haunted # 19 & # 20 – ghostly phrases

# 19

Ghost in the Machine

Yes, a great album by The Police, but what does it mean?  I have always thought that this phrase stemmed from an explanation of sorts to define metaphorically why computers or other technological equipment have their occasional quirks.  However, in researching the phrase today, I didn’t find anything like that.

I did find some great references though that do  explain the phrase.  I link them here rather than trying to re-hash the psychological arguments that the phrase relates to:

http://garydexter.blogspot.com/2009/07/114-ghost-in-machine-by-arthur-koestler.html

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/51/messages/1003.html

http://www.word-detective.com/back-y.html

In a nutshell, however, the “ghost” is the spirit and the “machine” is the body.  It’s an interesting concept.

But back to The Police.  It turns out Sting, being a well-read man, read Koestler which inspired much of the music (and of course, the title) of the 1981 album.  Consider the titles:

1. “Spirits in the Material World” – 2:59
2. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” – 4:22
3. “Invisible Sun” – 3:44
4. “Hungry for You (J’aurais Toujours Faim de Toi)” – 2:52
5. “Demolition Man” – 5:57
6. “Too Much Information” – 3:43
7. “Rehumanize Yourself” (Sting, Stewart Copeland) – 3:10
8. “One World (Not Three)” – 4:47
9. “Ωmegaman” (Andy Summers) – 2:48 (“Omegaman” on some editions)
10. “Secret Journey“– 3:34
11. “Darkness” (Copeland) – 3:14

The whole album is a study in the technology of the world and how we interact with it.  And remember, this was 1981!  Think of how much more technology is embedded in our daily lives now and how some of us rely on it so heavily.  Smart rock.

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# 20

Give Up the Ghost

Another interesting phrase.  A euphemism for dying, or for something mechanical to quit working (maybe I was mixing up my meanings of ‘ghost in the machine’ with ‘give up the ghost’).

The phrase is in the King James Bible, but has an alternate metaphorical meaning (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/155500.html) to not be living and not able to become a ghost.

Again, I’ve always had somewhat of a different understanding of the phrase.  I interpreted it to convey or include a willingness to be finished or done.  As in the person who died or the item that shuts down is simply ready to do so and is okay with it.

It seems, from a literal standpoint, to be backwards.  If you give up the ghost, aren’t you really choosing the corporeal over the ethereal?  Still it’s a lovely phrase, alliterative, evocative.

 

haunted # 18

Your Ghost
written & performed by: Steve Poltz
for John Lentz

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

And i can’t explain it there’s so much i could say to you
And so much is left unsaid and there’s nothing i can do
Nothing i can do yeah

I played your song last night and drank down my last beer
Skyway by westerberg but you weren’t there to hear
And i thought i saw an angel with you in the back
But when they turned the light down everything went black

And i thought of your mum and dad in you hometown
And your lovely sister and it slowly brought me down
Only brought me down yeah
I’d think of your sweet smile and how perfectly it fit
To you the world was a cookie jar and you had your hands in it

And i wish that i could take all the guns in this sick place
And melt them into coins and buy compassion for the human race
And i know that it sounds cliche but I’m tired of this violence
And the view is much different when your inside of the fence
I’m on the side of the sick fence yeah

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

 

haunted # 12 – 17

I apologize for the lack of updates.  But I’m trying to make up for it with different ‘haunting’ moments for each day.  I hope you enjoy.

# 12

Marc Tiesen

Marc Tiesen was one of Han’s best friends in and after high school.  They were in bands together, wrote songs, got into trouble.  Sadly, Marc died 20 years ago from heart failure.  As long as I’ve known Han, I’ve known Marc’s name.  Over the years, I’ve met his mother and his sister.  One of Han’s songs was inspired by Marc.  It was actually the melody and some minimal lyrics that Marc came up that Han then finished after Marc’s death.  The Rock Band actually recorded the song on their CD.

