This day will never be easy. I will always think about that morning. That day. That new reality of life without my dad.
This morning, I desperately tried to remember where I kept the grief journal I wrote last year, the one that I couldn’t even think until a year had gone by. Where was it? It’s not like me to throw out something I’ve written really ever. Finally, I found it, thinking I’d read it later that day, but damn if I didn’t stand there and read every word and cry.
I texted a bit with my sister. I posted on FB. And then I read my book and just sat with it. To honor him, my mom & I went to one of his favorite restaurants, the Los Alamitos Fish Company. It was delicious. I cried there too but managed to pull it together fairly quickly.
I’ve tried to be gentle with myself today, and I feel good that I did.
Two years. It seems crazy to think about all that’s happened in that time and all that still lies ahead. I miss him. And I know he loved me.