Sometimes kids dress up for Halloween as something that they want to be when they grow up. Sometimes it’s just fantasy or fun. But seeing as how today is Halloween (I’ll post a picture tomorrow probably), I thought it would be a good time to expound on Schmoopy’s meme to list “5 things I want to be when I grow up.” Here are the basics:
What did you dream about doing before everyday life got in the way? Before the “real job” became, well, real. What does your heart long to do? What if fear were taken out of the equation entirely? How would you spend your time here? What did you dream about as a child when you laid upon the soft grass staring up into the clouds, watching all the shapes morph into objects during those lazy days when the concept of possibility was never ending and time seemed as if it would go on forever?
The idea of this meme is to spend some time thinking about this and rediscovering our dreams and then writing about them on your blog as a way to hold on to them, honor them, perhaps even make some of them a reality…
Like lovely Schmoopy, I’ve pondered this a bit and was pleasantly surprised to realize that many of my dreams have happened, in some way or another. So I felt challenged to come up with future dreams or other goals I can aspire to.
Since I was a kid, I have always thought the idea of working with flowers every day would be awesome. In high school, I got a part-time job at Conroy’s helping out during their busy ‘formal dance season.’ I remember that I had to pin the heads of roses so that they stayed upright in the bins. I didn’t hate it and I don’t recall why I didn’t continue to work there. Scheduling maybe? It is still something I think of wistfully.
2. Bookstore/cafe/venue operator
Those are all three combined into one thing in this dream. I even have a name for it, which I will keep to myself. This would be a neighborhood place, maybe in a small to mid-size town where folks could get books, coffee and hear live music. The closest thing I might be able to compare it to is Zandbroz, except I don’t think they do live music. The way I would see this coming to fruition is if I were to take over something already established and then help it continue and flourish.
This dream would be one that is already true for me, but not to the fullest I believe it can be. I make my living writing, though it’s not completely creative. I have had success as a poet in a somewhat limited scope. I would like to be known as a poet, on par with Sharon Olds, Jane Kenyon and Joy Harjo. Part of my goals for ’08 and beyond is to submit my work and try to get my name out there a bit more. I’ve also tossed around the idea of getting an MFA though I’m still not sold on it. There are residencies and grants and all kinds of things out there that are representative to me of what it means to be a writer/poet. I’m not saying that I’m not a poet now, but I’ve always wanted to fully commit to it.
4. Musician/performing artist
Or as Schmoopy wrote: rock star. As a kid, I pretended to play keyboards and would sing at the top of my lungs. As a spoken word artist, I have had a lot of experience performing and being on stage and I really love it. I’ve also on occasion had the pleasure of singing on stage though it scares the crap out of me. I would like to work on this side of my creative life, though having such extremely talented friends does intimidate me a bit.
5. Win the lottery
What’s funny about this is I never play. But the concept is to achieve independent wealth. Although I don’t believe money brings happiness, it can help make some things possible. It could free up the time I spend working (to earn money) to write, create and play (things that don’t always earn money). It could allow for travel, investment etc.
I’m going to break the rules and add a 6th one that I just thought of.
6. Live/work in Spain
I have family there and for a brief time I was seriously considering moving there for a while to see how it felt. I’ve spent extended periods of time there as a child. I’ve also traveled there as an adult but not with the same luxury of time (see # 5). I love it there, particularly the eastern coast (Costa Brava). I would love for Han & I to spend time there as his style of music is widely popular over there. Ideally, I would be able to combine this one with # 3 and feel completely content.
What a wonderful exercise this turned out to be! Some of these are things I’ve not given much energy too lately but just writing about them has lifted my spirits. If anyone else would like to list their dreams, go for it!
It seems appropriate on this of all days that I might summon these dreams, that I might cast the ideas out to the universe on the eve of Samhain, considered to mark the beginning of a whole new cycle. According to http://www.chalicecentre.net/samhain.htm, it says: “In dark silence comes whisperings of new beginnings, the stirring of the seed below the ground.”
And with this, I have reclaimed my love for this day and what it can represent. I recognize that it was no mistake that I chose to be a witch today. I am tuned in to the magic. Hope you are, too!