With the advent of Facebook and its scary way of bringing people out of the woodwork, many of Han’s old friends have re-surfaced, some with the intention of putting together a tribute show to Marc.  One of these friends, Eric, came over last weekend.  He had also been in the bands along the way.  With him, he brought some old recordings, including one of the song that Marc improvised during a live show that became the complete song that Han recorded with Rock Band.  Han & Eric were in the other room, talking and reminiscing, then suddenly I heard the song, but it was really just the chorus that I recognized, the lilt and inflection of the melody.  And it was Marc.  I had never heard his voice before and the sensation that I felt was amazing, so I can only imagine how intense it was for Han to relive the moment and contemplate the years that have since passed.  Han explained that it was a live performance in front of a huge crowd and they were improvising and Marc just came up with this melody and these vague words.  I could tell it was really moving for Han to hear it.  Sometimes haunting is not scary, but beautiful.

~~~~

# 13

Thirteen great Halloween movies

I tried to make this list be just scary kind of haunting movies, but I couldn’t help throwing in a few funny ones.  These are all great flicks to get in the Halloween spirit.

1. The Others – One of Nicole Kidman’s best, and directed by a Chilean-born but raised in Spain director, his only English-speaking movie.  It is a classic suspense movie and I was not ready for the twist at the end.  Love this movie.

2. The Skeleton Key - I happened upon this one on cable one morning and was intrigued right away.  Old New Orleans, voodoo tales, and another nice twist.  I like Kate Hudson and she does a good job with this one.

3. Poltergeist - Still one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen, and one of the major reasons that clowns scare the crap out of me.  A true classic.

4. The Exorcist - I remember trying to watch this as a kid and just couldn’t get through it.  When I got older, I got through it, and it is scary.  As time has gone on, the effects may not be so magical, but it is the atmosphere and the mood of it all that heightens the fear for me.  I also think Exorcist 3 could be in the list.

5. What Lies Beneath - A suburban tale with Harrison Ford & Michele Pfeifer with that scary bathroom scene.  I will always watch this one when I find it on cable.

6. The Shining – Between scary Jack Nicholson, weird Shelly Duvall, and the haunted hotel, this movie, another classic, mixes the insane with the terrifying.

7. The Omen - I still can’t watch this movie after seeing it just the one time when I was younger.  This movie has always set the bar for me as a story of  pure evil.  Bad Damien.

8. 1408 - I saw this one recently.  It’s not super scary, but it’s a good story and an interesting concept.  I thought John Cusack was good in it.

9. (now the fun ones): Practical Magic - I adore this movie.  Between Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (again!), you’ve also got Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, plus ghosts, magic and rituals.  Always a great one for Halloween.

10. Hocus Pocus – Another one that I will always watch if it’s on.  The threesome of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker as three witchy sisters who come back to Salem after 300 years is just a good time.

11. The Witches of Eastwick - More Jack Nicholson and another Michelle Pfeifer film.  Well, plus Cher & Susan Sarandon.  These ladies conjure ol’ Jack and represent the ideal females, but their wiles work even on the devil.  Who can get over that cherry scene?

12. Beetlejuice - Poor ghosts Geena Davis & Alec Baldwin can’t scare away the family who’s moving into their house.  Winona Ryder can see them, but it takes Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice to make things happen.  Catherine O’ Hara is classic in this one and the “Day-O” scene in the dining room still makes me giggle.

13. Scrooged - A double whammy since this one’s also good for Christmas.  I just saw this one again recently.  All the ghosts of Christmas are great and Bill Murray is great as the mean Frank X. Cross.

~~~~

# 14

The Haunted Mansion

I’m pretty sure I’ve confessed my love for this classic Disneyland ride more than once, but it truly is my favorite ride there.   It’s a complete experience even from the line.  I love how you don’t see the people getting off the ride and everything in between.  And I still hold that sometimes, there’s a knock on my doom buggy.

