And to cap off the great day, it was time for “The Seventh Day” on KLOS (95.5), a program where three albums are played cover to cover, old school style, taking a break after side one.  And on the docket that day was all U2.  So I drove back to San Diego listening to every word of “The Joshua Tree,” another of my all-time favorites.  Quite a successful day!

Weekly Tidbits
The next week included St. Patrick’s Day which saw DK & I head over to Matt & Joey’s house for a small get-together.  Han didn’t join us as he’s working on the Acoustic Duo album.

On Wednesday, we all went to get Han’s birthday present: an iPhone!  He loves it and is finding new apps to use every day.  It’s great, too, for practical reasons.  He can use it in the studio since his equipment is all Mac stuff and he can sync it up and do all kinds of cool things that will assist him with his work. 

On Friday night, Rock Band played a gig at the grand opening of Frankie the Bull’s BBQ restaurant. Frankie the Bull was on the 2nd season of Top Chef.  It was a fun night and the folks seemed to like ‘em.  Hopefully it will turn into some more gigs!

Visit from Mom & Dad & a show
On Saturday, my mom & dad came down to visit and we went out to lunch at a neighborhood restaurant, the Bay Park Fish Co. I thought it was pretty good.  Then we brought back Extraordinary Desserts (where we also ran into Barb & Rosa from my book club!)  It was a very nice visit.  The folks left around 4ish and then I lounged.  I think I overloaded on sugar and my body was not pleased with me.  So I just took it easy until it was time to head out for the Acoustic Duo show.  Once there, I still wasn’t feeling great, but I rallied and it was fine.  The show went well.  With the downturn in the economy, fewer people are coming out to shows, but the crowd was great and the guys had a good time playing some brand new songs for the good people.

Kitchen Capers
An update on some of the culinary treats I’ve created lately… 
- steak salad
- fiery “fried” chicken
- Swedish meatballs
- cheese enchiladas
- breaded pork
- shrimp quesadillas
Yum!

Looking forward to:
- Acoustic Duo heading to LA to master their record, coordinating the effort to get said record off to manufacturing!
- Rock Band playing two gigs on Saturday (IndieFest and Cheers in Ramona)!
- preparing for the opening of the next incarnation of Java Joe’s!
- more kitchen experiments!
- National Poetry Month!
- baseball!

Some Fantastic “Mommy Blogs”
Although I have never given birth, have never dreamed of it, and have no plans to do so,  I have been captivated by the stories I’ve read on some of my favorite blogs about their journeys into and of motherhood.  Whether it’s the irreverent dooce describing her 2nd pregnancy just as her new book is released (written about the experience the first time around), the lovely Boho Girl discovering a boundless love with her adopted son, the sassy Schmoopy reaping the quiet happy moments with her little darling daughter, or my own sister detailing her life as a working mom of a great 11 year old boy, these women are inspirations simply in putting their words out there.  But more than anyone, Christina has written some of the most beautiful posts about her experience in these days (a month now!) since her 2nd child was born.  I’ve been a fan of her writing in general since I discovered her blog, but there is an extra edge, an extra vibrancy to these “Sprout” posts that are truly remarkable.  Thank you, ladies!

Hope to write again sooner than later!  Thanks for your attention if you made it all the way to the end!

 

birthday eve

Happy day before your birthday, Han!

Keeping a blog can sure remind you of the passage of time.  Lots of other things, too, but when you come back here and you realize your last post was February 12th, you just can’t believe it.  And I was going along so well with my every other day routine.  And I was writing some good stuff (I thought).

I wish I could tell you that after that last post, I had rushed to my desk and written 5 new amazing poems.  But that didn’t happen. So what have I been doing since February 12th?

In two words, cooking & reading.  There’s been other stuff in between, but those are the two things that first come to mind. When Han & I were first living together, he was repeatedly astonished at my lack of culinary skill.  That’s not to say he expected me to be in the kitchen to make sure his supper was ready on time, but in my single days, I just didn’t really cook much.  It was a lot of pasta and real simple stuff.  Stuff that he didn’t love.  He loves to cook but doesn’t have a lot of time for it.  Since we’ve moved in to this house (almost a year ago already!), I’ve made it a goal of mine to take on a lot more of the cooking and meal planning.  With DK a vegetarian again, that throws a curve into it all, too, but it all seems to be going okay.  I rely heavily on the internet, but Han recently had the idea to ask our family and friends to give us 5 recipes each.  So, there it is: if you’re reading this, please send me 5 of your favorite recipes, or recipes from your homeland (Mom, Mia) so we can expand our evening meals.  That said, our friend, John (of the gumbo-making) is in the kitchen right now making his sweet & smothered pork chops.  He told us that he didn’t have recipes written down but that he’d come over and make it and tell us what he was doing as he went along.   Yum.

Here’s a short list of some of the more interesting things I’ve made over the last 3 weeks:
- chicken stroganoff
- cashew chicken
- shrimp burritos
- chicken parmesan
- fish vera cruz

Tomorrow I plan to bake a cake for Han.  A chocolate peanut butter cake.  From scratch.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

On the reading front, I finished two books and will probably finish my other two by Sunday. [I've been keeping my Books page updated.] I try to read every spare minute, even when I’m waiting at traffic lights!  I’ve found it quite easy to keep up with all of the different stories.  This Sunday is my book club meeting (to discuss Away) and we’ll select a new book.  I’ll probably pick up a couple additional ones, too.  I’m loving the library!!

