blindsided

What the fuck is up with this year?  It’s becoming increasingly difficult to bounce back.  Today, news of another friend passing.  It seems impossible, right?  Lorna “Doone” Hamilton died in an ATV accident on Thanksgiving.  There is a wake for her this afternoon at the Casbah.  I knew her though not well.  She was a fan of Han’s Acoustic Duo and a friend to him.  She was known for her involvement with the scene during the Beat Farmers days and in keeping the memory alive of that group’s lead singer, Country Dick Montana, a true San Diego legend.

It was comforting in a way to read that she was happy and in a good place in her life, as evidenced by her last blog post on her myspace page written on 11/9:

Karma

Karma came around and took me out to lunch.
I have never been more inspired, more at peace, more in love.
I find myself smiling all the time. Finding the good in people, the good in me.
I have hope that tomorrow will be even better than today.
Life is beautiful.

Finding joy in every day…..

So, here it is.  Another message from the universe to make every day mean something.  And so my petty annoyances, my selfish grievances, with people in general seem ridiculous and a waste of time.  I put on my headphones to wash dishes and the song, “For a Dancer” was starting.  How fitting.  Another message from the universe.

For A Dancer
written by Jackson Browne
Keep a fire burning in your eye
Pay attention to the open sky
You never know what will be coming down
I don`t remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you`d always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you`re nowhere to be found

I don`t know what happens when people die
Can`t seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It`s like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can`t sing
I can`t help listening
And I can`t help feeling stupid standing `round
Crying as they ease you down
`Cause I know that you`d rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away
(Right on dancing)
No matter what fate chooses to play
(There`s nothing you can do about it anyway)

Just do the steps that you`ve been shown
By everyone you`ve ever known
Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another`s steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you`ll do alone

Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don`t let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you`ll never know 
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2 thoughts on “blindsided

  1. Damn girl. Sorry to hear about the passing of yet another one of your friends. I’m thinking about you and sending happy thoughts your way.

    Love you.

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