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#15

Lizzie Borden

Because we share the same name, I’ve been curious about this story for a while.  Last year, I did some research about it as I thought I might be her for Halloween.  We all know the rhyme, but as it turns out Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the crimes of killing her father and stepmother, though it was 1892 and the forensic evidence at the time wasn’t the greatest.  She went on to live a quiet life, supporting the arts and allegedly having an affair with an actress.  Her story, though, is still intriguing because the case was never solved and the story is still a mystery.  The house where the murders took place is now a bed and breakfast.  Is it haunted?

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# 16

Oingo Boingo

If you want music for your Halloween party, just throw on “Dead Man’s Party” or really any of the soundtracks Danny Elfman has created, mostly with Tim Burton (who should probably have his own category in my haunted theme).

In 1985, my family moved from Idaho to California.  I began to listen to KROQ and discover my affection for new wave music, including OB.  When I started high school, I met a guy who also liked them.  Oingo Boingo did annual Halloween shows and sometimes New Year’s Eve shows.  I think I saw one of each.  The one I remember was in Long Beach and the Untouchables opened the show.  What a great time, what a great band.  Twisted and loud, horns and angst, soul and ska.  I always think of them and their music around this time of year because their style (t-shirt designs, album artwork) generally had a lot of skulls and Dia de los Muertos kinds of motifs.  They rocked.

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# 17

The Great Pumpkin

Though not a true “haunted” thing, the Great Pumpkin is irrevocably tied to Halloween thanks to the Peanuts gang.  You gotta love Linus.

(p.s. I realize that Jack Skellington or “The Nightmare Before Christmas” should be included somewhere this month, but I’m afraid to admit that I have never seen it, so I don’t feel I have any authority to reference it).

 

haunted # 5 & # 6 – tattoo and a song

# 5

I have a tattoo.

It’s a feather pen & ink-pot that was drawn for me by a friend in college. I got the ink during a spring break trip to Seattle with 4 of my closest friends at the time, though I can’t remember if it was my junior or sophomore year. All but one of us got tattoos that day, different designs, though I believe we got them all in the same location on our bodies. I’ve never regretted getting my tattoo. It is a symbol of who I’ve always been, who I always will be, in some ethereal way or other, even if it’s a state of mind. They say that once you get one, it won’t be long until you get others. That was true for the other 2 girls who went on to get more ink, though I’m not sure about the guy. As for me, I never really thought about getting another one. I had a design in mind, but it wasn’t as compelling to me.

I’ve been reconsidering that lately after two things happened.

First: I got a comment on an old post from February, 2008. The commenter was very nice and had been captivated, so to speak, by not only the passage from Divisadero that I posted, but also the last lines of the poem I’d posted to go with it. Fittingly enough for this post, the poem is called ‘to a ghost.’ In the passage from the book, the last line is: “So we fall in love with ghosts.” And the last lines of my poem are: “let us stand together/each with skin/harboring our ghosts.” The comment (thanks, Julie!) was just great, one of those kinds of comments every blogger wants, where you realize that something you’ve written has connected with someone out there. Someone you don’t know and probably never will outside of the words that have been shared. She wrote: “I stumbled across your blog and instantly my brain went ! when I saw the quote you posted from Divisadero. It’s one of my all time favorite passages from a novel-so much so that I have ‘So we fall in love with ghosts.’ tattooed on me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that your poem is incredible and I’ve had the last three lines running through my mind since I’ve read it, as I often think about people as ghosts and the ways in which we haunt each other.” Wow, right?

So I was intrigued by the idea of actually having a tattoo that was words. I’m sure that sounds dumb, people get words tattooed all the time, but I usually just think of people’s names or gang affiliations.

Second: Then I saw these two posts from Molly (one, two). And I was blown away. What an amazing idea! I immediately started thinking of the possibility of adding words to my body. And though I’m thoroughly intrigued by the layering effect that Molly’s tattoo has, I think I’d want to be able to read the words, and have others be able to read the words should it be visible to them.