What else?  Han’s Acoustic Duo played a Valentine’s Day house concert, which went very well.   I had a day off for President’s Day.  I was part of a reading to celebrate the publication of an anthology I’m published in (more on that in another post to come).  And my parents celebrated their 44th wedding anniversary!

Speaking of parent, on the 21st, I drove up to LA to and spent the night at my folks house while my sister, her husband and her son were there for the day before they got on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera the next day.  We had a really great time.  We went out to lunch (MT & I had sushi), then my mom, sister & I went to see “He’s Just Not That Into You” (not bad).  I hadn’t planned to spend the night, but they applied heavy family pressure (not usual!) and we were having a great time, so I stayed.  We had In ‘n’ Out for dinner, then Red, Mom & I played Scrabble.  For the first time in quite a while, my mom did not win.  Red won the first game (with really awesome words!) and I somehow managed to win the second game.   In the morning, Dad made chocolate chip waffles (nostalgic!), eggs, bacon and sausage.  We hung out a bit and then I hit the road.  A very awesome visit!

That Sunday was the Oscars and Han & I watched them.  We thought they were great, including Hugh Jackman.  I read some blogs on the Monday following the show that just panned them, but I thought they were lovely.  Hooray for Kate Winslet.  I’d like to drink a pint with her.

From there, it was your basic week, except it was Marcia’s birthday! She was playing a gig with Barbara downtown so we went down to help her celebrate.  Before we arrived though, we made a stop at another place, which I can’t name yet, as it’s not opened.  But it’s the return of an establishment where I spent many many hours and where I met many of the people currently in my life.  The new location is downtown and the owners were working on some demolition to prepare for the opening (they’re shooting for early April).  They even let me do some demo of my own.  It was curiously satisfying to put a hammer through some drywall and do some damage!   After that, we made it to the bar, where we ended up hanging out for a long time.  Han actually sat in with Barbara & her band so it’s not like I could just leave (and not that I wanted to!).  It was a fun evening.  The night after that (the 27th for those keeping track), Han’s Rock Band had a gig which is always a good time.   

And then it was March!  This week marked the official start of the recording for the Acoustic Duo’s next album.  It will be a quick project, they have a mastering date set for the end of the month.  We want to have them ready for a festival they’re on in May in Texas.  I’m really looking forward to the record and all the hoopla that goes with it. 

Also, the Rock Band’s record is also progressing now.  Han is laying down his vocal tracks this week (sandwiched in between his various other projects).  Both these records will be coming out around the same time which should be interesting promotion-wise.  We’ll have to plan our attacks strategically so we don’t cannibalize the projects and the relatively limited availability of promoting avenues.

What else?  Han’s birthday is tomorrow!  The day is starting with a Rock Band photo shoot for the record.  I’ll make the cake and probably some other food.  We’ll have some people over then head to OB to catch our friends playing down at Winston’s.  Later that week, we’ll head to the Belly-Up to catch David Rawlings Machine (and Gillian will be there, too).  I plan to drive up to Tarzana the weekend after to see my old friend, Mindy, at a reading.  My nephew’s birthday is coming up too so I gotta get something in the mail for him.  A few Rock Band gigs.  An Acoustic Duo gig. And then I’m looking at April.  Somewhere in there, I have to also prepare my taxes (easy) and work on the ones for Han and his multiple businesses (hard), schedule my spa session, ship some stuff, set up my external hard drive, catch up on my Late Night with Jimmy Fallon shows as well as the U2 performances on Letterman, upload my photos to flickr, and of course, cook and read

 

work outings

Today, a rare work-related post.  Not about the work I do or where the work I do is located but the more generic business of office politics. [edited to add: that's what I thought this post would be about, but it ends up being more a statement on my life. stick with it]

In the last post, I mentioned how someone once called me a “joiner.”  That’s not really true anymore.  In fact, I try to keep to myself in most situations.  Even in social non-work situations, I’ll generally keep to myself or hang out with one or two people.  I am not as forthcoming with my heart as I once was and that has transcended into my work life to a degree.  Where many co-workers go out to lunch together, or perhaps get together after work for drinks or even hang out on the weekends, I choose not to participate in that casual kind of gatherings.  That is not to say I don’t have friends at work.  In fact, I’ve made some very dear friends from my work life, but they are a rare breed.  They have to not only hold my interest, but be willing to get to know me.  Sometimes, people aren’t willing to invest like that.  I’m a prime example.

So, today at work, there was talk amongst some of my co-workers about forming a bowling team.  There is an annual event, I think to raise money for Junior Achievement, in which various teams are formed from different departments.  There can be 5 people to a team.  I didn’t participate last year.  I had no desire to participate this year.  But since our department has grown significantly since last year’s event, we have enough people for 3 teams.  As different people were lobbying to secure their team, I was passed over.  One friend, someone I had also worked with in my previous job, and who has gotten to know me pretty well, joked and asked if I wanted to be on a team.  My response was, “I wasn’t even asked!”  That, to me, didn’t indicate that I wanted to be included, but rather that perhaps my co-workers know me well enough to know that I wasn’t interested. 

