I was introduced to a new term tonight and that term is “scene girl.” It came up in conversation as DK told her dad & I about what kind of hairstyle she wanted to get, and that was how she described it, half Goth and half scene girl. Just go ahead and do a google search if you like. I did. I particularly like this description: how to be a scene girl. DK is pretty much there, I just had no idea there was a term for how she chooses to dress, decorate her room etc. It’s cool. Her dad is encouraging her to express herself how she wants because he did not have that kind of support when he was her age. I’m all for whatever makes her happy.
I don’t know if there was any way to describe how I was at that age, in 6th grade. I remember I had spent the summer before 6th grade in Spain and came back to my little Idaho town with a self-assumed air of sophistication. I had short hair and dressed in the style of the era (yay 1983!) and wasn’t quite a rebel but knew I didn’t want to be like and/or simply wasn’t typical of the other girls. My non-Mormonism set me apart as it was, I liked different music (thanks, Sandy). I was smart, I was getting into sports. And soon, I would be moving to California.
Once we moved to CA, and I started high school, my “style” evolved a bit more. I was hip to the trends of the mid-80s, desperate to match the color of my cable sweater with my socks and earrings. I started wearing make-up in 8th grade, and gave it up one morning in 9th grade (for good, rarely wear any make-up to this day). My hair was chopped short in the back but longer in the front with a random tiny braid hanging down the front. I was into The Cure but was not hardcore. Han scoffs at me when we discuss bands from that era. He was way more into the darker stuff. But I also liked The Rolling Stones and Willie Nelson. I was kind of all over the place musically. I was way into sports and school. Most of my friends were other athletes and “joiners” as I was once dubbed by a guy I dated. I really liked high school for the most part. Sure I had your basic teen angst but nothing too spectacular. There were some fights with my mom, one that I’m pretty sure she will remember is when she refused to let me attend the MTV Video Music Awards in LA with my boyfriend of the time, who was a “ticket-seller.” The reason? It was raining. I don’t recall exactly what year it was, probably 1988, maybe ’89. Another big controversy (not necessarily my mom’s fault) was that I couldn’t get tickets to the Wham! concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I know.
I really tried to keep a healthy perspective of high school. To enjoy it and revel in its daily adventures, and then to leave it behind. I’ve found that I’m not that nostalgic about high school, which may be one of the reasons I’m so trepidatious about re-connecting with so many of my former classmates who are popping up on Facebook. The idea of re-capping my life in the last 19 years for them seems like a chore I simply can’t complete. Sure, there are some people whose names I see and I think, “Oh, she was nice,” or “He was a cool guy,” but it stops there. Is that wrong? Part of me feels guilty because they made the effort to “friend” me or whatever it’s called. I don’t know, maybe they’d be interested in what I’m doing, but when I’m not that interested in what they’re doing…I guess I find it hard to consider they would be interested in my world. Maybe not. Maybe I’ve shrunk down my world so much that I’ve lost perspective on this part of my life. I mean, with high school, it was finite. You got four years. Same with college. And then, it’s all indefinite. There are no regulations on how to go from there, and suddenly it’s 19 years since high school, 15 years since college and you’re looking down the road at 40. Time is bizarre! It’s so funny because it’s such a cliche to think of what you’ll be like when you’re in high school, and then still be able to remember how you felt then, even when it’s almost 20 years later, and you may still have many of the same issues, just in a different context.
Looking at pictures of scene girls online, DK made a comment about how one girl looked so old. Han peered at it and said, “Honey, that’s girl’s probably about 20 years old.” Oy, these kids these days 🙂