This idea will not see fruition for a while for several reasons, but the primary one being that I really need to know what I want to be inked on my skin permanently. There are candidates, of course, already but I think it will be a fun thing to think about for a while.

~~~~

#6

The Ghost in You
written by: John Ashton, Richard Butler, Tim Butler
originally performed by: The Psychedelic Furs

a man in my shoes runs a light and
all the papers lied tonight but
falling over you is the news of the day

angels fall like rain
and love is all of heaven away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

a race is on, I’m on your side and
hearing you my engines die
i’m in a mood for you for running away

stars come down in you
and love…you can’t give it away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

don’t you go it makes no sense when
all your talking supermen just
take away the time and get in the way

ain’t it just like rain
and love…is only heaven away

inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
the ghost in you she don’t fade
inside you the time moves and she don’t fade

 

haunted # 4 – Janis Joplin

My love for October and Janis Joplin have been well documented on my blog. These are truths of me, glimpses
into my core. I can’t help it. The Janis thing has been with me probably since the last year of high school or early college. Her voice unleashed something raw and beautiful, or at least made me recognize it when I saw it.

She was damaged and struggled throughout her life to come to terms with who she was, fighting her insecurity, but one thing she had was ambition and total balls. She was a contradiction and I can appreciate that. I can aspire to her best parts and learn from the others.

Today is the 39th anniversary of her death. I have pictures of her here at the house, a lovely framed shot of a photo I hadn’t seen of her before. Han got it for me last year.

I also have a smaller photo of her on my desk that was a gift from my friend, Robt. I can’t actually find a shot of it online to share here. So I guess you could say she’s always around and that’s good for me. I found a couple other shots that I like.

And of course, there’s plenty of stuff all over YouTube. I selected this one (couldn’t get it to embed), which is from the Dick Cavett show done about 2 months before she died. She looks happy to me, in full Pearl mode.

And, of course, there has been poetry. Mentions of her or straight out about her. I’ll leave you with this one. Rock on, Janis.

Visitors

full moon tonight is a pearl
by another name
this woman’s voice
ghost in my living room
happy with whiskey & wine
while I
boil spaghetti & drink milk
stand at my open door
let pearl moonlight edge
brightly over my threshold
along with strange city heat
not sultry
but angelic
warm breath of a lover
& night colors
no master can capture
purple grey of diffused moonlit clouds
most people would simply call blue

silver veil draped over bright white
casts shadows that trace my silhouette
tease my toes in their darkness
caress my neck with its texture
voice takes to the sky
she’s here with me
in the spaghetti I make
in the people I kiss
in the car I drive
in the songs I sing
in the prayers I taught to myself
in my belly
under my skin

I am hypnotized by pearl
the moon
the ghost

- Lizzie Wann (1997)

(man, the poems I’m posting are all old! maybe time to write some new ones?)

 

somewhat restorative weekend, US Open & Harry Potter

I finally started the 7th book in the Harry Potter series.  The reason I waited a bit between reading the book and seeing the 6th movie was because I had a feeling I would get really sucked in.  And that’s exactly what happened.  I think I started it on Saturday and I’m nearly 3/4 done already.  I just couldn’t put it down.  It was even a weighty decision tonight whether to post something here or dive back in with Harry so close to finding another Horcrux.

That’s what I did all weekend.  Most of it.  Friday night, we ate a nice dinner (I made cashew chicken).  Saturday, we met with a woman who’s helping to promote a show later this month.  After that, I was reading and had the US Open constantly.  How about that Melanie Oudin?  I like that girl.  Good for her.  Saturday night, Han had a gig but I stayed home and continued reading and watching and just being mellow.