After it all shook out, everyone was on a team except one guy who’s wife is expecting their 2nd child on the day of the event and me.  And I’m totally fine with that.  I have very little desire to participate in these outings, and I’m hard-pressed to really explain why.  In one way, I think it’s that I don’t like big group activities, and yet, I love going to a friend’s house for a party (such as the Superbowl).  Overall, I think a lot of it is that I don’t want to know these folks socially.  And it’s really no judgment against them, I guess I just don’t want to go through the getting to know you process beyond what already has been learned in the work environment.  Is that terrible?  Upon writing it, I realize it’s very much the same feeling as not wanting to re-connect with people from high school.  Perhaps there is some judgment on my part in that I don’t think we have much in common so why force it?  I’m so much more interested in meeting and maybe getting to know some of the bloggers who I’ve come to read regularly.  With them, I have some background already, from their words, so I know there’s a better chance of finding common ground.  With my co-workers, in the day-to-day time spent with them, I can glean enough to know that the day-to-day stuff is good enough and I don’t need to go beyond it.  Man, I sound so bitchy.

But I wonder if there are others who feel this way? I think a lot of it started in my previous job.  I think I tried to connect with people, but my world was so different.  Back then, when I got home from work, I was already back out the door going to the coffeehouse or the bar to listen to live music or write or perform.  That world was so much more real to me, so much more meaningful.  My nightlife was how I lived, how I fed my soul.  My work life was how I sustained my nightlife.  I think that attitude has stuck with me through the years, though the nightlife has become more and more tame.

I like my current job and it can be fulfilling, but I’ve never wanted to consider it (or whatever I did as a way to earn my living) the end all be all of my existence.  Somewhere along the way, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to make my living as a poet, or rather that I didn’t have the steadfastness to do that.  The job I had before this one, I got while I was in college.  It was always meant to just be a way to make money.  I morphed it, over 14 years, to become a career that incorporated what I loved, writing.  But it wasn’t poetry, so I learned how to still do poetry, how to still consider myself a poet when I was away from my job.  And in that mindset, I was able to create the house concert series and build up my artistic self in that way.

In my current job, I’ve tried to connect the two worlds, the work world with my poetic/musical one, by inviting co-workers to events or letting them know about readings or other cool things (like hey, I know a Grammy winner! Incidentally, congratulations Awesome Mastering Guy!  He even got some TV air time when “Raising Sand” by Robert Plant & Allison Krauss won Album of the Year), but more often than not, their ‘after-work’ world doesn’t involve such events or happenings, so the cross-over rarely happens.  So maybe, that plays into my own reluctance to participate in work events that take us off-site or are beyond the normal scope of a work day.  As I’ve noted, I am not a fan of the holiday parties, the corporate shin-digs, though I can see why they do them and that many people truly dig them and look forward to them as part of their social scene.  I’m more interested in what goes on away from work, or rather, I’m more than content to have my work time and then to have my life time.  I enjoy them both for what they are and don’t feel obligated to make them one and the same.

This post turned into something else than I intended, but I’m still glad for it.  And I finally feel like this blog is becoming what I’d hoped it would be, a launching pad for my philosophies and a place to try to figure things out while still keeping my faithful readers up to date on what’s going on with me.

What this post has sparked in me is that notion of working to live rather than living to work.  I’ve always been a fan of the former, but it begs the question, am I feeding my soul the best I can once I depart that office building?  Is that philosophy producing any tangible contentment?  In the last couple years, maybe three or four, it feels like I’ve nearly shed that mindset, and become more of a drone than anything else.  And coupled with my inherent laziness, I’ve let it happen, and I realize that I’m not that stoked about it.  

But if I can identify that change, maybe it’s not a lost cause.  And maybe that’s why I wanted to start this blog in the first place, and why I made a Mondo Beyondo list this year.  The difference is the pressure I put on myself.  I spent so many years cultivating the poet and artist in me as who I was that when the muse was not as forthcoming with me, it became more and more difficult to manifest those qualities and so it feels (felt) like I couldn’t claim those titles anymore.  But in blathering on about this work situation, I realize that that’s still mainly how I see myself. 

Hmmm, I feel like I just had a kind of breakthrough.

 

shouldn’t my ears have been on fire?

About a month ago or so, Han got an email from his friend in Hollywood who also happens to be the guy that Han uses for mastering all of his clients’ projects.  This guy is phenomenal.  A real-life Grammy winner. A top dog. The real deal. And as I mentioned, also a friend.  He & Han have worked together for the last 12 years and they’ve built up a strong fellowship.  So, it’s natural that he was included on our list of people to receive our 2nd annual holiday CD.

[If I haven't mentioned it before, last year we decided to record a song and send that out as our holiday card, rather than just a card.  Yes, more expensive, but so much more meaningful (I think).  In 2007, DK & I traded verses on "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" while Han played a beautiful acoustic version of "Silent Night" in the background. Last year, we added on to it, with Han & DK doing a duet of "You Belong to Me" and then me reading an awesome poem I found by Timothy Steele called "Toward the Winter Solstice."  The cover of the CD is a picture of the three of us.  Aww.  So, the CD is recorded and duplicated. The photo is taken and reproduced.  I assemble the CD's and mail them. Lots of people got them.  Friends, family, business associates etc.  Our plan is to continue to add something new every year so we'll ultimately be able to release our own holiday album.  Hee!  But really, everyone will hear DK as she grows up and hopefully we'll capture some studio/holiday magic.  I'm already thinking about what I can do for this year's version.]

