Caregiving when Dad was released from the hospital to come home for hospice they insisted that he constantly be on oxygen low, whirring concentrator in his room long green tubing before his trek to the living room each morning, then back again for naps and at night, he’d ask for the cannula to be removed…
NPM – 23 of 30
It’s been 5 months today since the day I describe below. ~~ “did he give you a good story for the day he died?” – “The Funeral” by Lindsay White when we could no longer lift him when it took four paramedics to get him back to the bedroom when he was barely able to…
A song moment
“…and tomorrow’s bound to be a better day and I’ll start over, and I’ll find my way yeah, yeah, it’s good to be alive I’m still feeling kinda sad, yeah but it’s good to be alive” – Cathryn Beeks Good to Be It happened on my way home from work. This song came up on…
A body in revolt
Last Friday, I got home a wee bit early and promptly devoured the food I had in my fridge. Yes, it was probably a bit much, but it was turkey nachos, with black beans, 3 kinds of peppers, tomatoes, and cheese. Not completely terrible, but my stomach hurt a bit afterward. I took a walk…
NPM – 22 of 30
Christmas Day what I remember: walking to Starbucks with my sister & her husband tripping and falling flat on my face into a yard on the way home when I told my dad I’d fell, the way he took my hand, patted it, made sympathetic noises knowing it would be my dad’s last Christmas not…
Walking Weekend in San Diego
I haven’t been in my car since I got home from work on Friday afternoon. I love weekends like this. I slept in (for me) on Saturday, getting up a little after 8 am. I got dressed and went to my favorite French cafe where I worked on poems and a little work. I stayed…
NPM – 21 of 30
Searching the Sky flying west toward the coast toward home golden horizon beckons promising nothing I’m familiar with what awaits quiet, unspoken thoughts about the trajectory of my life falling into bed, returning to work spouting canned pleasantries about my trip we hurtle through the sky at death-defying speeds through unimaginable cold in relative comfort…
NPM – 20 of 30
Winter Solstice on the longest night of the year my father told us he was ready to die driving home, those lines popped in my head so I knew this poem had to come at some point it’s impossible to exist in these two roles daughter, poet without overlap ~~ his decision was both shocking…
Vacation – days 9 & 10: Edinburgh => Dublin => Los Angeles => San Diego
Woke up fairly early but had gotten some good sleep. Used the morning hour to write the blog for day 8. Got my bag together. I went into Barbara’s room for a tearful (on my part, she was still half asleep) goodbye. It has been so wonderful traveling with her, and I’m really going to…
Vacation – day 8: Methil => Kirkcaldy => Aberdour => Edinburgh
We were happy to leave Methil. I didn’t sleep much, though my sleep was okay during its 5 hours. And, weirdly, my sleep machine kind of broke in the morning. The button to turn it off stopped functioning, so I can still use it but I have to plug/unplug to turn it on/off. So that’s…
Vacation – day 7: Allandale => Falkirk => Doune => Falkland => St. Andrews => Methil
Another great day in Scotland! I didn’t fall out of the bed so it already started better! I took a shower and leisurely got my bag packed up. Barbara asked for an extra hour before check out so it was no big hurry. We got our breakfast rolls, sausage for me this time, and coffee…
Vacation – day 6: Allandale => Glasgow
I woke up when I rolled off the twin bed and nearly crashed to the floor. It was around 8 am. Thinking back, I really can’t say how I didn’t knock my head on the side table. I was somehow able to wake up midair and think to put my foot down to stop myself…