Sunday morning, the Acoustic Duo were on a local morning TV show to promote the upcoming San Diego Music Awards (Thursday!).  Both the Acoustic Duo AND the Rock Band are nominated for Best Album (Americana/Country for AD and Rock for RB) for their respective albums that we released earlier this year.  Plus a bunch of folks that Han produced are nominated, too.  It’s usually a fun, kind of weird night.  No one knows whether to take it too seriously or to just blow it off, but I think everyone secretly wants to win, for whatever reason.  I know I wanted to win when I was nominated way back when for Best Local Recording for my first CD (another Han production, his first actually).   Anyway, so Sunday was the TV spot, then it was home for a bit.  I went grocery shopping and Han had a session.  I had loftily thought I would make it up to Escondido to go to my dear friend Robt’s reading, but it was not in the cards.

That evening, I put forth the effort to recreate a recipe that our dear Louisiana friend once made for us: sweet smothered pork chops.  It came out pretty good, so I was pleased with it.

And Monday…a day off.  Slept in a bit, kept reading, more tennis.  Except, another weird health issue, so to speak.  My nose really hurt.  Like I’d been punched in the face (but I hadn’t been).  Tenderness across the bridge of the nose, and very sensitive should I “crinkle” my nose.   Monday was not the first day of this, it’d been like that for a couple days and it’s happened before, but on Monday, the weather changed, and with it came multiple sneezes and lots of congestion for me.  With a tender nose, this was not good times.   I took ibuprofen, I called the doctor (who said to take ibuprofen and an allergy pill).  I even tried the neti pot.  There was some relief but with the nose pain and the congestion, plus I took the one heavy duty allergy pill I had left, I wasn’t doing anything or going anywhere.  We’d been invited to Cathryn’s for a bbq.  Han went with DK.  I stayed on the couch.  I dozed heavily between chapters and matches.

On the one hand, it really sucked to feel laid up a bit.  But on the other hand, I relished it.  I didn’t email, I didn’t work, I didn’t busy myself.  That alone made it a good weekend.  I also tried to be really conscious of what I ate and drank.  Lots of water and single, smaller portions of whatever I was eating.  Han & I also talked about trying to walk every afternoon when I get home from work.  Small steps.

Today was DK’s first day of 7th grade at her new performing arts school.  She was not thrilled with all the rules and regulations that took up all of the class time, but her classes include theater, dance, English, world history, etc.  It’ll be good.

Han is up at another studio tonight working with a client on some piano tracks ’til late tonight.  Rafael Nadal just beat Monfils.  It may be time to get in a chapter or two (or five or six) and then answer some emails and do some other tasks for the music stuff.   Bona nit!

 

7-8-9

Too bad I wasn’t writing this at 4:56, then it would be 4:56, 7/8/09.  Or maybe waited 10 more minutes and it would be 7/8/09, 10:11.  That one’s cooler.

Anyway…one last comment about MJ, now that my mom, my dad, my sister and my aunt have all posted.  I was glad (from the parts I saw and what Han described) that it seemed, as much as it could, like a family funeral, with a mostly dignified respect that everyone deserves.   Of course, hearing his daughter speak was powerful and I definitely feel for the kids.   I have the same kind of feeling I had after Kurt Cobain died.  His daughter was only 2 years old.  She’s 17 now and I have a feeling we’ll be hearing about her more as she gets older.  I think the same will be true of Michael’s kids.  May they retain a  groundedness that they seem to have already (somehow!).

Beyond that, I don’t have much to say really.  More and more I’m striving to find a measure of joy in each day.  My sister has a simple one line note on her blog called “Today’s Joy.”  I like that idea.  Perhaps I will try to emulate it.  Perhaps if I am aware that I should notice where the joy is in my daily hours, it will become easier to only see that.

Today’s joy: Han making chocolate chip waffles for dinner (and noting that he knows they’ll probably never be as good as my dad’s).

 

pacing the cage

“Pacing the Cage came pretty quick, unlike some of these other ones that, where ideas sat around for a long time. I had remarked to the person that I was with at the time, um, not in reference to being ‘with’ her but with reference [laughs] to my life in general that I felt like I was pacing the cage. I was just, I mean there was a lot about the way I was living at the time that just wasn’t working and I was really feeling that and that’s pretty much the song. You know, I don’t think those feelings were unique to me, or unique to that time and place, they’re, they’re feelings that everybody, I think, well as its says in the song: sooner or later it’s going to get ya. Um, hopefully not for long and not often, you know but….”