Back to the story. So Awesome Mastering Guy receives the CD and decides to have a listen to it while he has a moment.  He is set up in his superior mastering listening room.  Suddenly, some people show up to have a chat with him about their next project that he will work on.  They come into the listening room while Han & DK’s song is playing and instead of turning it off to attend to business, they keep listening to it.  They hear me read the poem and apparently (according to the email) are impressed and/or taken with my voice/performance of the piece.  I can only assume that Awesome Mastering Guy tells them who we are and what they’re listening to before they move to the reason they’re there.

Now who are these people?   Well…remember this?  That’s right.  It was only Robert Plant and Allison Krauss.  !!!!!!!  Insert your most flabbergasted exclamation here and then multiply it by about a million.  I know.  It blows me away, too.  When Han told me, I simply couldn’t comprehend it.  How does such a thing happen?  And yet, it is that very thing that does happen on occasion in this crazy little life of mine.

 

what’s in store

I’ve made a couple updates to two of my other pages.  I changed “Reading…” to “Books” and changed “Listening to…” to “Flicks.”   Check ‘em out if you’re so inclined.

I’ve also taken some time to put together a few lists.  Like my sister, I’m a big list-maker.   So I have a 2009 Goals list, a Mondo Beyondo list of sorts and a Mondo Beyondo travel list.

I didn’t make an MB list last year, though I thought about it.  And the one I created this year may be somewhat tame but I can always revise, add, delete etc.  I give myself permission to let it evolve over time : )  I did feel that I had to split it into two lists, one for overall dreams and one for travel.  The travel one incorporates places that Han has expressed interest in visiting too so it’s a combined list. Now that I think about it, I’ll probably make the MB lists have their very own page.

But first for 2009.  These range from the tangible to the ephemeral. Some may overlap here and there. Stay with me.  I’ll try to elaborate somewhat on the ways in which I would consider the less concrete ones to be successful.

1. Be active and healthy.
It’s no secret that getting up and moving your body makes you feel better.  I’m sad to say that my latest bout of inactivity (all of 2008 pretty much) causes the activity I do engage in to be more painful than pleasant and I’m tired of it.  I can make myself more aware of my body and do the things (big & small) to make it feel better:  walk, drink more water, eat more fruits & veggies, minimize portions, reduce sodas & sweets, stretch.  I’m allowing this goal to be far-reaching in its scope without pigeon-holing it into one specific success point (like a weight loss goal or to join a gym).  If those things come about due to this goal, great.  If not, I am counting on myself to find other ways to support it.

2. Focus on self-care.
Here’s the first instance of overlap.  Self-care goes hand in hand with being healthy.  But for me, this is more than just a health point. In the past, I’ve felt guilty if I took time to read some pages from a book.  I would beat myself up because I thought I should be doing something more productive.  My goal is to move beyond that self-criticism and acknowledge that hey, I love to read.  It soothes me, inspires me and can help change my mood. That’s some important shit!  And ultimately, not only helps me but everyone in my world.  If I’m happier overall, I’m much more likely to be pleasant to be around.  So that’s the point of self-care.  And as I referred to in an earlier post, I want to try to make it less about blocking time for “me” time, but simply incorporating the things that make me smile into the course of my day so it feels more natural and not forced.

3. Read 25 books.
Again with the overlap.  But you see how it fits in.  I would also like that list of 25 to include the entire Harry Potter series since I’ve not read any of them and I’m ready to take them on.

4. Travel.
Han will be going to Texas this spring with his Acoustic Duo and I would love to go along.  I’ve also talked with my sister about possibly meeting up somewhere in the US to take in a ballgame.  And who knows what else?  But this goal is always going to be on my list.

5. Get published outside of San Diego.
Here’s one with some specificity but still broad.  This goal will require some research and some discipline.  I’ve been published outside of SD before but I’m interested in organizing myself to a point where I can easily see that publication list and what poems are off the possibility list.  I’m interested in seeing what’s out there right now.  And I will also say that I will submit for both online & print but for me, print still seems more legitimate, as far as poetry standards.  Maybe that’s just me.

6. Find magic in each day.
Right.  What? This is my attempt to re-connect with my power of observation.  Something that once seemed so keen but has dulled.  This one is very subjective obviously.  It’s a reminder to myself to not get all hung up on the routine of daily living and to notice what’s going on around me.

7. Write.
Simple enough, right? Blog.  Journal.  Poems.  Letters.  Songs.  Emails. I’ve got plenty of words at my disposal.  I want to get familiar with them again.

8. Music business management & growth.
The Acoustic Duo, Rock Band and Studio will all need continued attention this year.  The AC and RB are both releasing albums this year so that will entail a lot of PR work.  The Studio will be launching its revamped website soon, too, and we’ll do some PR around that as well.  Should make for an exciting year!

9. New direction for Meeting Grace.
Since I’m no longer hosting house concerts, my website for the series has languished with inactivity since April.  I don’t want to give up the domain name (it’s up for renewal this month), but I’m not sure what to do with the site.  This goal is probably the one that needs the most immediate attention and the one I have the least idea about.  Any suggestions?

10. See 52 movies I’ve never seen before.
Thus the new “Flicks” page.  I love movies.  Especially good ones.  Since I don’t get much opportunity to actually go out to movies, I’ll rely on cable and the DVR for a majority of this one.  I should stipulate that this means that I watch the whole movie, preferably unedited, from start to finish.  That’s one movie a week.  I think I can do it

That’s it for 2009.  I’m excited about it!

