and they say global warming isn’t real & other thoughts

All I know is that it’s a little after 6 pm and the temperature here in San Diego is 74 degrees.  Now I know that SD has a great climate but even this is unseasonably warm.  I happen to like it quite a bit though I look forward to getting out the two scarves my mom has made for me when the chill does come in.  It’s usually January & February that are the “colder” months, but I’ll take what we get.
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My blog posts are usually multi-topic.  I want to touch on various things usually.  My sister posted her response to the 5 things she wanted to be when she grew up and it made me ponder something about my own list, something that wasn’t on it.  Massage therapist.  The reason I find this fact strange is because I went to school for that very thing.  I have a combination of 500 hours of class and hands-on training to do just that.  And yet, it’s not a dream of mine.  I was startled by this realization earlier today.  The thing is, when I decided to go to school, I was very unhappy in the job I had at the time and I was longing for a way out.  I knew I needed to learn the skills.  It was something I thought I could be good at.  I still think that actually.  I enjoyed being back in class, I excelled at my studies and found the power of touch to be quite fascinating.  But it didn’t consume me.  I couldn’t see the path I would take.  Many of my fellow students talked about their next steps, the national exam, working in a chiropractor’s office or getting additional training to specialize their skills.   It’s a very selfless profession but at the same time you have to be in control of the situation.  One of the things that turned me off  a lot was the fact that here in San Diego, the profession is considered “adult entertainment.”  So in order to get your license, you have to go down to the vice department.  I still cringe at “happy ending” jokes that are made on TV or in movies.   A truly beneficial and viable form of health care is often reduced to a sexual punchline.  Maybe I’m weak, but I didn’t want to take up that fight.  After I completed the coursework, I sent out an email to friends with a short list of treatments and asked if anyone was interested in having me work on them for practice (since I didn’t have my license I couldn’t legally charge).  I got one response.  And I worked on her and it was fine and she was sweet and gave me a tip, but I knew then that I wasn’t going to pursue it much further.  And beyond that, I personally didn’t enjoy receiving massages.  At least not the standard Swedish massage.  I like some of the specialty stuff like feet or body wraps.  So how could I possibly work at something that I myself didn’t love?  I thoroughly respect the work and encourage people to seek it as a method of treatment if it works for them.  It just doesn’t work for everyone, whether it’s the therapist or just you not feeling comfortable.  I work on Han almost every day and it helps him and I enjoy helping him feel better.  I’ve also identified that I really like working on feet (something I also like being done to me).  So maybe somewhere down the road, I can take a reflexology course or other training and maybe specialize in that, but it’s not high on my list.  Part of me feels like I kind of failed since I didn’t follow-through with anything after school was over, but another part of me is kind of proud that I recognized that it wasn’t going to bring the joy or freedom I thought it would.  Sure, I’d be able to work for myself, but not right away and I probably would still have to have a “regular” job.  
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In a last thought, I want to send some blog love to the dancing mermaid who is reaching out in her own marvelous way about her current struggles.  I found her recent post to be very brave and honest.  Though I’ve never been diagnosed or considered myself depressed, I can certainly identify with much of what she has to say, as I’m sure a lot of people can.  I feel things deeply and I don’t shy away from them.  I often feel helpless in the face of adversity (my own or someone else’s) and have sometimes felt lost.  I work through it all, in one way or another, and like to think of myself as an optimistic person overall.  My mom has often said that she has no time or need for books or movies that will make her sad and I see her point.  Han is the same way. But I see beauty in these things as well, and feel they can inform a different part of ourselves, can fill a part of our hearts. 

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One Comment Add yours

  1. mamacita says:

    I do love massages, especially legs and feet,and face, I never had one till you gave me one. I know is a bit icky massaging your own mother lol, but hmmm anytime you feel the urge, I would be more than happy to let you practice on me 🙂
    If I am not mistaken I still have some coupons you gave me for my birthday/Christmas.Alas, you told me they had expired!

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