- Bruce Cockburn – from “Songwriting (part 2)” workshop, Conference ‘98 Festival of Faith and Writing, Lab Theatre, Calvin College. 4 April 1998.

Pacing the Cage

Sunset is an angel weeping
Holding out a bloody sword
No matter how I squint I cannot
Make out what it’s pointing toward
Sometimes you feel like you live too long
Days drip slowly on the page
You catch yourself
Pacing the cage

I’ve proven who I am so many times
The magnetic strip’s worn thin
And each time I was someone else
And every one was taken in
Powers chatter in high places
Stir up eddies in the dust of rage
Set me to pacing the cage

I never knew what you all wanted
So I gave you everything
All that I could pillage
All the spells that I could sing
It’s as if the thing were written
In the constitution of the age
Sooner or later you’ll wind up
Pacing the cage

Sometimes the best map will not guide you
You can’t see what’s round the bend
Sometimes the road leads through dark places
Sometimes the darkness is your friend
Today these eyes scan bleached-out land
For the coming of the outbound stage
Pacing the cage
Pacing the cage

 

frenzy

I find the frenzy over Michael Jackson’s memorial service completely ridiculous. It’s true that nearly everyone in my generation owned a copy of “Thriller” (though I prefer “Off the Wall”), saw “The Wiz” multiple times, and marveled when he unleashed the moonwalk. I remember wanting to go see the “Victory” tour for maybe a minute in the mid-eighties. But my MJ fandom stops there.

Yes, artistically, he was a trailblazer in many ways. But it is stunning to me how completely amnesiac people are to the more recent MJ doings. Nothing musically that was worth any significance. The marriage to Lisa Marie Presley. Dangling his son over a hotel balcony. And oh, hey, remember the molestation trial? Not to mention the previous ‘incident’ that ended up with him paying the family $25 million to not talk about it? Remember the alcohol in soda cans allegations? You know OJ Simpson was acquitted too but everyone still thinks/believes he killed Nicole. I have to say that I feel the same about MJ. I don’t think he was all there and don’t understand why his death, as premature as it may be, should instigate this kind of deifying media attention.

I know the argument is that what he did artistically should supercede the other stuff.  There’s a lot of things being said like, “Well, aside from all that other stuff, how ’bout that music?”  I find it hard to separate them.  MJ certainly didn’t.  Most of his life was lived in the public eye, by his own design, even if he didn’t admit it.  And much of it was at time (early nineties) when we (the world in general) didn’t seem as celebrity-obsessed, glued to TMZ, as we are now.  He still made the news (eg. marriage to Lisa Marie, marriage to Rowe, birth of his kids, dangling Blanket, the “Living with MJ” documentary.)

I know this may sound harsh but I just am not feeling the MJ love. Tomorrow in Los Angeles, they expect a million people to descend on the Staples center. That’s insane. To me, he was a troubled man with severe health and mental issues. May he rest in peace, and may Los Angeles survive the onslaught.

 

July!

Goodness, how did this happen?  July already?!?!?

I must point out my new blog header.  Doesn’t my mom do great work?  I love it!

I won’t go into all the details that made up June, but I will say that we successfully released the Rock Band’s CD on June 21st.  Both my parents wrote about it, so you can see the details on their blogs if you’re so inclined.  In brief, the show went very well and I was pleased with the results.  The show itself kicked all kinds of ass and I know that Han had a great time playing.

Since then, I’ve been trying to relax.  Trying to figure out how time just moves on whether you want it to or not.

Oh, I will mention one other June thing.  The San Diego Junior Theater play that DK is in opened on June 26.  It’s Mulan Jr, and it’s just awesome.  I am always so impressed with their productions.  The play runs until July 12.

It is my humble intent to write at least a little–dare I say it?–every day.  Stated with the purest intention in my heart.

Stay tuned for an upcoming post about my day with Snickers the dog.