And since this post has gotten long, I’ll just link to the new Mondo Beyondo page for you to check out my big dreams!

 

goodbye 2008

So this year sucked in a lot of ways. Every year always has its ups and downs but this year seemed like every time there was an up, the down was like a swift kick in the gut followed by a pummeling that left me exhausted for weeks.

As so many other blogs are doing (and why wouldn’t they), there are various re-caps, summing ups and favorites lists to send 2008 on its way. I will not deviate from that much, but I’ll first give my thoughts on some things I’m thinking about as the new year is but hours away for me.

My sister already has her “resolutions” in place. I put that word in quotations only because it’s become such a cliche. They are goals, things to look forward to, simple accomplishments and major ideas. As she said, “I have everything from “Eat at the Red Iguana” to “end the year lighter than I started it.”” I have not yet committed anything to paper or planner or blog, but the overall sense I have for 2009 in relation to making it a good year is self care. (did you see that, Mom?) I want to be more aware of the ways I can take care of myself so that I can be more joyous, more free, more loving, etc. These things, like so much in life, are big and small. A pedicure, a walk, a guilt-free day of reading, a movie, health…

There are other thoughts I have for ‘09 but that is the one that has been resonating the most these last few days. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have not fully committed to that concept this year, as much as I thought I was at some points. I need to find a way to integrate it into my daily life so that it’s not just about “me” time, but a shift in how I tackle all of my tasks. This realization has been slow-coming but, if successful, will help align a lot of things that frequently seem out of whack.

So on to the ‘08 re-cap. And speaking of “resolutions”, let’s look back at what I envisioned for this year:

1. Reduce my impact on the earth.
2. Read 20-25 books.
3. Get back to my poetry roots.
4. Better prepare for the holidays.
5. Take a couple trips.
6. Release “Best of Meeting Grace” volume 2
7. Acoustic Duo goals:
- book and route tours of TX, NoCal, Northwest and midwest
- book locally
- help coordinate recording of 5th studio album

8. Rock band goals:
- work to increase visibility of band
- help coordinate recording of 1st album
- book locally and potentially regionally

9. Studio goals:
- develop word of mouth campaign to attract new clients

# 1 (Reduce my impact on the earth.) was not as successful as I’d hoped. I do remember to take my own bags to the grocery stores if I’m planning a shopping trip, but the impromptu trips after work were not as “green” as I’d hoped. I also did not lose any weight, but instead probably gained some.

I got very close to accomplishing goal # 2 (Read 20-25 books.) I read 19 books this year which I’m thrilled about. I finished both books I was reading (The Story of Edgar Sawtelle and The Almost Moon) on Monday and thought I could speed-read one more to make my goal but it’s not going to happen. Still, I loved this reading goal and it will make a return appearance for ‘09.

Goal # 3 (Get back to my poetry roots.) started out strong. I had some readings this year, I wrote some new work, and I was published a couple times. All of that in itself is really great and I’m proud of it, but I guess compared to my more prolific “early” years, I may have been a bit too far-reaching in this goal. I need to understand that my place in and my stamina for the poetry scene I once flourished in is a journey that’s come to a close. That is not to say my writing is finished or anything, but I just need to shape it into something else. Maybe it’s not about attending readings, maybe it’s about being published more and finding a new connection to other poets who are out there. I have some ideas about this one as well for ‘09. Stay tuned.

I think I did pretty good with goal # 4 (Better prepare for the holidays.) Throughout the year I kept a list of gift ideas and a wish list (sometimes they overlapped). I also completed a homemade poem-a-month calendar (limited edition) for my immediate family which had been a goal of mine in ‘07 that crashed & burned. The CD we did for our family and friends was also really fun and very well-received. My shopping was done by early December and I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I will admit that I never felt the Christmas spirit and I’m sad about that. That is not to say I was unhappy or ungrateful, but there is just something in the season that I usually always feel and this year it did not shine through. This was another good goal and I bet I can improve on it for ‘09.

# 5 (Take a couple trips.) was accomplished. I heart traveling and wish I had the disposable income to back it up as much as I would like. And although some of the trips we thought we’d take at the beginning of the year didn’t actually happen, the fates still played roles in taking me (and sometimes Han & DK) to some interesting locations. Places I went in 2008:

- Las Vegas (June)
- Julian (June)
- Mansfield, Missouri (July)
- Clinton, Iowa (October)
- Redding, CA (November)
- Chico, CA (November)
- San Francisco, CA (November)
- various trips to LA over the year

It looks like there will be Texas, at least, in 2009, and maybe (hopefully) more.

# 6 (Release “Best of Meeting Grace” volume 2) was accomplished and with it came the close of Meeting Grace itself, the house concert series I had started in 2000. I miss it in some ways, but don’t in a lot of others. The compilation CD is awesome and I’m so glad to have the memories that each performance brings.

The Acoustic Duo goals for # 7 were mostly accomplished. They toured in the midwest and NorCal and made appearances at conferences in Texas and Arizona that will help boost their schedule in ‘09. Their local bookings all were great and they are still at work on that 5th album. It will be a high priority in early ‘09.

The Rock Band goals for # 8 were general and thus more “easy.” They played regularly in town, but LA is still a tough nut to crack. They are also still in the process of recording that first album which will make ‘09 a year for release parties and hopefully some good press.

# 9’s studio goals was solitary as it is a work in progress. The name changed and a new website is in the works. Clients have been steady and should only continue as Han continues to produce amazing sounding records. All of the music business goals will remain in place with hopes to be more strategic and prepare sooner for 2010, especially with regard to the Acoustic Duo.

And that’s that. Of course, aside from the goals I set for myself, there were some other happenings (minor & major) of 2008 in my small world.

- we staged two large Acoustic Duo shows with 350+ at each (February & August)
- I volunteered as a community reader at an elementary school in Chula Vista (February)
- hosted last Meeting Grace show (March)
- we moved (April)
- Rob & Paulette’s wedding (April)
- new babies for Laurel & Lee (April), Devon & Anna (July) & Rob & Paulette (September)
- hosted a fundraiser benefit show for Eric Lowen of Lowen & Navarro who has ALS that raised over $2,000 (April)
- all the family (including Mia) visit (April)
- Junior Theatre performances with DK : Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (crew – May) and CATS (pit singer – November)
- meeting many of Han’s close friends from high school at a memorial for his friend Paul (May)
- Jonny & Cathryn’s wedding (June)
- Robert Plant & Allison Kraus concert (June)
- Jenny & Brad’s wedding (July)
- Han getting Amy Tan’s autograph for me (September)
- visiting Alcatraz and seeing Lucinda at the Fillmore (November)
- Disneyland twice while it’s decorated for the holidays, once with S, T, Han & DK and again with just Han (November & December)

And in the larger world we share, the economic fall-out has been the story of the year, but I’d rather focus on the jubilation of electing Barack Obama as the next president of the United States and look forward to 1-20-09 when he is inaugurated.

Finally, I can’t possibly sum up this year without speaking about the deaths of family and friends, acquaintances and others that all happened this year. As of today, the count is 11 as another soul left us yesterday. Julie was a close friend of DK’s mom and a very special person to DK herself having known her since she was a small girl. I had met Julie a couple times when we had gatherings for DK’s birthday in the past. May she rest in peace along with:

Paul Lowry
Craig Yerkes
“Papa” Herman Light
Brendan Moran
Dan Ely
Wanda Light
Scott Zensen
Lorna “Doone” Hamilton
Cindy’s mom
Dave “Smitty” Smith

This ended up being a very long post but hey, I’m re-capping a whole year! Here’s wishing you (and me!) a more prosperous, more health-filled, more life-affirming, more positive, more productive, more rockin’, more loving, more blissful new year and may it all start right away!

 

another unexpected loss

Han called me from LA this afternoon where he is up doing some music work.  He called to tell me that he had learned that our friend Scott Zensen had died today of a heart attack.  He was 50. 

Scott came to my birthday show last week and was thoughtful enough to give me a book of poetry.  He was a very unassuming guy who absolutely LOVED the music scene here in San Diego, particularly the group of artists Han & I are very close to and connected with.  He maintained an online music ‘zine called MyWeek in Music and I contributed some poetry to it off and on.  I often wondered how he managed to stick with it.  It was a labor of love through and through.  His enthusiasm was pure and I know that everyone appreciated his support.

It is yet another shocking and sad death this year.  There have been way too many.

 

the zen of Space Mountain

I missed a day! But it’s all good. 

Thursday evening, me, Han & DK drove up to LA to my folks’ house where my sister had arrived to retrieve her boy who has been here with the g’parents since early November. We hung out a bit then, Han & I went to our hotel and DK got to stay at the house.  The plan was to meet at Disneyland at 9 am to get going on the joy.

I was still pretty tired from my birthday night, which was really fun. My little tribe all came out and the music was exceptional.  I even got up and performed my part on the Cathryn Beeks Ordeal song “Rescue Me.”  It was a rush and really fun to perform in front of such an inviting crowd and knowing I was among people who care about me.  I maintained through the night, remembering to drink water between drinks.  My drink of choice was vodka/cranberry and they were tasty : )  But when the show lasts ’til 1 am and then you do the requisite curbside hangout after the gig, it means you don’t go to sleep until 3 or so.  And I had to work the next day.  I was draggin’ but managed to get a lot done.

So now it’s Friday morning, and the plan, as I mentioned was to meet at 9 am.  Well, my alarm does not go off and I wake up and see that it’s 8:22 am. Panic ensues.  It doesn’t matter your destination, when you don’t wake up on time, your day is already a bit skewed.  S, T & DK were already at the park when I called at 8:25am, just getting to the parking lot.  So Han & I rushed to get there and met up with them by 9:30 or so. Okay, crisis over, but not the start we wanted.

But then, something great happened. We got on Pirates in less than 5 minutes, and then did the same thing on Haunted Mansion, Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain.  It was awesome!  We expected it to be insanely crowded because it was the start of their holiday decor and special shows etc.  But it stayed like that most of the day.  ToonTown is where we waited the longest, and frankly, I could have easily skipped that part, but the kids were into it so that was cool.

Then there was some downtime, for me at least.  They rode Matterhorn (too bumpy for me), then the kids did Autopia and then S & T did the submarine.  DK did rockets & S & T did the Astro Blasters. I was just waiting for Space Mountain.  I think Haunted Mansion is my favorite because it’s the one I buy into the most every single time.  And now that it’s decorated as “Nightmare Before Christmas,” it’s even cooler.  But Space Mountain is spectacular.  It’s been improved over the years and now the music, lights and build-up really make it awesome.  When I ride the other coasters, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, California Screamin (in CA Adventure), I scream and love the wind whipping past me.  But I noticed that on Space Mountain, I don’t scream.  Maybe a little flutter here or there but not like the others.  It’s dark and cool and the speed is almost soothing.  I keep my eyes open and my arms up and let it take me through its curves and twists.  It’s relaxing and thrilling at the same time.  It was exactly what I needed.

From there, we went to Fantasyland where S & T rode Dumbo while Han, DK & I rode the Snow White & Pinochio rides.  When it’s not as crowded like it was yesterday, I am so much more interested in the details.  Every single thing in the whole park has a purpose, whether it’s to contribute to the magic or to just be aesthetically pleasing.  Now that we have annual passes again, I’d love to use one visit at least to just focus on those little things and the art that may often be overlooked.  Like the water fountain right inside the castle that has a bronze miniature statue of Sleeping Beauty and the Prince dancing.  Lovely.

Then it was time for Han & I to leave the group and head to his gig with the Acoustic Duo. Through no fault of our own but attributing it all to being outside the Magic Kingdom and back in the ‘real world’, things did not go smoothly.  We couldn’t find coffee, traffic was really heavy around the resort area and we didn’t have time to get anything to eat.  Once we left for the gig, about 1/2 an hour later than we had planned, we were greeted by bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway we had to take.  What should have been a 30 minute drive ended up being a 75-80 minute drive.  And it wasn’t just that.  It was that there was no reason.  We never saw an accident or any other kind of reason for the hold-up.  And it was the kind of drive where when you changed lanes to get into the one that was moving, it immediately stopped and the lane you’d been in starts flowing.  It made for a frustrating drive not to mention the added anxiety of knowing we would be late.

But…once we got there (C was already there), it was fine.  The opener had also been in traffic and was just getting her sound check.  We unloaded, set up and had time to spare before they opened doors. The show itself was great.  The people (in the audience and at the venue) just loved ‘em.  We’ll be able to go back and play there again and hopefully start to build up a good following there.  The venue itself is really cool.  It’s an old music store and world art & artifiact museum. Lots of cool African masks, old drums and various other stuff.  I took photos of the luthier work area in the back and some of the masks and old bells and stuff that were around.

The drive back to Anaheim was way easier.  We got some fast food and watched TV until we fell asleep.

This morning, I drove back to my folks’ place to see my sister & T off.  We decided to let DK sleep in.  They ended up staying at the park ’til about 11:30 pm and they were exhausted.  So she’s asleep, my folks took S & T to the airport.  I’ll be here when they get back then DK & I will head back to the hotel to collect Han and then head back to San Diego.

My goals for the weekend are to organize myself, clean the house and do some music business work that I need to catch up on. 

And when I start to feel anxious about something, I’ll do my best to remember that feeling of closing my eyes just for a moment and taking a deep breath as the countdown begins (5, 4, 3, 2…) and Space Mountain unleashes its sleek speed and I drink in the controlled recklessness.

 

April showers

This morning on the way into work, it sprinkled a little. When I looked to my left, I saw a full rainbow arcing over the Miramar air field. I had to smile.

Hello again. I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. It’s been so long that WordPress went and changed their interface so I’m trying to figure out where everything is again.

I’ve missed writing here, but sometimes life just gets in the way! So much has transpired and instead of a long potentially boring post, I’d rather just touch on a few significant things that happened. Another redux if you will. The other day, I even jotted down some notes so I would have a guideline, as opposed to random rambling. So, in no particular order, the things that have taken my attention, distracted me from writing here:

- the wild splashes of color on the hillsides and along the freeways
I love spring in San Diego, if I were any kind of photographer, I would share photos of these bursts of color with you here

- moving
Although the official move was March 30th, the whole month was centered around that event. Packing, purging, figuring out finances (moving is always more expensive than you think it will be), exhaustion, grief, the promise of a new start.
In our new place the other night, we contemplated how we felt. I was surprised when Han said he missed the old house and its funkiness. Me? I straddle the dichotomy. I certainly miss the charm and old style of that old Craftsman, but there is a part of me that relishes this new space. Its bright & open spaces, making it ours from the ground up. And the one thing I LOVE is all the light it gets. Plus we are closer to the ocean now and all seems right.

- Baseball is back
I love that baseball is back in action. I can look forward nearly every night to catching the game on our HD television or listening to it on the AM dial. It’s a true pleasure. Go Padres!

- Steve Earle & Allison Moorer at the Belly-Up
I bought tickets to this show for Han for his birthday. The show was on Easter Sunday. I am a huge fan of Steve Earle and have followed his career since I was in college. I’ve seen him numerous times in a variety of venues. His sister has played at my house concert series. His songs are amazing. His politics are right on for me and I just think he’s great. This show, his wife, Allison Moorer, joined him. She opened the show and then came out and sang with him on a few songs. It was just him, no band (though they rock!). The only other accompaniment he had was a DJ who put down some beats. It was okay, but I didn’t love it. He’s much better on his own. He opened with some of his classic tunes (“Goodbye”, “Someday”, “The Devil’s Right Hand”, “Billy Austin”). Then he did several from his new album. It was a great show. At the end of the evening, he came back for an encore and told an incredibly poignant story about the men of his family. How he missed out on most of both of his sons’ lives and how his own father would drive 1000 miles just to see him perform. He went on to say that he’d lost his father around Christmas and that he and his sons had just gone out for steak dinners to celebrate their birthdays. It was such a moving story. I couldn’t help but weep. For his loss, for his life, for my own father and his support of everything I’ve ever done. Then he played “Little Rock ‘n’ Roller”, a song he’d written for one of his sons, who he rarely saw because he was on the road. It was a really incredible moment.

- return of Java Joe’s at the Handlery
Java Joe’s, first in Poway, then in Ocean Beach, was an acoustic music mecca. Its existence helped facilitate my meeting almost every person I love the most in this world, especially Han. When he closed his last place, a bar in the college area, it was a sad time. But then, this little hotel lounge got the idea to have live music. And Han got the idea to hook them up with Java Joe and so it goes. Java Joe hosted an evening of music at the Handlery Lounge with about 25 artists doing 2 songs each. It was the return of Java Joe’s and it was great. It works perfectly for Joe because he doesn’t have to worry about the business side of things, just the music side which is what he always loved in the first place.

- Han’s birthday
Birthdays are always tricky. He wants the attention, but wants it to come unbidden. He doesn’t want to be involved in the planning but he wants to know that something is being planned. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? On top of it all, he wasn’t feeling very well, so I had to make sure we didn’t do anything to crazy. So I planned a gathering of our good friends at a great sushi place in PB. I got the tickets to the concert as I mentioned and then the other gift was a group effort. I asked a bunch of friends to send their thoughts, stories, photos, well wishes to Han. I compiled them and put them all in a binder. It went over very well. Who wouldn’t love a whole book full of stories saying how great you are?

- Laurel’s baby shower
One of the people I adore who I met at the aforementioned Java Joe’s many years ago. She’s expecting her first baby next month and her mom hosted a baby shower for her. We don’t see each other too often anymore, but it doesn’t matter. We’ve shared a lot over the years, been there for each other’s ups and downs, she was even my roommate for a while. As a rule, I hate baby showers, but this one was fine and I wouldn’t have missed it.

- T’s birthday
My nephew turned 10 years old in March. He lives in SLC so I don’t get to see him very often. He’s coming to visit with his mom in a couple weeks and I can’t wait to see them both. He’s a good boy, avid reader with a vivid imagination. He likes sports and music. Although we’re not super close, I’ve enjoyed seeing how his personality has developed and am proud to be his aunt.

- last house concert
With moving came the last house concert for my series, Meeting Grace. I invited a bunch of San Diego singer-songwriters (most of whom I met at Java Joe’s!) and those who could make it showed up to play a few songs. The main act was Berkley Hart and the night was dubbed Berkley Hart & Friends. That whole day was pretty hectic and I barely had a minute to let myself ponder what was really happening until I got up to speak at the beginning of the evening. I lost it, started crying in front of all the lovely people. They understood. Toward the end of the evening, I was sitting outside by myself, on the side porch so I could still hear the music. Berkley Hart ended the whole thing with “This Land is Your Land” and I cried again, this time more robustly, for the house, for the house concert, for the music that has filled my life for the last 8 years, for all the people who had called that house home over the years, for all the people who had joined me for the house concerts and who helped make it such a success. I needed to do that and it felt great.

- my reading at Rebecca’s
On March 18th, I was the featured reader at Poetic Brew which takes place at Rebecca’s in South Park. I can’t quite explain the absolute rush and simultaneous comfort I felt by being on stage and performing again. I was really in the zone that night. It was wonderful to have some good friends in the audience as well as Han & DK. There were other poets there from back when I first started, the people who initially encouraged me to keep at it. They still are and it’s immeasurable to have their support.
When I was unpacking, I was working on a box of books. I keep separate the books I have been published in and I was filled with the desire to really go for it again, be it publishing or reading out. I think in this new space, I can forge a new habit that will build on this rekindled fire.

- the Garbette wedding
“Garbette” is the combination of our two friends’ names, a la “Brangelina”. Their wedding was last Saturday and although we didn’t get a chance to stay for the whole reception, the ceremony was lovely, all of our friends in attendance, to celebrate the union of a fine couple. These two have been together a while and she is expecting their first baby later this year. The wedding made it all “official” but everyone already knew they were a match. Still, it was a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

- Eric Lowen Trust Benefit concert
In all of my in-between time, I’ve been planning this benefit show that’s happening this Saturday night. It’s for a musician named Eric Lowen who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 4 years ago. It’s been heartbreaking to see his deterioration over time, but his spirit & character have only gotten stronger. My house concert series and another one here in town are co-presenting Berkley Hart & Joel Rafael. All proceeds are going to Eric’s trust that is helping to pay his medical bills and support his family. I’m sad to say that I have not had many pre-sale tickets and absolutely no press coverage. I’m hoping that people choose to come to the show and pay at the door. We’ll see how it goes.

That’s a good re-cap of what’s been happening since we last met. Still on the horizon:

- taxes: doing them this weekend, ick
- a visit from my aunt Mia from Sweden, plus my sister & T and my parents
- book club coming up on Sunday. We’ll discuss “The Thirteenth Tale” which I finished last week. At that, I’ll get to see Heather who’s birthday was last Sunday.
- label showcases for both the bands I work with
- DK starts up with crewing again for the next JT production
- a reading to celebrate the publication of this year’s San Diego Poetry Annual
- a road trip out to Joshua Tree for a show
- Han setting up shop in the new place
- finalizing the house and getting rid of the remaining boxes
- maybe attend a baseball game or two?

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I promise not to take so long until the next post